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Hi Brie I think the signs are good in that your LO comes to you for comfort and security. That's really important. I also think that the main carer - the person spending most time with the child, does end up having a bit of a raw deal at times. Of course you need boundaries, but do try to have some fun in there too (if you're not already). It's the same in our house - I do the hard work and DH gets to have fun!!! My girls love to see him at the end of a day, especially if I've been with them all day. However the roles do reverse when my DH is left in charge - maybe you need to make more time to go out on your own and leave them together!!! I think what's going on in your house is probably the same in many houses, and can be frustrating and upseting. Ceci

Oh I sympathise! I feel like I'm a "No" machine half the time. And I know it undermines my husband sometimes, but, for example, really active play or exciting stuff just before bed is not good for the quiet bedtime routine we need to have! On the other hand, if I go out I do get the very very happy welcome when I get back! Lots of happy shouts of "MUMMY"! And that goes a long way. I feel it sometimes when she's being rejecting or punishing me for daring to have a lie-in, but I'm the grown-up, I have to rationalise it and try to understand, she probably doesn't even know why she does it. It's hard! All the "I don't like you, you're not a very nice mummy" doesn't upset me at all. Not wanting a cuddle stings...

This sounds very like my son (aged 3) It's very hard if you feel like you are being rejected; and if you have a history with LO where they bonded quickly with dad first and held you at arms length it can feel even more raw, and make you more alert to anything that's possibly attachment related. It's true that it could simply be that daddy is seen as the fun one, but do trust your instincts too. With us it's all about the atmosphere - Kipper used to scream and sob when I came into the room if he was busy with daddy, and did the same after going out with daddy...he would fight not to be passed to me. I knew it was more than just that daddy was more fun, there was something about the intensity of it that felt odd. He also would also seek daddy out for comfort rather than come to me even if I was right next to him and daddy was elsewhere. Now, some time on, he will still do these things but they have a different atmosphere about them...he'll make a big fuss and cry, or say go away mummy, but somehow the atmosphere is different - more "normal". It's really hard to explain but I think your heart you will be able to tell the difference. How long have you had little one? If it feels a bit odd to you then may simply be a case of needing more time. For us, we were over 2 years in before Kipper began to behave more normally with me...things that made a difference: time, swimming, letting him come in our bed, loads of one to one child-led play. Of course, it might just be that dad is seen as fun, in which case what I have said is not so relevant - just trust your gut feeling is all I mean. Either way, it's really hard when your the one that is always the kill joy setting boundaries!! Good luck

Just re-read your post and seen that when you are together Lo will cling to you and not Dh and go to you if hurt - that's great! That's what Kipper DOESNt do! So you could probably ignore my last post. Sorry - very sleepy this morning!! : )

As a single parent, I see something similar when we are with other adults who Starlet enjoys being with (eg grandma, auntie, my best friend). She always wants to sit by them, have them put her shoes and coat on, play with them and goes out of her way to exclude me. At first it really hurt, but luckily as a singlie I get loads of one to one time, so I know when we are together I am still her number one attachment. I have said before on the old boards, the moment I knew we would be ok we when she was I'll with a high fever. Then all she wanted was to be on my knee, holding my hand, in my bed... No matter who popped round, she wasn't interested. I think for her she now feels like she has to "impress" and win over other people, whereas I am just there all the time and she knows I will be!