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Too young to pluck eyebrows and shave legs?

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Papergirl July 25, 2013 21:09
My soon to be 12-year-old is getting increasingly self-conscious about her eyebrows, and wants to start plucking them. Although she is blonde, her eyebrows are quite thick and dark. I''m just conscious that once she starts, she will have to keep it up for the best of her life. I am totally inept with a pair of tweezers, so go to a beautician once a month or so to have my own eyebrows shaped, but I was probably in my mid 20s before I started.She also wants to start shaving her legs. The hair on her legs is blonde though and not too noticable.Is 12 too young for both shaping eyebrows and shaving legs? Or these days, is it common for girls to start beautifying themselves at that age?Thanks!Papergirl
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twoplustwo July 25, 2013 22:23
I don't think 12 is too young.
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Shortbread July 25, 2013 22:45
I think the reality is that puberty hits children much earlier now, and they do often feel self-conscious about their appearance. My niece had her eyebrows waxed and legs shaved from the age of 12, it coincided with her starting high school. She is a very pretty girl, she has thick eye brows and dark hairs on her legs, she was becoming self-conscious about herself and had been asking for support with grooming. Her Mum arranges maintenance appts. at the beauticians.
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aprilshowers July 25, 2013 23:10
They start young these days but you can use this time for mother/daughter bonding...now I am no go to the hairdresser/beauty parlour type of person, but I did/do take my girl to the eyebrow threading place, I do buy them disposable razors and we often have a face pack evening. Mine are now 16 and 15 but we did start this sort of stuff when they were around 12 ish...my youngest daughter actually started her periods at just 10, and unfortunately with the period the hariness started.
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Littlemisscheerful July 26, 2013 10:36
My DD was 11 when I started doing her armpits. I shave my legs, and have told her once she starts, she needs to keep going. Her leg hairs are blond though. She's nearly 13 and is fine with them at the moment.I wouldn't do her eyebrows yet (but I don't care much about that sort of thing).
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caledonia July 26, 2013 12:44
HiMy DD is 11 and I have been waxing her underarms for about 6 months. Her legs are getting to stage that they need attention and so are her eyebrows and I will start taking her to a salon for that.On another note, and sorry to hijack, but DD has been hairy for six months or so but no sign of periods yet - has anyone any idea when they might start as I thought they came before the hair. I am so old I can't remember what happened with methanksCaleX
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Pear Tree July 26, 2013 14:25
I'd say 12 is about right age wise, We got blossom a lady shaver from superdrug
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Papergirl July 26, 2013 19:49
Thanks, folks, for all your thoughts.Caledonia, I think it's supposed to be boobs start developing, pubic hair appears, underarm hair appears, periods start, in that order. But the start of periods is also linked to weight - a girl usually has to be seven stone-ish, I believe.Oldest Paperdoll is still very short, and no sign of underarm hair or periods here yet, but she is definitely developing and getting more curvy by the day now...
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Littlemisscheerful July 26, 2013 21:12
Both my girls were boobs first. The body book I read with my ED said everyone's different as to what happens in what order.Both mine started periods at under 7 stone (more like 6 - I think it must be an old wives tale).
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pluto July 26, 2013 21:16
Hair does not grow thicker back or in another colour after you shave or remove it another way. That it feels stubbly is because the hairs are cut off square, ones they fall out you get the same soft ones back, or maybe less soft ones you pass 40 or so.Hair removal is a choice!
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Vicky Vixen July 29, 2013 14:04
My daughter got boobs first and then pubic hair and then her periods (when she was 13) - but no sign of underarm hair as yet!She has yet to shave her legs etc but her best friend is very conscious of eyebrow shaping etc so I'm sure it is only a matter of time!
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thespouses July 29, 2013 17:05
I would go against the grain here it seems and say it's FAR too young.I think it's a huge issue and the whole "you are too hairy" idea is coming younger and younger and is linked to the "you must have perfect skin" and also slightly to the idea that girls and women must look like very young girls and be really hairless. And I bet it's much more prominent in girls with low self-esteem as some adoptees will have.Can you talk to her about the whole air-brushing issue and what real people look like, looking at people in the street who look fabulous but have dark eyebrows?I would suggest on the legs issue that perhaps you say when it's darker hair, she can think about bleaching it instead of shaving it.The difference in the age of puberty is NOT very great between now and the 1980s when I was a teenager and yet there is SO much more pressure to look "perfect" at a younger age now.
