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I think you'll find earlybird really helpful. I know I did. Talking things through can help but far better for us would be a visual timetable of what was going to happen. We use a scheduler provided by our earlybird trainer. I Google and and print pictures of a sequence of events and when each has finished it goes in the finish box. But you can't always plan for and anticipate every little thing. Hindsight is wonderful but life would be impossible if you had to do a visual of everything. And sometimes learning that making that small change didn't cause sny harm can actually help them become more resilient. Good luck x

Ah, bless poor little Kipper. I hope he is feeling better now.I've also done the Earlybird course and found it brilliant - as much for the meeting with other parents as for the content. I have also found the one day courses from our local AS very useful.I think washie is the exception to the rule, and he very much rebels against visual schedules and timetables! The thing that has really turned things around for me and washiewoo is my display of calm empathy. So I say to him that I can see how upset x has made him and wish I could make it better.I'd say that things do get easier as your child grows because you become more aware of triggers - you are now aware that something as seemingly unconcerning to you is a big worry for Kipper, and will be more able to think ahead to avoid such incidents. You won't always tho' and you can make the most of this by later talking thru' it with him and changig it in a success for him, eg, "Remember when the electrician came and changed your light switch and you were really upset? How do you feel about the change now that you've seen the fire engine has stayed on, and your light still goes on and off? I'm really proud of you for getting used to this change."HTH

Thank you both.So far, attempts at visual scheduling etc have not been very successful, partly because he will barely sit still to see what I am trying to show him, and partly because he is so massively controlling thatninstead of listening he takes over and turns it into his own project. I have to be honest I haven't done it very cohernetly, or printed stuff off, just done little sketches of whats going to happen. I guess he may be betternif i can show him instant pictures.We have had an awful week. He been so oppositional and defiant its been almost unmanageable, either totally ignoring me or exploding at the least thing and my confidence has hit rock bottom. Don't know if its the aspergers or toddler stuff or what.Worried that he doesn't seem happy, too.Anyway, thanks for your suggestions and for knowing what I mean.

Hi there,Take a bit of time to prepare some photos and laminate them- people and places that are routine- even a photo of getting dressed etc- sequence the day with your camera- and photos of toys and activities- meals and food- it will take some effort but will pay off massively and kipper can handle and manage the photos initially. If you can do them A5 size- even better- then once he is familiar with them go for the visual timetable- before bed or at a good time- put out sequence for morning - then afternoon etc. And stick to it- he will trust it in time and it will calm him. Find some strips of sticky Velcro and a wall!!!!!! Laminate a ? For any uncertainties but don't introduce that until he is reliant on the process.Photograph all key events and people!Objects of reference are another way in- a box of actual things associated with activities- so swimming trunks for swimming and spoon for breakfast etc!Get some boxes and put them in- alongside photos this can super reinforce! It is time consuming initially- but well worth it. You sound like you're doing well but it's exhausting- keep it simple and so basic when things are hard- also ask for referral to your local asd outreach teacher or something via the team that diagnosed- no point getting a diagnosis with no support!!!!!X

A good friend has a son with ASD and she also works in a related area. She's not convinced that visual timetables are the answer as children who have ASD often struggle with symbols and the pictures used are often massively symbolic! Sorry not to be more helpful...

Visual stuff also not much help here, though I didn't do it when they were small.Empathy (as per Mumma's post) is what works best here, after the event.I just wondered if his upset could in part be due to the electrician in the house?Is he on Easter Hols from nursery? Mine are much more volatile in the holidays.

Re thespouses post - I was advised by the AS outreach worker to experiment with washie to find which style of visual aid he needed, ie, try photos, cartoon pictures, black and white symbols etc. Unfortunately, none seemed to help, but I do name our list of things on my fingers, eg, when going out I'll say:1) Get in car2) Drive to library and chose books3) Cross road to post office4) Get back in car5) Drive homeThen as we go about our business we visually/mentally cross them off and count down.HTH

Thanks all.Mummamoo thats pretty much what I do, though it varies how much detail I give him.Think I need to get my printer fixed so I can experiment with some pictures....and need to find time too, he is very demanding of attention still, rarely plays alone for more than about 40 minutes, and doesn't yet go to nursery.Is the controlling issue part of the Aspergers do you think? He has been controlling since about 20 momths, but recently its been epic. On bad days he has to try and stage manage every slight thing that we do for him or with him.

Sockthing, wait until you start the Earlybird course because they may well have a session for making visual schedules. We did and we had access to ready printed pictures, a laminator, card and velcro, etc. all for nothingAlso, it might help Kipper if you dripfeed the idea of change being a good thing sometimes. Now is a great time of year for this. Things like looking at how flowers/trees are changing, looking at photos of you and him, playing with playdough and making the shapes change, cooking, painting and making the colours change. Also predicting and planning changes while playing,eg, make a brick tower the same as Kippers then tell him you are going to make yours different by putting a large brick on top, and then when it falls down, exclaiming with a laugh "Oh no, now it's really different!"Hopefully you can build up his resilience to change