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Not entirely sure how or if that would work. Where and how would your parents figure in this? How do they feel about it? What role do you envisage them having?

They have already said they 100% support me on this and that they are there if I need them. I envisage them as being normal grandparents. I wouldn't expect them to do everything as if I'm matched then that child would be mine so I will be doing everything

But if you're all living together then they're going to have to be part of the process. At they very least they'd have to be crb checked. Have you spoken to any agencies yet? I suspect it'll be complicated.

I've spoken to one and they seem ok with it! The CRB wouldn't be a problem and they know try will be involved as they've gone through the process before

To be honest yes I can see it as being a problem. When you say you have a spare room, do you really mean your parents have a spare room? But its about so much more than a bedroom, my house has been completely taken over by my son. What happens if you and your parents disagree over parenting methods, are you working , who will provide childcare when you are at work, how would you ensure that that the child isnt confused about who the parents are? I think you've posted elsewhere that you are only 24. I know it's hard these days to find affordable housing and of course I've no idea why at 24 you are still living with your parents but I do think SWs may struggle with you essentially being dependent on your parents for something as critical as housing. I would think your parents would have to be assessed as well as you. You say your parents have been through the process , was this quite some time ago when adoption was a very different undertaking or more recently and if so are there other young people in the household ? Might it not be better to think about adoption in a few years time when you've had the chance to establish yourself. You have plenty of time

well it would be possible, but different. A panel I was on once approved a similar match, think parents may have lived in an annexe, but it does have its positives, support at hand, baby sitters, financial, and if you had a birth child you would still have all the rows!! so , go for it, nothing to loose have you, be prepared for a tough ride!!

But there is a big difference between a probably more mature adopter, financially independent, be they single or as a couple, with parents living in a separate granny flat, who can help out and a single person of 24, still living at home with parents

Well she but try. she will not have an easy ride to approval and a harder one probably with match, and many young people of 24 ish are still living at home these days, times are very different. As I said in my post, she has nothing to loose.

Thank you mum24, who's to say I'm not mature at 24 or financially stable? Yeah I live at my parents house but that's irrelevant to me I will still be that child's parent it's no different than a 17 getting pregnant and staying at there parents house just after babies born is it? I've worked on Childcare 8 years this year I know I've got a tough time ahead and probably a harder one because I'm single and living at my parents but I'm willing to go through that so that I can become a dad! I thought this was a place for encouragement and advice all your giving me is negative comments and trying to dishearten me!

You asked if it might be a problem and some us have said yes it might be, if you ask a question you need to be prepared not to get the answer you want. We havent been negative , we have asked questions and raised issues. Believe me SWs will be a lot tougher on you. Its not the same as getting pregnant at 17 at all, and if that's really whst you think then you do need to do a lot more research about the children who are available for adoption.

Adopting is nothing like bringing a newly formed baby into your home. You won't be adopting a newborn with no history. You will be adopting a fully formed toddler/child with a trauma history. With doubtless less than ideal in utero experiences - drugs, alcohol exposure. Possibly domestic violence. Possibly with birth parents with diagnosed or, most likely, undiagnosed mental illness. Now, none of this is said to put you off, nor am I intending it to be negative. My three children are amazing little people - but in no way are they like they would have been had they been my birth children. This might not be what you want to hear but I really wouldn't use that analogy to a social worker. It really is incomparable. You will have to answer the difficult questions so you might as well be prepared. You will have to discuss finances, you will have to be prepared to take a fair amount of time off work to help a child settle. You will gave to funnel. You'll know what that is as you appear to have a wealth of Childcare experience. You will need to learn about therapeutic parenting, about behaviours in school - invariably a biggie. Personally I do think at 24 you're very young. I don't know about your life experiences but I do know, knowing my children, that I wouldn't have coped at 24 and there is no way that my parents would have coped full time with my children. That's the reality. You don't have to like it nor do you have to agree but I suggest you start reading quickly and educating yourself - and your parents - about the whirlwind that may hit you. Best of luck!

