Archived Forums

Hi. Yes you will be required to take a minimum of 6 months adoption leave. I note you will only be away from home for a few hours a week. But working from home also requires you to work on computer, take calls etc. It's vital in early days of placement that the child gets your undivided attention to build a trust relationship. Best to give a few LA's and VA's a call. They will advise you the amount of time they require for you to take off work depending on the age range of the child you want to adopt. Many LAs now require 12 months leave for children placed under the age of 2 years. Many self employed adopters have to have savings to fund the leave or delay adoption to have the funds in place. Good luck G

Thanks G. My business would go under taking 6-12 months off. And I've been self employed for 10+ years I'm virtually unemployable now. No point in ringing round if its going to be the case as I'd have no business to go back to so way to single handedly support and pay the bills. Thank you :)

I think that if you could take six months off, and possibly adopt a school age child, that could give you some flexibility to work in term times? That said, adopted children have more needs than biological ones, and therefore you would need to make contingency plans in case you couldn't do this.

Don’t give up till you’ve rung a few agencies and seen what the options are. Don’t forget you will get child benefit and be eligible for tax credits etc and possibly other benefits depending on your circumstances. A lot of people - especially single adopters - make use of these at least in the short term and sometimes long term. Do your research now and look into the different options. But also think realistically about how much work you will be able to actually do with a needy child around - you might end up having to do most of it in the evenings - and you don’t want to be stressed so you neeed a realistic plan

What age child are you thinking of? You will still need to be able to take time off and I guess how hard/easy that will be will to a degree depend on what sort of photography you do. I have friends who are professional photographers - one specialises in weddings, often destination weddings. The other more local weddings and other general stuff. I know from both that the editing can take time and that would be tricky with a small child around. I hear what you say about childcare however until a child is legally yours that may not be an option open to you anyway - without permission so I don’t think you can count on that. And you and a child will need to form an attachment - and that can take time. Not forgetting it’ll be exhausting. If you’re looking for a school aged child think about what you’ll do during holiday time, inset days, sick days etc ... Is there any work you can do that won’t take you away from a child?

A lot of people in my line of work both adopters and biological parents have had to do most of their work in the evenings to spend more time to be hands-on with the kids. The ones who have adopted didn't have their business' before they adopted so wasn't hit with the implications of taking all the time off. Having just bought a house through sheer hard graft I don't want everything to go to rack and ruin because I have to take the time off. My studio is in the bottom of my garden, so when i say I'd be working potentially 5 hours a week shooting, I'd be there. But nowhere (in anything ive seen so far) does it state about taking the time off - so I do think its a bit misleading. I understand why they request it -I really do - but i really don't think its feasible for single adopters. Least I know - before I went to any info meetings.

But single adopters do manage it .. they have to. What other adopters do post adoption order, what birth parents do isn’t really the point. Maybe those adopters set up their own business because they were unable to hold down a full time job because of the needs of the children they adopted. It happens. When you say you’re shooting at the bottom of your garden ... what will that entail? People coming to the house? Again, in the early stages that might not be agreeable to social workers. Adoption is tough. It’s not like having a birth child. It is doable and many singlies have adopted before you but you will be expected to demonstrate flexibility and you will be expected to take time off. How much time realistically do you think you can take off? https://www.first4adoption.org.uk/the-adoption-process/moving-in-becoming-a-family/ For info.

Lots of single adopters out here, including me. If you want it badly enough you find a way to make it work. I changed jobs, it delayed me while I waited for a suitable opportinity but its what I had to do.

If you are willing to consider a school aged child or one with known disabilities you may get an agency to consider you if your parents are fit and are fully on board with the child minding. The reality is a lot of it is about supply and demand. A lot of people want a young child without a known disability, so social workers can afford to be very choosey only picking those who are "perfect". They are short of adopters for hard to place children so tend to be a bit more flexible, so if you are willing to consider a harder to place child please don't be afraid of trying a few agencies.

Also with a disability (of any sort) you can claim DLA for the child which is tax free - and Carers allowance if you earn below a certain amount - you could also look at moving to a smaller place - lots of options

I have sent you a pm

Blah - maybe they don't explicitly say you need to take time off work, but I'd have thought it was kind of obvious? Most people don't immediately go back to work when they have a baby, and this is much more than having a baby - it's about taking the time to bond with a child who has issues about adults and has probably been treated really badly. It's a bit naive to think you could work around a child in those first few months. I don't mean to sound harsh but a child has to come first. Yes, it's harder for us single adopters because we are solely responsible not just for the parenting but for being the breadwinners too. It is brilliant you have your own company (I do too) and that you can be flexible, but you genuinely would need to take some time off to try to bond with a child who, in all honesty, would have problems bonding in the first place. Social workers WANT us to succeed at adopting. I really recommend you talk to some about this to see what they think and advise, and then see if you can find a way to do it. I also recommend you find out more about the types of children who are looking for homes, which will explain not just why social workers recommend 12 months off, but why the children need it and why it's so important.

No harm in making enquiries. You won't be placed with a toddler but there could be possibilities with older children. Often agencies are much more flexible with children who are looking like spending the rest of their lives in care. Good luck.

I'm not being blind-sided by thinking I wouldn't need to take time off but 6-12 months is a long time especially to people who are self-employed. As someone has said I obviously don't want it enough, when actually I'm just trying to make enquiries etc and see whats out there and whether it is the right thing for me. I also have no qualms with an older child - my job has AMAZING flexibility in the amount of hours I work. I thought I'd come in and ask questions as I'm seeing people taking time off and claiming adoption leave etc, and moving jobs to get a better deal etc (none of this is possible for me). But I do feel a little judged when everything is so tentative. So Thank you for the comments but I've not found a lot that helpful.

