Edited 17/02/2021
Would like studies on everything adoption relevant- help?!
Cable
October 1, 2013 10:37
Hello, We're just working our way through stage 1, and would like to find more information to help us work out which potential issues we could manage with a child. That sounds pretty awful, but as background, we already have two birth children, aged 6 and 4, so obviously we're looking to adopt one (maybe two) very little ones. The social workers have been pretty pessimistic about the risks involved in taking on a tiny one aged under 1 or so (we've said we would consider foster to adopt) as their development may be less predictable than for an older child- but we think we'd like to take on the uncertainty of placement changes, rather than the little one having to take all the risk. And at least it would avoid the issues related to placement moves, even if it means more risk in other areas! If anyone has any information on, for example, what proportion of newborns/small babies taken into care have fetal alcohol syndrome or related disorders, and of what severity, successful treatment rates of reactive attachment disorder, or anything else to do with rates of serious disability in young children taken into care, that could possibly be really helpful to us: We're trying to be realistic about the child or children we can care for, but it's hard without any real data. Thanks
Donatella
October 1, 2013 10:58
Well I have three all of whom were baby placements. One functions pretty much as you'd expect a 12 year old hormonal pre teen to. One has an asd dx but copes in mainstream with some support. One has dxs of ADHD, asd and spld and is in a special school where he's very well supported. Tbh I'm not sure you're going to find the hard facts that you're looking for. Baby placements are a leap in the dark - you can look closely at birth family history to reds what is and isn't said. Yes a lot of bms abuse drugs and alcohol and live chaotic dysfunctional lives. The longer I'm an adoptive parent the more asd, ADHD I see - both of which, of course, are genetic. I'm as sure as I can be that - for now - my children don't have attachment issues (although we have had therapy for one child for similar issues). Thing is lots if birth families are unable to parent for reasons other than drugs and alcohol. Something underlies that - possibly an undiagnosed mental health issue. I'd say prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Edited 17/02/2021
Sockthing
October 1, 2013 12:14
Yes. I'd echo that. Best advice when adopting a baby is to expect surprises. It's a complete "lucky dip" not wanting to offend or trivialise by using that language. It's a plunge into the dark. I think also, be aware that adopting a baby does not guarantee that the issues caused by "placement moves" are eliminated. We adopted my son at 11 months, he had one set of FCs. I am absolutely certain that he was profoundly affected by losing his FCs. I think it was in holly van Guldens book that she explains that it is not just what they have been through that affects them, but their own personalty and personal resilience - what one child copes with fairly well another will find deeply painful. He is 3 now and has possible autism, and sensory problems as well as possible attachment problems. His profile at ten months indicated none of this. With hindsight we should have probed a lot more about his birth mothers lifestyle and reasons for her own behaviour. We know nothing about the birth father not even a name, so we could never have known the risks from that side. Despite what I've said above I don't regret adopting a baby, I'm not sure I'd be the right person to adopt an older child. And our little chap is truly WONDERFUL and the world would be a lesser place without him in it, as would our lives. But be prepared for surprises. Highly recommend reading "Real parents Real children". Especially the chapters on grief. All the best hope it goes well.
Edited 17/02/2021
Cable
October 1, 2013 16:02
Thanks for your replies- I think we are basically working on the principle of prepare for the worst- though it would be nice to get data on the relative probabilities! Having taught and childminded I've been forcibly made aware that lots of issues just don't show up until later on- hopefully whatever happens things will turn out well!
Edited 17/02/2021
Cable
October 1, 2013 21:12
Thanks- will have a go... hopefully someone here is a psychologist or something and has read up on any research
Edited 17/02/2021
shadow
October 2, 2013 20:18
some of us who adopted older kids also have major issues to deal with that were not predicted - might be more common for the adopters of babies - but 6 year olds can also hide a lot
Edited 17/02/2021
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