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Flosskirk July 29, 2013 17:08
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2380404/Experts-warn-pressure-conform-lead-generation-clones-obsessed-looks.htmlThis is a precis of a much better article in the times on Saturday but anyway, both are saying the same thing - that teenage girls are all following the same trend, wearing lots of make-up, obsessed with hair removal and particularly focusing on their eyes and eyebrows.Yep, that's my 14 year old..........
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Taliesin July 29, 2013 17:42
I'm in my 40's but was about 12 (nearly 13) when I first started shaving legs....after teased by a boy in school who noticed a dark fuzz emerging above my white socks........and tbh I was probably one of the last ones in my year to start doing so.I think it all comes down to improving your own confidence at that age, as much as anything.I did start plucking my eyebrows - but that was only beause my friend was 'practicing' her beauty tricks and shaved half of my right brow off.....was about 14 then though & never quite forgave her....still grows odd now !!So, even at my very strict Catholic school, it was 'normal' even in the 80's for girls to start shaving.......and I'm sorry to say the ones who didnt't were usually teased.
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Flosskirk July 29, 2013 17:50
Sorry, thespouses, I posted my article and didn't see your post.The thing is that young girls ARE doing this and what parents like me are then having to do is to set limits on what they are allowed to do while at the same time keeping an eye on their self esteem and need to conform.It is not as simple IMO to talk to teens about the underlying issues (cosmetic companies, marketing, advertising, TOWIE) and expect them to see that it's all a big fraud and that they should stay natural. Teens want to conform. They want friends. They want to do what the others are doing.I do actually think that 12 sounds young if you don't have tweenie aged girls yourself. But seriously, it is what they are doing.12 year olds are going to be at, or going to, secondary school, so I do think that's the time to start acting a bit older - I certainly wouldn't want a primary aged girl doing this myself. But they are.........
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Littlemisscheerful July 29, 2013 21:26
With my dd, I also want them to look like regular teenagers. Hairy armpits just doesn't look good. If mine had dark hair, I think I would be encouraging them to shave legs etc even though she's only 12. Luckily, they're both fair so that's one thing we haven't got to worry about.Having said that, they both are very big chested, and from a body shape look much older than 11 & 12 which brings other challenges.
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FehrScaper July 30, 2013 16:02
I thought it was too young when my dd started wanting to do this at age 11. I resisted her - until she was very badly bullied at school for having hairy legs! She couldn't hide them - they wear shorts for PE!She is also blond and you can barely see the hairs, but the other girls all noticed...So she shaved and plucked, and the bullying stopped. I wasn't happy at her age, but realise now that it's not too young - if she is being bothered by it (either peer pressure or simply because she hates being hairy).
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Larsti August 1, 2013 18:28
In answer to Papergirl's original question, I would say yes to the eyebrows and no to the legs.As a child I had what's now known I think as a unibrow (or monobrow?) My Mum wouldn't let me pluck my eyebrows until I was about 14 (and I was a very compliant girl!) so I grew up feeling that I was ugly. I had very dark hair and bushy eyebrows.I would take your DD to a salon Papergirl to have the eyebrows done and discourage her from doing anything herself. Perhaps they can just tidy them up a bit and not do anything too drastic.
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lazygirl August 2, 2013 09:21
Wow I must admit I'm quite shocked that 12 year olds are into all this. It's a balance between not wanting them to be different and trying to get them to realise they DON'T have to conform. DD 9 suffers from low self esteem and would do anything to be seen as one of the gang. I must admit we are fairly tough when it comes to not giving in to certain things like buying them every latest ipad/ pod/ phone that all their mates have.Where does it end - what about dieting? Surely that's next. I'm currently struggling with the ear piercing (which a lot of her friends have had done already)I think I had my ears pierced / started shaving around 15 / 16. What a sad state of affairs when children can't be children!
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tsmum August 2, 2013 11:12
Buy her a cheap battery operated razor, they are good especially if the hairs on her legs aren't too obvious. I would take her to get her eyebrows done. Things have changed from our day(!!) and eyebrows are the thing. They do change your face a lot. If you let her at them with tweezers she could ruin what could be her best asset. Think of those people with hair thick eyebrows who must regret plucking them to that every day. You wouldn't have to take her all the time but if they got the shape right and told her to only pluck from the underneath and never from the top she should be able to keep them in that shape. I can remember being about that age and it used to hurt, but you put up with things at that age. Now I've been doing it so long it doesn't hurt.
Edited 17/02/2021
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