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There is a very old one - one of the Topsy and Tim books - don't know if you've heard of them? They adopt a baby into their family ( a Vietnamese refugee possibly going by looks?) and clearly have a previously adopted sibling who is mixed race. It's very old fashioned but we read it for the reasons given on the other thread that any story recognising adoption is useful - a library might have it or be able to get it - I think it's called Topsy and Tim adopt a baby (or something similar)

Well remembered safia! I think the adopted child was called Tansy (?) Adoption uk’ book called ‘oh brother’ is a good one or the Todd parr books about families being different are good ones. There a story called toms tree house - Tom is adopted and then his mum & Dad have a bc. It’s a nice story, aimed about 5-7yrs old

Yes - and she always wore flip flops even though the others were wearing shoes!

PS. I know this isn’t your question but I’m just going to flag something. My bc is quite sensitive. She’s 10. She’s been impacted hugely from living with our adoptees who have had extensive early trauma. Might be worth looking into what therapy support he’s able to get when his sibling comes along. Don’t be fobbed off with ‘if there’s a problem go to CAMHS’ camhs is just not going to cut it and anyway he’s very unlikely to meet criteria. Get it in writing they’ll fund his therapy

Our birth son was a similar age to yours when we adopted and we read him the Judy Bloom Fudge books before our AS arrived. They worked really well for us as the little brother Fudge (birth sibling in the books) is very annoying. It scared my birth son a bit I think, but gave him a more realistic expectations of what having a sibling would be like. This meant that when our BS's little brother arrived despite biting, kicking and screaming he was much better than Fudge and generally viewed as being a perfect little brother!

Thank you so much for al of your tips and for taking time to reply to me all noted and I will look at getting some books. PearTree - this is my main concern is the impact on our birth child as he is so sensitive to situations and people and such a happy child I do worry about bringing in to his home a nightmare that will make his life worse not better which is the hope in giving him a sibling. We are going to be very careful when deciding on the right child based on possible behaviours due to the trauma and impact on our birth child. Thank you for the tip that's really helpful to know can I ask all how are your birth child and adopted child interacting now? have they settled into being siblings or not?

Hi there, We also have a sensitive birth son who was 6 when AS arrived (19 months). We are now 2 yrs in. I can absolutely say that the thing we were least prepared for was the impact on our birth son and inturn the impact on us trying to balance their needs. We used all of the books suggested above and also found 'The big bag of worries' and 'Callum kindly and the very weird child' helpful. I would spend time with your BS explaining that when LO arrives they will take a lot of your time but that's because they need it not because you love BS any less. Things are much better now, but we have dealt with drastic regression in BS (soiling himself, toddler like tantrums) and statements like 'I might as well be dead' - all of which are completely out of character. Things we found helped where talking/reading as previously mentioned. Making special time just for him such as movie night and (although this went against my instincts) enrolling him in after school clubs. Hope that helps. G xx

Thanks Gilliflower yes very helpful I am definitely thinking more of the impact on our birth child than anything and try to get the preparation right as he is aware the baby should come from my tummy and not somewhere else and not a baby so how to explain that to him initially was my concern. Then getting him ready for another child taking up my time away from him but I guess that would be the same with a birth sibling too, however they would have 9 months to come to terms with that! all very worrying to be honest. just hope we are doing the right thing

I have a BS aged 6 and AS aged 5. AS came home aged 1. They love each other and hate each other. They cuddle and they fight. They play together and they wind each other up. They wouldn't be without each other. And yes - they are still young. And yes - we still have a long way to go. And yes - they will probably be horrific as teenagers. But right now? Life is pretty damn good and we are having a blast. I say do it.

thankyou Chickenlegs I really appreciate your comments nice to hear some positivity xx