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I did ! I was 42 when I applied, 47 when my son came home, I had numerous delays, long story which I won't bore you with, but I got there is the end. My son was older, nearly 8, when he arrived. He is 13 now. I thought a school age child would work best for me, partly because of my age, being single, the need to work, child care costing a fortune. We manage, he has some additional needs, but many adoptive children do. I work part time three days a week. If I had to I would work full time but life is much easier for both of us because I don't. You do need to think seriously about work and how flexible you can be. Some single adopters work full time, some don't. A lot of factors come into it, many of which you won't know until you have a child home with you. I've been very lucky. Despite his extra needs my son loves school, behaves well, is very healthy and goes to after school clubs etc. But he is quite challenging in other wats and by not working full time, I can usually manage to arrange any appointments, therapy etc on my non working days so it doesnt interfere too much with work when I there. It also gives me some precious time to myself, to recharge. I will be honest, today I have done nothing apart from nip to the shops and cook my son dinner, he gets his own breakfast. Thats because we have had a tough few weeks, I'm tired so I went back to bed after I'd seen him off to school. Didnt wake up until 11.30. I did go out for a run and we ended up first aiding an elderly lady who had fallen in the park and waited with her for an ambulance so I at least I did something useful. But mostly its been a lazy day. I just needed it. Tomorrow I will go to my ASD support group and see our family counsellor on my own. So things you need to think about support network finances, particularly how would you fund adoption leave childcare, even with a school age child you have to cover 13 weeks of school holidays, 5 teacher days, snow days etc etc You do need to be flexible and have alternative plans about work. You may be able to work full time, you may not. If you can't what are your options. Don't forget that you may be eligible for tax credits, DLA if the child has extra needs, child benefit so that will make a difference to your finances. Its hard work, but I have an amazing son. He is happy and thriving, I am knackered ! But we are a family and we have great adventures together. So I have no regrets.

Welcome cawley I'm single 35 and I am too on my adoption jorney good luck

Not too late at all... ! I'm another single adopter, and was 46 when my AD arrived. Similar to Serrakunda, she was school age - 6 years old. AD turned out to be very challenging at home and at school, and eventually moved to a specialist school where she is happy and maybe even learning something (my ideas about what matters have been turned upside down by AD). I don't know how I would have survived the early years if I'd been working full time. Aside from recovery time for myself (which really is essential), I had to devote enormous time to negotiating the support AD and her school needed, meetings with the head teacher (there were many), therapy sessions, battling about funding etc etc.... and that's before you add in time spent cleaning, shopping, and general house administration. Having a day at home during the week has meant that I can enjoy time at the weekends with my daughter and not be stressed and grumpy (ok, I am occasionally) - and we have had lots of fun. Picnics, board games, swimming, camping trips, etc etc. There have been some really difficult times but both our lives have been transformed for the better. My life is certainly very different now, and I certainly don't regret adopting AD.

I was 44 when I applied and 45 when my AD arrived. She was nearly 5 years old. I was accepted even though I initially said I would not cut down my hours but when I started reading up and going on training realised I needed to cut my hours down. I have found it gets harder to manage childcare as my daughter has got older as it's difficult to find suitable daytime care for over 12s and she will not be left in the house on her own. Since I started working school hours only she has been much less anxious as she needs that one to one time.

PS Happy Birthday for tomorrow

Oh thank you so much all of you for taking the time to send me such detailed and informative responses. Well done to you both on your successes. It is great to hear that you have no regrets. You have both kind of confirmed my suspicions though about work. I have a really good job, which would enable me to provide financially, but it isn't the sort of job I could do part time, not even sure how I would be able to do anything like take the 9 months off adoption leave etc. Also, am still worried about age. If I am just turning 48 now and haven't even started the process, then god knows what age I would be when I was matched (if I was successful). Obviously I appreciate it would need to be a school age child but I still think am I too old now? I guess I need to contact an agency and speak to them? I feel that I would regret it if I didn't do at least that. Gosh I wish I had done this a few years ago Thanks again so much for your replies, they have been extremely helpful Thanks x

