September 13, 2020 18:31
My partner and I have spent the last couple of years researching about adoption and preparing ourselves to start this journey.
We are very much looking into fostering for adoption and we feel we have the right the skills to be able to cope (as best we can) with whatever may come our way. But also there are so many positives for the children that this route has.
We thought we were almost ready to apply, then we watched Aimee Coppers video on her journey and found out (as no one had told us before) that when you take this route you will have to take unpaid leave for up to 6 months until the adoption order comes through. As foster carers technically only get paid £25 a week in our area (I don't know if it differs elsewhere) we are really concerned that financially this isn't going to be manageable.
I am a primary school teacher and I have serious doubts as to whether I would even be allowed to take unpaid leave in the first place and then ask to take a further 6-12 months adoption leave.
Has anyone experienced this journey that could shed some light? We would be very grateful, thank you.
May 19, 2022 11:41
Hi everyone, I am new here so any support will be much appreciated.
ok, myself and hubby have our son adopted from Thailand 2015. we are very interested in pursing this journey again except at home with fostering in view to adopt.
We have had a rather tough experience with our trust in Northern Ireland, especially regarding our BMI's, and then misinformation, as we wanted to do concurrent care with view to adopt, they said they weren't aware of this and because of our BMI and the concurrent care falls under the umbrella of Adoption assessment we will encounter the same challenge's.... very long story short. we really want to do this and wonder can we do this with another trust in northern Ireland who are not going to be as our past experiences. its heart-breaking as we have adopted before and our son is very settled happy and much loved.
May 19, 2022 13:50
June 10, 2022 10:37
No, you won’t get to name any child who’s on a foster to adopt placement with you. The baby will probably still be having contact with birth family and at that stage there’s no 100% guarantee that the child will remain with you.
It’s an emotive subject and some sws will be less keen than others on the whole name change topic. We were told categorically during a planning meeting for our eldest that we had to change his name. We’ve only realised with hindsight that he was probably named to be found. We’ve kept an element of his birth name though.
Similar scenario with number two who came with real security risks. Again, we’ve kept his original name as one of his names. Both know their original christian names - we’ve never kept it a secret.
We kept number 3s birth name and she’s always hated it and has frequently asked to change it. We waited until she was 16 and after a period of therapeutic lifestory work before considering it seriously. She was still adamant so at that point we formally changed it via deed poll. She’d already been using the middle name we gave her.