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Personal hygiene

Wayfaring January 16, 2018 21:23
Hi, I have an 11 year old daughter who has been at home for 4.75 years and will not under any circumstances wash her hands and face, body or hair. Nor will she clean her teeth whatsoever. Very occasionally, she will have a bath and/or shower and wash her hair too, but these are few and far between. I am at a loss at what to do. She understands the importance of personal hygiene, but is just plain defiant and no matter what I do or say makes any difference.
Edited 17/02/2021
clr1 January 16, 2018 23:00
Sounds really difficult. Have you had any therapeutic input to understand whether there is anything in her past which may be behind her reluctance? Do think that rewards might work? My AD doesn't enjoy washing (but doesn't have the same level of resistance to it as your AD) but every Saturday evening I let her have dinner while watching a film of her choice, as long as she has a bath & washes her hair beforehand. Might natural consequences work? Eg, "I'm afraid that you can't have sweets at weekend if you haven't cleaned your teeth every evening this week....
Edited 17/02/2021
Haven January 17, 2018 07:55
How frustrating! I was also wondering if there's an underlying reason? In the meantime, will she go swimming or maybe use a mouthwash (you could do it together for fun?
Edited 17/02/2021
Lettice January 17, 2018 16:51
I think it’s particularly difficult because it’s a common symptom of some quite different things - the three that come to my mind are sensory issues, self-esteem issues and depression. Do you think any of those might be the underlying problem for your daughter? The sensory issues were a factor with my child and I’ve noticed similar threads on here where a child appears to be phobic of a bathroom environment. Bathrooms sound different (strong, bright echoes). Lighting, smell, humidity are also different. Could your child be hyper-sensitive and react to one of these? Or might the bathroom environment be a trigger for a bad, possibly subconscious, memory? The other side of the coin is where the child’s own smell is comforting to them. Or makes them feel safer. There are lots of good ideas for supporting a child with sensory issues if you think that might be a factor.
Edited 17/02/2021

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