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General Advice

Masamune1989 May 20, 2015 20:53
Hi everyone, I am new here but just after some general advice. My husband and I have been considering adoption for the past year and finally decided to look further into the process. We visited an information evening last week and decided from there that we would like to try and adopt - I say try because we were told on the evening that our LA isn't accepting many prospective adopters at the moment as their numbers of children waiting for adoption has lowered this year. Whilst this was disheartening, we have filled in the request for home visit form and sent it at the weekend. How long does it usually take to hear back from this? We are a home owning married couple, both in professional careers and no debts. If we are not offered this initial visit - what are our next options? Thank you in advance!
Edited 17/02/2021
tree.fin888 May 20, 2015 21:38
Can't answer about how long it would take for you to hear back, but if you are not offered an initial visit you can try another LA or a voluntary agency (My DW and I are VA veterans). The reason why there is a surplus of adopters at the moment is because of the (misunderstood) effect of a recent Court judgment. However, things change so if you are keen do not be put off. I would say that you can improve your chances of getting past the initial visit by doing a bit of reading in advance of the visit, something like "An Adoption Diary" or (and I still need to read it myself) Sally Donovan's "No Matter What". I would think a SW would want to see that you have at least a basic insight into the experiences of children in the care system who may be adopted. Timpsons are also giving out free books on attachment, which are a very good snapshot (the founder is an adoptive parent). Also, think about what experiences you have had in looking after children or how you would go about getting that experience. You might also want to show that you have given some thought to the practicality of looking after the children, for example, would one of you be prepared to give up work for a year? That level of commitment (and more) may be what a child or children needs. You will also improve your chances by being prepared to take harder to place children, such as sibling groups, older children or children with disabilities. However, you also need to be sure that you could meet those children's needs. It is hard work, but as you might have gleaned from some of the posts here, we love our kids!
Edited 17/02/2021
Scafell May 20, 2015 21:38
Hi there Don't you have any other agencies near you which you could approach? If you get approved through a voluntary agency rther than through a local authority you will go straight onto the national adoption register. Without wishing to sound unsympathetic, as an approved adopter in waiting I am a bit relieved to hear agencies aren't taking many people on. A quick scan of these boards will show lots of people have been approved and waiting a long time and there is a lot of competitive matching going on, That said, good luck!
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Masamune1989 May 21, 2015 10:14
Good morning, thanks for your quick responses, I have just ordered 'no matter what' and have read Pablo Fernandez Becoming Dads. In terms of experience, I am a teacher and my partner works in children's theatres at a hospital so I can confident between us we have a lot to offer a child. Thanks for the advice regarding joining a voluntary agency, I admit this isn't something we had thought of but after doing further research this does seem some very good advice! Thank you both.
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reallove2014 May 21, 2015 11:24
Hi Masamune Firstly, welcome to the journey of adoption ;-) Congrats on getting to the first stage of frustration ;-) this will be a regular thing - believe me! I have had to learn to be patient which hasnt been an easy journey but its getting there lol We were told we needed to read Creating loving attachments - Parenting with PACE a therapeutic approach to parenting by Dan Hughes - a tough read but worth it, as this would be needed by the start of stage 2 so start with that one ;-) Also look at VA in your area - LA are cutting their recruitment down from what i understand due to lack of children available compared to approved adopters, VA are equally as frustrating BUT so is the whole process Good luck and welcome
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Masamune1989 May 21, 2015 19:29
Hi again, I have taken some advice and looked at a VA today and contacted them for their information pack. Can someone please clarify the rules on signing up with an agency for the assessment? I have sent a request form to our LA to ask for an initial home visit but haven't heard back yet (it was only Saturday I sent it) but the email i received from the VA says they will call in a week to arrange a visit if we want one. Am I right in thinking you can only go through the process with one agency? In people's experience, which route is better? The VA says that we could be looking at having a child with us in 8-12 months, I am a little sceptical about this time frame but do you get the same training etc through a VA? Thanks again, A very confused potential adopter.
Edited 17/02/2021
tree.fin888 May 21, 2015 20:38
Greetings Masamune You can only be assessed by one agency, but I think there is no harm in speaking to more than one to decide which is best for you. It does not sound like you are committed to the LA yet (nor it to you). I'd have a look at the blurb from the VA, see if you like the cut of their gib and have a chat with them before deciding. At this stage keep your options open, without being untruthful to either. On time scales, we were at the tail end of the old system, but were assessed in 12 months (but that included a 3 month delay while being loaded onto the potential adopters' course). Our match was identified 3 months later (exchange day) and then we had another 3 month wait for matching panel. That was when there were more children needing a family than available adopters, but TBH, you seem to have a lot to offer (much better childcare experience than me and DW), so don't be put off. I'd say the time scale is right for assessment but matching is anyone's guess. You don't know what the situation will be in 12 months. Matching is the hard and most critical bit. IMHO you need to be confident that the LA or VA will do you and your partner justice in preparing the assessment as it is essentially the tool the LA will use to decide if you can meet a child's needs and hence what you need to get an appropriate match.
Edited 17/02/2021
Scafell May 21, 2015 23:33
Most VAs and LAs do information evenings, which I found really useful and which gave me time to start my adoption reading before committing to an agency. Ask about the post adoption support offer. You are supposed to be approved within 6 months but for most people it seems to take a bit longer than that. I suppose the VA only says you COULD be looking to have a child with you within 8-12 months. I guess you could. Or you could be waiting much longer!
Edited 17/02/2021
Masamune1989 May 27, 2015 23:05
Hi everyone, just thought I'd give a quick update. We had a call from our LA yesterday who have given us a date for an initial visit (which I was surprised at after our information evening visit). I also have a pre-planned phone call arranged for tomorrow with a VA. Things seem to be coming into motion which is exciting. I'd also just like to say thank you to tree.fin888, I bought 'no matter what' and haven't been able to put it down. I just finished it this evening and have now ordered the other books you have recommended. Thank you!
Edited 17/02/2021
julian100 September 8, 2015 20:49
my partner and i are with Arc Adoption in Sunderland despite us being based in Herts as we were told similar things locally....Arc have been the opposite experience, they deal with all local authorities and can match children from anywhere, I believe this is the same for Barnardo's....the initial home visit is a relaxed interview/chat, then you apply and attend stage one and stage 2 training before you have house visits again then panel....the training is in Sunderland but you can make it a weekend away and stay in a nice hotel :-) give Arc a go, we have been really impressed so far....
Edited 17/02/2021

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