Edited 17/02/2021
10 Year Adoption Celebration
homebird2003
January 23, 2013 10:29
I still visit the boards but have to admit that its an uncomfortable place to be. As a birth family member I see things from a different persepective and although I would like to comment on some threads I feel that I wouldn''t be welcome. I have found another forum populated by adptees, adopters and birth family where everyone is respected and their thoughts valued and have made some good friends there.Back to my reason for posting today. My daughter got this idea from her siblings who were adopted a year before she was (their parents had already been approved but we had only just started the process)We are celebrating her 10 year adoption day. We have never marked the date before but she has asked if we could do something to acknowledge it this year. So, we are off to McDonalds after school for a Happy meal & McFlurry.(simple pleasures eh!)I hope other kinship adopters are doing well - it would be good to hear from you.
uk2usa
January 23, 2013 18:19
Hi Homebird!Congrats on your 10th Anniversary. Glad to hear it has been successful.Could you please share with us the name of the other forum you joined??Also how old is your dtr? How frequent is yours & her contact with BF? Has it been healthy and open over the 10yrs or Drama? Did you have any BCs?Many thanks for any input as we are looking for more kinship perspectives.
Edited 17/02/2021
homebird2003
January 24, 2013 08:38
Hi,Good to hear from you.Without giving too much information on an open forum....We have two birth children now aged 25 & 23. Our adopted daughter is 12. She is the youngest of a group of siblings born to my husbands sister. She came into our care from 3 days old when the other children were living with maternal aunt. When the family had to make decisions concerning the future of the children birth mum was in denial that anythimg was wrong. It went to court and the judge approved various adoption orders and residence orders. Birth mum backed our adoption but did not approve of the others but didn't bother to contest.Some of the children remained with various extended birth family (seperately) and the others were adopted together by strangers.We were encouraged to be open about our adoption and to maintain contact with the other siblings. Our daughter has anytime face to face & text contact with the children (now adults) who stayed with other relatives. This is not intrusive and works very well.She also sees other birth family members just the same as if she was still in her first family. We agreed with the other adopters that we'd write twice a year and send a video of messages once a year. However, the other adopters have reduced this to one letter a year and have refused our requests to go back to the original agreement.Our daughter manages all this very well and seems comfortable with the fact that she has siblings living in various locations, cousins who are legally her brother and sister, and a birth mum living two streets away who she doesn't see.(birth mums choice) She has a life story book which tells her in simple terms who everyone is, why they couldn't live together etc.The people on the other forum are very supportive but having quickly read about your situation I don't think they will have any experience to help you. You could try Family Rights Group.I hope you get everything settled soon and can get on with life.
Edited 17/02/2021
uk2usa
January 24, 2013 14:09
Thank you for sharing your experience - a very helpful perspective to help us prepare for family dynamics. Will check out both sites.Best wishes to you & your family
Edited 17/02/2021
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