Edited 17/02/2021
2nd placement older than first?
lemondancy
August 26, 2013 16:00
Hi thereWe are just starting to enquire about adopting a second child (our son has been with us a year and is an absolute joy - she says as she watches him post a sweetie bag behind the TV... )Our LA has asked if we''d consider an older child, ie older than him (he''s only 2). Obviously from their persopective they just want to be able to move one of thier children off the books and don''t have any babies. But we aren''t actually opposed in principle. We''d be really interested in hearing from anyone who has done this, or know about any research in the area, or just generally has any thoughts on the subject....thanks
FIM
August 26, 2013 16:32
Most advice is to go for a younger child, with at least a two year gap, if not larger, though if there are kinship relations I can understand why they asked But I'd be asking why a SW is going against this advice before proceeding. If its just lack of experience, then give it a wide berth, but if there are specific unusual circumstances only you will be able to decide.
Edited 17/02/2021
Jet
August 26, 2013 18:31
sending pmfeel very doubtful about this Jet
Edited 17/02/2021
petuniaave
August 26, 2013 19:38
when i was waiting to be matched with my second child i got the impression they always recommended the second child be younger to maintain the first child;s position in the household so to speak
Edited 17/02/2021
agatha
August 27, 2013 10:28
Hi,We are just starting the process of being reassessed our little girl is 2.5 years and we have been advised that the next child has to be at least 18mths younger than her, ideally a child born in 2013.We were advised that this is due to maintaining their position in the household.
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7
August 27, 2013 12:52
It makes me angry that one minute social services say the child needs to be younger and most social workers I have ever discussed it with emphasise this. Many want as much as 3 year age group. Then they contradict themselves!!! I would be wary ... sounds as if they are serving their own interests of placing the child and not considering your family and not following best practice.
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7
August 27, 2013 12:52
I meant age gap NOT group!!!
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7
August 27, 2013 12:53
It is the adoptive family that will deal with the fallout NOT social services!!! From all I have heard/been told/read I would be very cautious!!!
Edited 17/02/2021
Witch
August 27, 2013 15:18
Hi,I have never, ever heard of that happening. For all the reasons others have mentioned.I personally would not go there. But I am sure someone, somewhere has experience of this and will hopefully be along to enlighten us all.Do take care please,Witch
Edited 17/02/2021
lemondancy
August 27, 2013 19:37
Thanks all. Our assumption had been that we would want to take our time, and wait for a baby, for all the reasons you've suggested. The fact the SW was keen for us to consider older children made us wonder if this was a common or commonly understood thing - from the responses I guess not! Assuming nobody else comes forward with a great reason to consider it, I think we'll go back to our first assumption - another littly.
Edited 17/02/2021
Archived
This topic is archived. New posts are not allowed.
