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Meeting with child's social worker

Izzy May 30, 2019 23:08

So we have a meeting with a child's social worker next week - they are coming round to the house to meet us - could anyone give us some advice on what to expect, what they are going to want to see/know etc?

Edited 17/02/2021
Serrakunda27 May 31, 2019 12:34

They will want to have alook round the house, particularly the room intended for the child.

They want to get to know you to see if you are a fit for their child - can you explain why you are interested in this child, that you have understood their needs, how you plan to meet their needs, support network, plans for work, childcare, back up plans if one of you can't return to work.

This is also your chance to make certain that this is the right child for you - ask questions that bring the child to life for you, get underneath whats written in the CPR

good luck

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chestnuttree May 31, 2019 15:53

It seems to vary a lot. In our case they came to see us and the flat and to talk about the children. However, even then it was very clear that they were keen on us (I think they had received a lot of information on us in advance). They asked hardly any questions and told us heaps about our children. They also brought a DVD and beautiful pictures. We all got on really well and things went very smoothly.

However, I have heard from others that they felt the children's social worker was trying to fit a second homestudy into the first visit. They were placed with the child, but it was not an easy meeting.

I guess a lot depends on if you are the only ones interested in the child or if there is competition and if the social worker is happy with the amount of information they have on you.

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Izzy May 31, 2019 16:43

Thank you both for replying, the childs social worker is the one who initiated contact and according to our social worker is very interested in us so I'm not sure what to expect.

What is the second home study out of interest?

We do have questions we want to ask regarding the childs CPR as there were a lot of contradictions in there regarding BP DOB, what date he went into FC etc, and mentions of tests but then no outcome.

I'm going to go on a mad cleaning frenzy this weekend I think...

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Serrakunda27 May 31, 2019 18:11

I don't think chestnutree meant literally a second home study, more that the SW visit was so 'thorough' thats what it felt like

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Izzy May 31, 2019 18:14

Haha ahhh I see! Thanks for clarifying.

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chestnuttree May 31, 2019 22:30

Thanks Serrakunda and good luck Izzy!

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GK1309 May 31, 2019 23:19

Hey, congrats on being matched that is such fab news. We had our childs social worker and family finder visit us two weeks ago, so I can tell you what happened for us.

Please keep in mind that every council is different and what I have learnt is that they ask different questions depending on the age of your child. How old is your child?

Our social worker came to our house an hour or so before they were due to arrive just to go over our questions on anything we wanted to discuss, the questions we wanted to ask our childs SW and FF were basically to have the latest update on our child which luckily she had all written down for us. She had spoken to the FC the day before and had pictures from that day and a video (it melted my heart) also updated us on her progress etc. They asked us a few questions from our PAR which was totally fine as it was questions we could easily answer. They asked how we felt we could meet the childs needs etc, just basic questions that you should have discussed many times with your social worker, they asked about different things we plan to do with her (social groups) I specifically mentioned about attending groups that were set up just for adopted children which they seem to like the idea of. The group itself is REALLY good, not only for the child but for us as parents as you are meeting people who have been on this journey too. Highly recommend those groups, I found them very benefical. They looked at our garden and around our house seeing which room the child would be staying in and about the area we live in. The visit wasn't scary at all and actually ended up being quite enjoyable, full of laughter.

We all asked and answered each others questions and once it was over we all felt very positive, the next week we had confirmation that they were happy with the match (has to be approved by their managers) and today we actually got the dates for our introductions and matching panel date (dances on the spot) I think just be yourselves and if you are unsure on anything ask your SW before hand. Good luck with the day and I am sure they will love you and your home, one thing I always seem to forget is they are not looking for perfection they just want to know you can give a child a loving and stable home. xx

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Izzy May 31, 2019 23:37

Thanks Chestnuttree!

Hi GK1309, thanks so much for the reply. Congratulations yourself on being approved, that's fantastic news!

We have a 6.5 year old daughter already and the child we're hoping to match with has just turned 3. We're trying not to get too invested just in case SW decides we're not right for him, but it's hard. I'll have a look into groups for adopted children, I want to ask our social worker if there is any way of finding out if there are any families local to us willing to get together - I know there are some adopted children in my daughters school.

iWow - It moved really quickly, then, from meeting to having a panel date! When is the panel if you don't mind me asking? xx

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GK1309 June 1, 2019 00:45

Hello, not to worry at all. You are the first person to ever reply to me, everyone seems to want answers on here but lack on the replies and thank yous haha.

