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Rembering Sexual Abuse In Nightmares
Slidingdoors
January 20, 2019 21:55
Hi This is a difficult subject to right and one I feel I really wonât to protect my child on. To cut a very, very long and traumatic story short, my little one is having repeated nightmares about things that they canât make sense of. This is having a real affect on everything in our daily life. Mainly sensory, wont dress, wants to wear smelly clothes, canât cope with anything near their skin. Itâs sensory problems linked with attachement issues. However they are describing their nightmares too me that they insist are causing theses issues around seams, clothes, school etc. The nightmares are things that they disclosed to me at the start of placement that relate to terrible abuse they suffered. However my child canât remeber the detail of these disclosures. But what they are left with is the feelings of terror that they say they canât escape from. . This is played out in the nightmares and attachement/ sensory problems We now have. Lost of things adding to the stress, school, canât keep up, feels worthless, behind, etc. My question is, would you tell them their dreams are real, yes these things did happen? Or let them forget, which the detail of they are naturally forgetting given their age etc? But give them a safe space, allow them to still experience the feelings through various outlets. Sensory, nightmares etc. I know this may not make sense to some. Iâm hoping someone has experienced this type of recovery. We have services involved, my little one has had therapeutic work thatâs been amazing. Iâm just asking from one parent to another whoâs walked this path of recovery with their child.
freddie2
January 20, 2019 22:41
Iâm sorry, I donât have experience of this, but wanted to send you my support I wonder if something like EMDR therapy could possibly help? My ad had this form of trauma therapy and it certainly helped her . It was recommended by PAS team and funded by the ASF. I was cynical at the outset as I didnât see how it could work, but it did, and I understand that thereâs clinical evidence to support itâs efficacy. Whether it would be appropriate in these circumstances, I donât know, but may be worth exploring possibly worn PAS? Xx
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safia
January 21, 2019 08:24
I would just say something general like âsometimes our dreams are about real things that happened that are difficult to think aboutâ and let the therapist know - it may be that they need to change their approach in some way or refer to a different type of therapy. I wouldnât say directly âthose things happenedâ - as it may be too traumatic that way and also you donât know how accurate the details in the dream are - as in dreams sometimes things change or several things become one incident or they can be more symbolic that real
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white christmas
January 21, 2019 17:59
Very sorry to hear about the trauma and effects. Can I just ask, are there any details related to this time of trauma in the social services file? If so, anyone over 18 can request to look at the file with support, therefore if you encourage memories to be repressed, the shock of the truth may be even harder to navigate later on. I do agree with Safia though, about the general response for now and also some therapy like DDP ( I may not have that right), EMDR or CBT. EMDR can retraumatise in certain circumstances but if memories develop and spill out regularly, affecting life constantly then it may be the best option anyway. Naturally forgetting may happen for a few years but the teenage brain may bring it all back again so the earlier the therapy the better I believe. Sending good wishes to you all x
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chestnuttree
January 21, 2019 18:38
I would not encourage to suppress any memories as it will make it much harder to work through the trauma. Her body will remember the trauma and not forget. Do you know about the events only from what your Child told you or is this documented in files? One of my daughters thought she remembered something very traumatic, but after I checked with the foster carer it turned out she had jumbled up events in her memory and filled in gaps with her imagination. So I would not take everything at face value ( but take it seriously). I would talk to the therapist to discuss how to handle this. How old is your child? You might find some helpful information here: https://creatingafamily.org/?s=Sexual+abuse
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Ford Prefect
January 22, 2019 06:17
I would caution against any amateur psychology either directly to your child or with advice from a forum. I would advise you to seek professional help. More damage can be done than good by those lacking the proper training. As a parent though, our role is empathy, understanding, comfort and safety.
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white christmas
January 22, 2019 10:48
I agree with Ford Prefect about professional help and our role. Trust your instincts when it comes to receiving professional help as effectiveness varies even if intentions are good.
Edited 17/02/2021
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