I'm interested to know how other adopters feel abut the term 'adoption' when it is used by animal charities and sanctuaries. For me it is deeply offensive and is an improper use of a word which means so much more than paying a monthly amount to support a goat or a hedgehog. Whilst supporting animals is important, and we have always rescued cats rather than bought kittens from breeders, equating what we do as adopters with what these organisations do is completely wrong in my opinion. I'm very keen to see a change in how this word is used and although I recognise it is used widely within animal charities, I am determined to start a conversation and to encourage their use of the word 'sponsor' or 'support' and leave to those who really do adopt, sole use of that important, life-changing word. Let me know through this forum what you think or if you have been affected by the misuse of the word. Thank you.
Use of the term 'adoption' by animal charites
Hi Lulu,
You might want to change your username as this is a public forum and you don't know who is reading!
I do agree with you and have never liked the use of the word "adoption' in this context, much preferring the word "sponsor", I think it gives the impression that in adoption the "thing" never really belongs to the person that is "adopting" it and thus undermines the idea of permanency. But then I do think that this is how adoption social workers also view adoption as well. Adopters are always "forced" to keep up with contact with birth parents even when the adopters don't think it is in the child's best interests. It is almost as if we are not "allowed" to act in our child's best interest because the child is not really "ours' and still belongs to the "birth parents". Also i have seen, on these boards, how once an adoptee is 18 social workers go behind the backs of adoptive parents and 'reunite" the child with the birth parents. It is almost as if all we are nothing more than foster carers and are certainly not seen as the child's "real parents" and so our views are not relevant.
Just my view anyway!xx
For me, it’s a minor irritation, no more. Too many other things to be annoyed at tbh. In NVR terms, it’s a big basket issue for me
Even though I find it very annoying and wrong, it also is a big basket issue for me.
I like that they use the word adoption when you bring home an animal and bring them into your family for life.
But you're right, using 'adopt an...' to mean paying a little towards their care is misleading and should be called 'sponsor' instead.
@Donatella, I’ve not (yet) done any NVR training, but I love the term ‘big basket issue’! So true when you’re exhausted and ground down by the realities of living with trauma-experienced children and young people and don’t have a single atom of energy left to expend on any external matters. @Lulu, it’s not because we don’t care but because we have invested so much over the years in fighting for the right support/education/therapies/funding etc for our children, that we’re all a bit done in! Or maybe that’s just me?
For me, I would wonder what conversations it might prompt with my children and whether those would be helpful.
That said, we recently "adopted" two more rescue cats and the well-meaning-but-terribly-worded contract from the animal rescue came with lots of clauses saying that the cats "remained the property of the animal rescue for their entire lives" and that managed to press all my buttons just because....adoption. (They meant well and are trying to protect cats from bad owners who abuse them).
Anyway, my kids love playing Roblox and I was alarmed recently that there are "adoption" games in it. Upon further conversation, it seems fairly harmless and they didn't relate it to their own adoptions...so I'm vigilant where the language or concept comes up in a way that my children might get messages from it, but otherwise not so much.
Going to Google "big basket" issue!
Hi Lulu
A reply from our one of our adopted teenagers.
"Everyone is different. Last year we adopted our fourth cat. I like that he is adopted, he now has a forever home. I respect that some adopted people might not like the word adoption used for animals, but I don't mind. I think it shows you care about everyone, people and animals."
I thought this was a very interesting reaction to your message. It reminds us all as adoptive parents that every adopted child is an individual and that each child will have a different perspective on their complicated and ever changing adoption journey.
Take care
Simon x
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