Thank you for the congrats we are so excited, it feels like I have held back the excitment for so long as like you said you don't want to get ahead of yourself in case it doesn't work out. Oooo 3 is a lovely age and I am sure will be a great sibling to for the child you already have, have you not been on any adoption groups as part of your journey so far? we had to go to one and have a report written up about it as part of our report. That is a good idea to meet with other people if you can and don't forget you can use Link maker as well as it has a section on here where people show their profile and request play dates etc and you can see how far away from you they are.

It was a week from the home visit to getting an answer, then two (long) weeks waiting to get these dates. I know the council our child is with is SO busy and has so few social workers to the amount of children they have in the system.

I did read somewhere on here before about it being a good idea to know your local nursuries/playgroups in case they ask for furure plans with your little one but again speak to your SW they will have a better idea than me. Our panel date is 15th July eeek, exciting but I will still have butterflies, as our child does not live near us we have a bit of travelling to do but that is fine whats a bit of travelling when you have come this far.

Best of luck with it, id love to know how you get on :-) xx

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Izzy June 1, 2019 09:47

Really? I'd have to reply at least to say thanks, although this is my first post on here!

We did the 4 day course and we've been on therapeutic parenting so we have done those groups. We know of a few nurseries, but only moved to the area 5 years ago and our daughter was already settled in a nursery near my work so we kept her there. Our friends daughter has just started nursery though so I know which ones they visited and why they chose the one they did (it sounds awsome!)

Wow, that's not far off at all! Do you know when meetings etc will start for you? Will you be meeting FC and doctors at any point? Sorry for the many questions just trying to figure out how it all might go.

Thank you again for all the info xx

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GK1309 June 1, 2019 14:56

I know I would have to say thanks also, glad you have done quite a few groups. Thats good about the nurseries, they may not ask but least if they do you have answers and wont be sat there looking blankly at them haha.

Our first meeting is in just over a weeks time, we will meet the FC, FF and get a sighting of our hopefully soon to be AD. We are having our appointment with the medical advisor over the phone, they said it doesnt make any difference doing it in person or over the phone you are still allocated the same amount of time. It works out better for us, in case they cancel and want to move it so we haven't made a 3 plus hour journey for nothing. We then have to go back for matching panel, it is the same as before like with the panel that decides if you can adopt or not we have to wait to get the ratification back which is usually around 2 weeks. Then at that point we can go up there and start our process of visiting the foster carer everyday and doing all of her daily needs before she is then brought down to live with us.

Also when you receive your letter about your matching panel date, that is when you can show it to your work and that will be your four weeks notice to leave that you legally have to give. I can't bloody wait for that bit haha. I don't mind you asking questions I am usually so private but it is nice to finally share things and as we are all in the same boat it is nice to vent and share our frustrations or even a question or two. xx

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Izzy June 1, 2019 17:43

Thank you for being so open and answering my questions, it would be lovely to keep in touch, especially if our meeting goes well!

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GK1309 June 1, 2019 19:16

No worries at all, I have luckily made a couple of adoption friends from our group sessions but it really is surprising how many people say they want to keep in touch and help each other out and then literally nothing comes of it which I find annoying. But O well, I will take my few quality friends over quantity. Keeping in touch sounds great if you click on my profile there is a link where you can private chat just to me, so feel free to do that any time. I would love a chat or moan anytime, really wish you good luck with your visit, I am sure you will sail through xx

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Gilreth June 1, 2019 19:53

We had a stupidly quick progression from link to placement - officially linked on 27th Aug, matching panel 30th Sept & Sqk moved in on 19th Oct.... ok nearly 6 years ago. Was done fast to avoid respite care delaying things. As to what was in our SW visit - it was long but interesting. Our SW came about an hour before Sqk’s did and went through a lot of the potential questions with us. Then we spent over 2 hrs discussing things. Just re-read my blog about the visit to remind me.

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Izzy June 1, 2019 20:04

Thanks Gilreth, I'll have a look at your blog!

That seems so quick, we've got so much to do, assuming this meeting goes well...

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Izzy June 1, 2019 20:06

GK I've just tried to chat but apparently I need an adoption UK membership to do that and we don't have one as of yet ?

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Bop June 1, 2019 20:33

Yes, chat is just open to AUK members - verified users can reply - unverified users can't do anything.

One option is to set up a free email account in your username and post the address on here so you can chat with other users if you want to, but keep yourself safe until you are ready to share further details (via the email).

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Izzy June 1, 2019 20:45

Thanks Bop, good idea, I'll try that ?

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GK1309 June 1, 2019 21:00

Hello, that is very strange for you to be a full UK adopter and not be able to see the same things I can. Your social worker should have updated your account for you. I am a little confused.

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