Edited 17/02/2021
When one of you isn''t religious
wee me
February 2, 2013 13:53
My other half and I were brought up in the same religion, however I have taken it further in life than him and his family are completely unreligious these days. I think this comes from the fact his parents came from different religions also. I respect his and there decisions obviously but when I comes to our lo, I would very much want to teach them about the religion and would like his support in this. My parents have always been very religious and I try and follow in their faith as much as I can although I can''t claim to be 100% devout but I do still follow it in my own way. I know there are things that would upset my parents that he says or does regarding this issue and I worry that it will cause problems when lo comes. How does anyone else cope when you''re trying to teach one thing and others think its just rubbish?
smarties
March 16, 2013 18:48
Hiya,I'm in a similar situation.In our family I'm waiting until my lo is older then I will talk to him about my beliefs and then tell him about daddy's beliefs and I'll see where it takes me. I don't do much with easter, I'm telling everyone no eggs, but my boy loves fruit as much as he loves chocolate so that's easily solved. We don't do halloween although I may have to shift on that as he gets older. I will simply explain that these things have nothing to do with God. Things get more complicated around Christmas, I'm playing down the Santa part.I do play gospel music in the house but I play all kinds of music, it's just something else we listen to.My DH has relaxed a lot about this as he thought that I'd be playing music, reading the Bible, making our son listen to teachings etc, but it's not like that. At the moment Bible stories are some of the stories we read.It's a non issue unless you make it into something big
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Rosey
March 20, 2013 09:36
Hi, it's not quite the same but my children go to a c of e school (I am not religious), it's god this god that, god is all around you.....now, I don't believe but I don't explicitly tell them I don't believe but I say that some people believe in god, some don't, some people believe god created man, some people believe man evolved from apes, etc. I feel that with what they learn at school they will decide later on in life whether they believe or not. I think you need to be prepared for a lo who might not believe too, as I find (from experience) that life events can turn you towards or from god and I would think a child who has had a bad start in life could, longer term, have firm views on what they believe. Just my thoughts
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Fruitcake
March 20, 2013 09:50
All my family are Christian and dh converted after meeting me. His parents, however, remained died in the wool - what? - cynical, indifferent atheists I think would be the best way of putting it! They were frequently rude about our faith and sometimes I worried about this being a negative influence on the children. My dad used to tell me not to worry as the children would care far more about what we believed than the grandparents they didn't see all that much (not exactly family-centred). He was right! What I do think is important is that the parents themselves need to be on the same page ideally, or at the very least tolerant and respectful of each other's beliefs. So your dh's support will be important, even if he is less committed personally. Your in-laws will be far less important.
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Garuda
March 20, 2013 12:25
I was brought up Catholic but have no faith in any religion, though I respect all religions. If I am swayed to any it is Buddhism but again not all the Buddhist belief system I agree with. With my dd she learns from school and goes to church when they go. She is aware of my non faith, I tell her there are many faiths and with that brings many Gods. I think it is important children have an understanding of different faiths. Then when they are adults they can make a decision to change faith as many people do or stick with the one they know. She is happy to go along with the religion taught at her school as she says she does not want to be Buddhist in case she may come back in the next life as maybe a dog or cat. Though she will look after me if she finds that I have returned as a stray dog. Got to love the childs mind!
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Moo-chin
March 20, 2013 21:39
Hi Wee me! I think the main thing is respecting each others feelings with regards to religion in a relationship. I am catholic whilst my hubby is an atheist and though it does make interesting conversations at times,it can also provide children with a balanced view and perspective and help open their minds to think for themselves. We have a really happy 24 year marriage so it can work really well. I think the important things are if you prefer to send LO to a religious school,or want to take part in religious ceromonys and your partner is against this it could cause issues. It is important to work out what will be most important to you both with regards to faith and bringing LO up. If it is important to you then it is best to be honest or you will feel your beliefs are being unrecognised. My hubby whilst opposite to me in belief always respected that i would like the children brought up in the catholic faith. I think it is a matter of LO seeing that as they grow parents accept each other on both sides. Compromise and understanding that you cant change eachother makes a child secure that they too can choose as they grow. I completely understand your concerns and i think at times it wont be easy!! but i think it`s worth knowing how you both feel at the beginning.Sorry to ramble,love moo-chin
Edited 17/02/2021
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