Hevenscent - I x posted with you. Thanks for you helpful reply and for the birthday wishes! xx

no I don't think you are too old. About work, if you really want to do this then make changes. Thats what I did. I used to have a job that I really loved, it involved travelling, not far in the grand scheme of things, but being at the other side of the region for an 8.30 start wasnt going to work with getting a child to school. Also very occasional overnights and if we had a big event on weeks of early starts and very late finishes, a few weekends. Statutory adoption pay only, I would have struggled to take 6 months adoption leave. Just not workable. I now have a job which I can do, flexible working, more or less fixed hours, no weekends or bank holidays. Its not very interesting, I'm a bit bored to be honest but I can hack it for three days a week. I wanted to be a mum more than have the interesting job. Parenthood, adoptive or otherwise, is about compromise, being resourceful, looking for solutions. So I will leave you with a question to ponder on your birthday. What do you want more - to be a mum or to keep the job? What could you do to make it work? Happy Birthday !

will pm you

I was about 48 when we started the process, hubby was 50 Eldest (10) came 2 years later and youngest ( almost seven at placement) came to is when we were 52 and 54 It's not too late , and some do have younger children placed with them, but you need to start soon and leave your choices as open as you feel you can manage.

My husband and i adopted our 3 yr old foster child last year. We are 52 and 53 . Obviously a bit different but he was placed at ll months and the arrangement was always that we would adopt him if he was given a placement order at the end of care proceedings. So you are not too old but have no time to waste either i would say.

I am a single lady (I'm not Beyonce) clinging onto my 40s! Am just in the process of doing foster to adopt with my second child so it is possible. The main thing is how badly you want to be a mum/parent. That was what drove me and whilst I constantly worry about my age, that is the one thing I can't do anything about but I can control the rest of it so, if you really want to be a mum then don't let your age stop you. I think that we worry about our age more than anyone else does. Go for it! Good luck x

I just want to say thank you all so much for replying. All of your messages have been very useful and given me lots to think about I have researched my local area and am actually going to attend an info evening on the 19th! I may well come back here after that for more advice if you don't mind Thanks x

Good luck. It was a long time ago now, but I took a friend with me. It's a lot to take in and they didn't mince their words about the issues children have and the problems you may face as a single adopter. It was useful to have someone to talk it through with afterwards. If you have chance, it's worth reading around a bit beforehand.

You'll need to prove that you have a good support network in the here and now but you should also be able to prove how well you can drum up support when the child comes along. You'll fid that everything changes and you'll need to move on quickly if some people don't step up. You'll almost certainly have a child with SEND. I found Contact a Family a fantastic support service, they are now called Contact.

Hi Cawley, I am in the same position as you as I am 45 and only joined the forum on Sunday to 'dip my toe in the water.' I have to agree that you have had some fantastic and positive responses and everyone wants the best for each other but being honest about what to expect. I am going to my first meeting with LA (the only acronym I've learned) in Jan '18 so I will start the year with a new purpose. I hope it works out well for us both and I look forward to reading about how you are getting on.

My best friend has adopted sibling girls this year aged 52 and she is a full time primary headteacher. She has taken parental leave for this year but is planning to work 4 days after Xmas. The girls came to her aged 5 and 7. She has a large extended family who are very supportive. A few months in she is happy and learning quickly how to manage her time and their needs. After school club and lots of activities seem to help a great deal. She has had a good summer school break and feels ok about starting back to work. She shares experiences with me because we adopted 14 yrs ago, one girl aged 5 but seems to be managing well so far. She was aware of potential difficulties as one of her sisters had adopted sibling girls a number of years ago so she was not naive. Good luck on your journey!

Hi all. Just joined forum and my questions were almost similar to above. I didn't make it through stage 1 and am hoping to reapply and go back through. I am a headteacher and hope to return to work 4 days a week. My child would need to go into childcare from 7.30 to about 5.30 4 days a week. Is this too much and how do you all manage financially. I have no immediate family so my friends are my support network. I am currently 46. Thanks in advance. Xxx

Hi feebeegeebee, can I ask what feedback you received about not making it through stage 1 and what changes you had to make (if any)? thank you