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12/13
Pear Tree
July 30, 2013 08:06
Gobby defiant lazyDon''t want to do anythingPain In the whatsitTake them somewhere lovely, fun and it takes such effort to actually get them to play/ interact/ join in that when they do they are having a wonderful time- you can''t enjoy them as they''ve hacked you off so much all morning Then the sulking because you were rightThey can''t cope with this Trouble is. He''s 18Saying no more and trying not to murder sullen teen
aprilshowers
July 30, 2013 08:25
I know I know...my nearly 18 has been out playing for four days...yes four days on the trot...did not do the work he wants money for...has not rung to organise to see his son or collect his belongings he has left at ex gf, when asked what have you been up to and where have you been sleeping....the answer is the park...and he is right big thing in our area...doing an all nighter...shame my ds interprets that as four days and nights...stinks to high heaven.
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Donatella
July 30, 2013 09:53
I guess the thing is that ordinarily you wouldn't actually expect an 18 year old to come with you on family outings. And I get what you say about emotional age but I think you'd struggle with a real 12 year old- as well!My son is 12 and emotionally where he should be and I have to say that this is probably the most tricky school holiday we've had. He just doesn't want to go out and do fun things because, to him, they're not fun, they're boring. He certainly really doesn't want to do stuff with his 7 year old sister.And it's not just him - its noticeable how many of his friends are on line with him. He's not yet old enough for me to go out and leave him for too long and he's not yet old enough to go out with his friends and come back to n empty house.
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Jellies
July 30, 2013 13:33
Tell me about it !!! My 13yr old has taken to staying up all night on the electronics ! So law laid down 2 nights ago - electronics will go to work with dad if he continues. ! st night - very good, last night, I go in at 4.45 to find him using (but because it isn't drugs there is no self help group I can enrol him in).So, electronics have gone to work with Dad today and his lordship is refusing to wake up - which was useful this am as I had to leave them home alone while I went to see consultant with Dad about darling demented mum. Ej being an absolute star !
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Pear Tree
July 30, 2013 18:14
No, I'd expect a 12/13 yr old to give me the thumbs down to family days out.Just it's hard not to spot other 18 yr olds who've grown up out of the offish phases Have the capacity to do some life balancing of their ownHe's very young at times and other times seems quite grown up.He's been a delight at a day out doing sciencey things today and Its not my favourite thing so I've tried to model joining in when you're not enthused..., perhaps he will learn given more time?
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Littlemisscheerful
July 30, 2013 18:47
PT, am I right in thinking that he has Aspergers dx? The not being able to consider others sounds very ASD to me. Keep going, some of it MUST be going in!
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Littlemisscheerful
July 30, 2013 18:48
PT, am I right in thinking that he has Aspergers dx? The not being able to consider others sounds very ASD to me. Keep going, some of it MUST be going in!
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Pear Tree
July 30, 2013 21:41
LMC yes he has an "aspergic traits" dx. Never quite got the full one....But it IS very aspergic. Now I think of it.He's got fixed and addicted.Funnily I was reflecting on our early days together and remember a conversation about the then game boys.The FC said for goodness sake don't get one for him they had had their grandchildren over and partridge had borrowed a game boy from one of them and been on it a lot.then had aching hands.Took him to the dr he'd got RSI!At 6 years old!
Edited 17/02/2021
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