Grgdgb, I am afraid I agree with Serrakunda. The SW will be very tough on you. Adoption is about the child not about the prospective adopter. Age, single parent, financial status, stability, support network, child care experience (and believe me 8 years working in childcare is not that long compared to some prospective adopters) will be questioned by SW and you may not be able to give the answers that they want. I am married, in own home and financially stable and I foud the process tough. Adopted children need stability, so SW will ask when you intend to move to your own home. If a child is placed with you and they bond with grandparents and then you move home they will suffer another separation trauma. Really this is not a criticism of you and I admire your enthusiasm to adopt but any agency will probably not make you a priority if they have 'easier' prospective adopters to consider. I wish you luck and hope I am wrong. G

just keep us posted, everyone has a different view on life/adoptive life. As a panel member for 9 years you would be amazed at the very different sort of families that come forward, many don't make it, but lots do. As many different sort of families there are out there, there are also many different children. Adoption is hard, I came to it with a wealth of experience, still work in child care, but, well its tough, I had an easy ride at first, till eldest was 16, and second was 12 when things became tough, but 2 youngest, 12 and 15, are pretty much ok. How about trying respite or short term fostering whilst looking at your options, will give you a glimpse of what its like when you cant leave the kids at work.......

ps. the one thing you do have is time. you are young, so there is no mad rush, take your time to look into it all, go along to adoption days, gain knowledge and experience.

You asked a question, and your difficulty accepting the honest responses you have been given is concerning - if you really want to adopt you will face much harsher than this. I am a single adopter who had nearly twenty years childcare/early years experience when I started going through the process. I don't know your personal financial circumstances, but I know that working in childcare doesn't pay wonderfully well; even now, in a senior position I make an average salary, which all goes on childcare, mortgage and bills. Once you have a child placed there will be all sorts of financial pressures. If you could no longer live at your parent's house could you single-handedly afford rent or mortgage/bills/childcare, etc? We all have our support networks, but we have the sole responsibility for our child, therefore any decent SW will be going into these things very thoroughly with you. Then there is your age and how you might cope with an extremely needy child, with emotional/physical/learning difficulties. It's not impossible and I sincerely hope that you do realise your dream to be a dad, but adoption is about finding a family for a child, not a child for a family. Please take our comments in the way they were meant - as indications of the barriers you will face. Do some more reading and get some more experience - there is no rush. Good luck.

the reality is it will be very difficult to get an agency to even consider you much less assess you with your age, living situation and singleness all combined. fair or not fair, that is the reality you face at the moment. and, not aimed at OP particularly, i have concerns every time i hear the message that people not ready to adopt, or who are likely to find it hard to adopt, or are considering it but haven't made up their mind yet, might find fostering answers those questions or fills the need for children or gives them the experience to then go on to adopt later. fostering is a whole different ball game and the children who come into foster care are even more traumatised usually than those that move onto adoption, we do a lot of work with them before they are ready to find forever families and they are not there to meet the needs of anyone, including prospective adopters, on a try before you basis. (sorry sound harsh, but it irritates me as both an adopter and as a foster carer)

Absolutely agree with loads of bubs re fostering to 'try it out' , in any case I would have thought the same barriers to G being accepted by an agency for adoption assessment would similarly be barriers to assessment for fostering.

Social workers want to be 100% certain that it's going to work out. Being dependent on parents for housing is inherently unstable - what happens if they can't bear the child's behaviours and demands that you move out? Like someone else said, these kids come from a trauma background and can be very challenging to live with. Some people get kids who smear poo, who wee in places they shouldn't, who hurt pets, who can't sit still for a minute..... Not all grandparents are going to put up with it. It's not about being negative - this is a place where adopters can give you insights into the process and often the reality of adoption is nothing like the way the government is portraying it. These kids are often traumatised and living with it can just about break you - I restrict my own parents' time with my children as it's just too much for them. They couldn't possibly live here with us.

I'm single and living with my Mum - as long as you have a spare room and as long as your parents are ready to endure the endless amounts of questions, you'll be fine :) They will have to have a police check because they'll be living with the child. And panel will want to know what your back-up plan is if your parents decide they cannot have you in the home with the child any more. Your social worker will over-emphasise that the child may try to divide your parents against you as they will learn to manipulate unless you all agree that whatever you says, goes! And your parents will have to assure your social worker that they understand an adopted child cannot be spoilt the same way a biological child can. I had to constantly assure my SW and the panel, that my Mum would never undermine me. Hope it helps. And best of luck.