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I never had the slightest mental health issue before adopting but since then I have experienced acute spells of anxiety, entirely adoption related. If you read these boards you will come across many cases of adoptive parents who have had to be treated for depression, despite never having suffered from this pre-placement. (I count myself lucky that I have never become depressed, frankly.) In other words, the stress of adoption, which as others have said can be acute, can actually CAUSE mental health difficulties in the formerly unaffected. If you start off with a mental health diagnosis, then that is a bit of a red flag. To answer your question, many of us have benefitted from counselling and/or CBT. Others recommend "mindfulness". There are online resources, but a face to face counsellor for 18 months saved my bacon during a particularly stressful time. You will need to carve out just a little bit of "me" time, and a supportive husband will be very helpful. If I were you, I would put into effect NOW routines and remedies that will help to minimise your mental health issues.

Hi there, I agree that it is very difficult to be an unavailable parent to an adopted child - even if you have great reasons for disappearing here and there, they often can't cope with it. If you do need this level of dipping out, I guess your other half would have to be able to at the very least pick up where you leave off, but even more than that, might have to be the primary carer. Like the others have said, these kids can have quite dodgy attachments, leaving them very anxious around the availability of their care givers. I remember when we first adopted, I couldn't even go to the loo without my elder daughter trying to come too. I went for a bath one day and she was having a nap so I thought I could do it. The bathroom was right next to her bedroom and her sister was in the same room as her also having a nap. But she woke up (she was 3) and when she realised she was trapped behind the stair gate (which I had put across the door to her room just in case she woke up), she just did a poo on the floor to get me to come! This is the sort of behaviour you might have to deal with, in which case you would not really be able to have all your naps etc. My daughter's behaviour was so full on all the time - it is very difficult to explain just how controlled I felt. It is good that you are considering how you would cope at the moment. You might be better considering an older child who is at least at school so you can get your breaks in.

Just to give you some idea of what sort of things an adoptive parent has to put up with. Our two followed me everywhere for months. That included into the loo or having a bath I certainly couldn't lock the door and have any me time. Our two screamed if I wasn't there, they caused mayhem, wouldn't go to sleep on their own, won't dress them selves even when old enough to do so. Trying to go out even to the local park or shopping was almost impossible - running off into the road, laying down on the road refusing to move, climbing out of the trolley, picking up anything with in reach. The thing about looking after children like ours is that it is constant, it never stops even if your partner can give you a break having a nap in the daytime I have never been able to do, my children have little empathy or idea about a parent being ill. I'm a fairly robust person who has managed large depts. in blue chip companies. But when 5 years in I eventually crumbled and could no longer cope with the stress and had to go on anti depressants, have counselling and have seriously considered section 20 for one of our children (taken into care). We have struggled on and a lot has changed some for the good but some things have got worse. One other thing to think about is that many of these children come from environments where their parent may well have undiagnosed mental health problems themselves and the children may actually turn out to have inherited these illnesses. Many of these children are said to be suffering from attachment disorder and or sever trauma. This may well be true but it often masks other mental health issues which are not apparent until they are a bit older. How would you cope with that?

Lots of people with disabilities adopt, but you have to work it out as to how you will cope. One thing you might want to think about is the age of the child you want to adopt. If you want a preschooler you can pretty much forget sleep. My son is 10, I work part time. My 'me time' is when I'm at work, an hour of cubs on a Monday, 90 minutes of woodcraft folk on Wednesdays, unless it's my turn to help, 30 minutes swimming lesson, weekends and school holidays, 0 time. I don't work Fridays so I usually manage to grab a few hours at the gym and lunch now and again with a parents group. So if you aren't going to be working and you have a school age child you might manage some time. Support is tricky, I'd say I have great support, I've only lost one friend along the way. But being practical, my friends all have jobs and children themselves. Yes if I fell over and broke a leg they would be there, but day to day, I go it alone. You say you cope well with most stressful situations at the moment, but as others have pointed out adopting can be a cause of mental health issues in itself, and it's stressful and then some more, all the time, no let up, because being a parent to any child is, let alone the added difficulties of adopted children. I think it's absolutely right you are questioning your ability to cope at this stage, but you may have to be very honest with yourself, or maybe even wait a few years until you are in better health.