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For us/me the key is to let go of any expectations of what you should be doing. You dont have to fill every minute of every day with activities - tried that when they were younger and it rarely worked. It’s perfectly fine to do as little or as much as you and the children can manage and that can vary with age. Mine are all teenagers and don’t want to do anything with me - they sleep till mid morning or later, eldest has now left school so he does his own thing anyway. Middle one is mid GCSEs so alternates between sulking, shouting, arguing, going off on his bike and doing some actual revision. Dd is currently perfecting the art of hair tossing, combined with muttering at me through her teeth and giving me her death stares.

Do what feels right for your family - and that’s not necessarily the same as their peers are doing!

We love school holidays! Definitley more relaxed as long as we know what's going on, I'd never go into a holiday without plans of some sort. Thats not to say every day is structured to the nth degree but Simba will know if there is a scout camp, visit to the grandparents, if we are going away etc

In the early years I would have to plan months in advance, now he is a bit more relaxed I can leave things a bit later - I'm only just starting to think about this summer, a few years ago I would have had it sorted by Christmas.

Not needing child care also means we can be a bit more 'free form'. At nearly 15, I can leave him at home to mess about on the PS4 or go out with his mates to town or the cinema. We have had a huge increase in crime in our area, particularly involving young people and knives so its a big worry for me, So I have deliberately set out to make our house the place to hang out, I have invested in a 'man shed' ( which one day will be my 'lady shed') It has power, heating, a fridge and microwave, table football, TV/DVD, dart board, soon will have WIFI, Sleeps 4. He has a good friendship group. I'd much rather stump up for pizzas and know where they all are.

Simba is not one for lying in - he is back from a DoFE expedition weekend but was keen to go out at 7.30 this morning to do some extra paper rounds as he couldn't do his this weekend.

I'd say that holidays now are in thirds - usually a scout activity, a third with me, and a third with his mates

Even from these two posts, such a difference in your experiences.

I did chuckle @Camelia - you have managed to get your middle DS to do revision! ? Something I am sad never to have achieved with my two adult sons! Do you prefer them sleeping until later or would you prefer them up and about? I probably shouldn't share this, but the later the better if I am at home. ?

I have little expectations of them these days either, but I am still interested in others, and whether there is a common thread in all of this (if there could ever be one when each family is so different!)

The DofE expeditions @Serrakunda27 - I admit to really enjoying seeing the older two take part in those, and it is also such an achievement when you see them succeed in them. I was actually a "helper" with the organisation my two older did them with, and to see that look of achievement was amazing! The Gold was the most amazing, and I could have sobbed for days, especially when the group all got lost for 5 hours! ?

Really interesting responses, thank you! Any more?

Scott

I'm not a morning person and love a lazy start so I couldn't really complain if he did sleep in!

I'm more concerned about a balance between PS4/Phone/You Tube and doing Something More Interesting.

So this week for example = off to camp Friday back late Monday - minimal devices. He has a contact visit with his brother tomorrow, Thursday out for the day with family friends, Friday breakfast with family friends - rest of the day free. Saturday he is out with his mates and the grandparents are coming for the weekend - something about a big match ??

That leaves today and most of Friday - he will probably be on the PS4 all day. I don't mind as he spent the weekend getting lost in Derbyshire ( 4 hours late on Saturday Scott!!), he was out for paper round this morning so had a walk. Thats a fairly typical holiday week for us. Its all about balance.

I do get death stares, but sadly no hair tossing as he has an Afro and it doesnt move even in a gale

We definitely prefer the holidays. My children are much more relaxed. We can sleep in and go at our own pace and meet friends if we like. If the holdidays are longer ones, we either go away or I sign them up for an activity. We have got a rhythm we all enjoy. School is very demanding for one of my daughters. She is absolutely exhausted afterwards and can find it hard to hold it together. She loves it though. My other one feels she has not had enough time with us anyway, so she wants every minute she can get.

Definitely holidays here too.

They used to be a complete repreive from the major difficulties my youngest has at school - now we are aware those difficulties are always there (so holidays aren't such a complete break) but can be managed oh-so-much easily without throwing school into the mix.

We still have routine & structure so both girls know what is happening (which they need) but lots & lots of relaxing and chilling. We try & get out of the house every day for at least a walk but other than that are very much into recharging our batteries before dreaded school starts again.

Now the girls are 10 & 12 electrical time features heavily in their interests, although we do try to limit it. (And they will come off when we say - at the minute!). Yesterday after being on the x-box for an hour or so one took herself off in the garden and the other baked a cake. I sat down - bliss!!

In fact I went to bed last night thinking I could home school (something we discuss off and on especially with youngest) so it must have been a chilled day!

I know we are also lucky not having childcare issues in the holidays (which can be a cause of angst) as I work in a school so have the same hols.

In fact, writing this, I am now already dreading Monday!

My 12yo is now in Ireland with my husband.... Long story, but, at the end of this week they go on summer holidays from school for 3 months.

I will let you know how that goes! He loves school, and I mean loves, we love having him at home, and the relief of the holidays, because as much as he likes it there are still challenges.... So I will let you know how we get on! ?

Scott