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Our LA were very clear that AC had to be youngest, and by at least 2 years. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear-maybe others have different experiences

Sorry should have also said our BD had be be 3 before we could apply.

And you must be bonkers if your youngest is 9 months! I could barely brush my hair at that stage.

I think it would be unlikely that they would proceed with you. They will wonder why you want to adopt when you already have two BC. It would look as if you were trying to fill the gap, so to speak.I know some adopters have adopted and then gone on to have a BC afterwards, but in most of these cases the BC was a surprise child and was not planned. I'm sure others will come along and give you better advice than I have.

Our (now) 8 year old has been with us 8 months and she demands CONSTANT attention. I can't breath without her wanting to know what I'm doing. Our BD had already left home when we got LO and is fully supportive of the adoption but even she feels put out if she phones and I can't talk because I'm doing something with LO. There are real success stories on here of adopters with young birth children and younger adopted children but I think you are under-estimating the demands these little ones have. I agree with Tuesdays Girl. Enjoy your daughters and make the most of little one's babyhood. XX

our LA have a strict rule that AC must be the youngest - this follows the natual order of new arrivals into a family and so assists in the natural hierarchy of the children within the family, ie a new adopted child cant then walk in saying I am older than you so I get to say, etc. It would also work to the assumption that the younger the child the more parental attention and time they need. Should you be matched with a 5-6 year old you would be expecetd to be at home for the first year (you probably would anyway with your LO) but specifically so you can dedicate your time extensively to settling a child who has suffered massive trauma and loss. How could you do that with such a small and younger child who wont be at school for years yet. It woudl be almost impossible to prioritise your time for teh benefit of either child. I dont think any authority would even slightly consider placing such an age child with you when you have a tiny one who would need as much attention or even more than an AC. I dont think you can appreciate that what you are contemplating could well cripple you.I am sure I have read of some here who have adopted older children than theirs but I think their BC would be of school age so at least allow time while they are at school for paretns to settl eAC, or maybe AC had very specific medical needs that these parents uniquely can cope with/have experience with etc.Our LA insisted that there was a minimum age gap of 2 years between our youngest (only) child and any adopted child, where AC is always youngest.I m sorry this isnt what you want to hear but set aside what LA or VA say, I think this would be highly risky and potentially destructive thing to think about for your family and for the well being of an already affected child.sorry :-)

What everyone else has said. I would really question why you're so specific about wanting a 5/6 year old boy. It does rather look as if you're trying to fill the sge gap and the gender gap.

In some ways I can see that it is admirable to be thinking of adopting a school aged child, as even by the age of 5 or 6 children can be hard to place. But as others have said it is very very rare - pretty much unheard of - for a child to be placed who is older than a child in the home.I have some friends who are foster carers with school aged children and they were told a placed child (who will be a temporary addition to the home - they are not long term FCs) must be older OR younger than their two. True to form, they've had a teenager and a baby so far! So even in that case never one between the two in age.I have also heard of families where two (biological) siblings were placed but they moved in separately. I think I have heard of cases where the youngest moved in first but don't quote me on that. So I think you couldn't say NEVER EVER is an older child moved in after a younger child but that's a very special case.

Hello welcomeEver so pleased you're interested in the planet adoption but as the others explained its very different to planet birth children.Think all the agencies will be saying wait at least 3 years before applying and then it will almost certainly be for a younger child.The dynamics of families made by adoption are really topsy turvy and the point of adoption is giving specialist parenting to a child who hurtsIt's not another way of having a child, I'm sorry but it reads like someone has told you that for whatever reason you couldn't have a baby in the 8 yrs between your bc and so you could 'adopt one' and there are lots of older children waiting. This is just not right information and I'm sorry to read you've been lead up the garden path rather.Adoption is wonderfulReally it is but it's very hard indeed and you will need to re think your whole life around it.All the best for the futurePear tree

I was tempted to answer the question with'nil'well it is late so I thought I'd be brief But you have had some good replies. We have 3 birth children and the gap between youngest birth child and adopted child is 5 years and as I have said many times on here, I wouldn't want a smaller gap than that.Adoption is really very different from what you imagine it will be like and thats for the parents. I think it can be very hard on birth children.I too wish you the very best for your future.

hi..i am a great believer that you may be able to help/love a child but you have to understand exactly how hard adoption is. as others have said any child who has experienced trauma will need alot of love and understanding, time and patience. if you are really, really understanding and willing to forgoe the precious time with your baby then perhaps you should consider fostering with a view to a long term placement which could end in adoption. i would urge you to make sure you research, discuss and fully prepare yourself for what your life may become.....it definetly will change all the dynamics for your children.