I only took six months off when out three arrived - and went back just two short days a week after the youngest started school.....but I then left after three months as I couldn't manage it all.... I think there are no hard and fast rules, but you do need to be flexible and have plan B/C/D if things don't work out as you'd hope. It is harder for single adopters as they are trying to do everything - at least for me hubby kept working and we were OK financially. Good luck with your journey, wherever it takes you

I think what people are trying to do is get you to think through how it could work - or not. About age, about ability/disability, etc. Modern day adoption is complex. The children in the system are very complex. Some parents are able to return to work; others not. It will all depend on the needs of the child - and the younger the child the less obvious those needs are likely to be. Two out of three of mine have turned out to have complex needs despite being classed as easy to place babies. With an older child those issues may be clearer ... but it’s rare that you’ll find a straightforward child. It might help you to think about/read about the sort of children needing permanency. To think about what you could/couldn’t manage. SWs - particularly with younger, easy to place children - can afford to be choosy and so the more you can offer the more attractive a prospect you become. The needs of the children will always be paramount - rightly or wrongly we adopters come a way down the list.

I think rather than making hard and fast decisions or deciding what is possible now it’s worth making enquiries with several agencies and see what they say. Going through the process these are some of the things that you will be considering - you just need to be honest about your circumstances and what you feel is realistic for you. It may mean some changes to what you expected - the whole thing is a learning process - and some people do go back to work quite soon - with older children - and if this is really important to you then work with your social worker very carefully to get (as far as possible) a suitable match it can work with

Hi Blah - I'm sorry you're feeling that way, and if my message contributed to you feeling that these replies aren't helpful then I apologise. Before I started the process and did a lot of reading (I'm still early stages), I considered an older child. I'm self employed like you (like I said, I have my own business), and if I don't work, I don't have an income. If I didn't have savings it would make things a lot more difficult for me. The thing is, older children will potentially come with more issues as they'll have been in the foster care system for much longer. So actually, when I looked into it, an older child wouldn't work for me as I'd probably have to give up a lot more than 12 months of working. But with a child whose needs I could manage ... well, maybe that could work. It would still take months of one on one bonding (without childcare) to make a connection ... if a child who'd been in various foster care homes on top of the trauma of the birth family could bond. I'm sure with the right match and a lot of work and time they could. That's what those months off work are for. There are so many children in the system, and they're desperate for loving families, which I'm sure you would be. We're sharing what we know, and what our experiences are, but your journey is your own. You may meet one social worker who says that being unable to take that much time off work is a barrier. You may meet another who says it isn't a problem but something in your personal life is. Another may (and I'm adding this in for some light relief!) take exception to you 'shooting people at the end of the garden' and shop you straight to the police! I think what we're all trying to do is explain why those 6-12 months are considered necessary for the sake of the child. Please don't take the fact you can't take that time away from your business as a criticism - it's not. It's worth considering if you can't find a way around that to then see how much you're willing to compromise. Do you want a child enough to close your business? Are you established enough to take a sabbatical if you can find the funding and return to it after a year (which is longer than normal maternity leave, admittedly, but there is no question you'd have to take maternity leave)? Can you employ someone to caretake your business while you and the child settle together? Can you merge your business with someone else - your contacts, for example - and take a cut of their work? These are all questions I've asked myself about my business if, after my money runs out, my child will still need me to be at home. Like I said, I'm fortunate enough to have a buffer of savings, but they will run out and I need to think about what I'd be prepared to do after that. What would any of us be prepared to do for our child? We'd do anything, surely? And if those thoughts don't sit comfortably with you right now, maybe now isn't the time to adopt. Maybe saving for a year and reconsidering again is. Adoption isn't easy. From the moment you start the process you need a thick skin, and even though I'm not a parent myself, I think it needs to get even thicker once you're placed with a child who hates you, who wants to go back to their foster carer, who doesn't trust you because you're an adult and their birth parents abused them, etc... Please don't take anything on this thread to heart. It's all coming from a good place. If you want to private message me to chat further you're more than welcome to. Like I said, I'm early stages so can help with information about that. And if not, all the very best to you.

Well my experience was different and I think , if you look around and speak to your Local Authority SW and also some agencies, it may not be a problem with an older child, provided it is the right child for you When we considered adopting we were open about the fact that neither of us could afford to leave work. As we were aiming at an older child this was not regarded as a problem. My first child was very social and wanted to get out and meet other children as soon as possible. He was keen to be adopted and old enough to have decided this for himself. Bonding was never an issue and after some early mild testing us out behaviour, he settled down and thrived. The SW herself produced on request, a list of child minders in the town, for after school care once I returned to work, and she also linked us up with a summer activity week for local kids ! I did take adoption leave, but once my child was at school I could have gone back at least part time without being missed. My child moved here over an Easter break, so we had a month at home, but actually it was too long, and both of us were glad when school started as he was bored because he didn't know any other kids yet, to play with ! Nobody ever said we needed to take a year. Some people only get statutory leave anyway which I think is about 13 weeks. Not sure if you have the NI stamps, but it could be worth enquiringly if you would be entitled to statutory adoption pay. And as for bonding, that comes with time and is longer and slower than with a littly. My being off longer wouldn't have helped that, it would have been too intense. Even my timid second child wanted to be at school, and moved over summer, just in time for new term. He was desperate to be at home the rest of the time, but school day would have been long enough for a part time job. So it is possible. you need to work out backup options, and who your support is. ( telephone support as well as local) for things like illness or if work requires you to be out, can you quickly get to school in emergency, things like that.