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the human rights laws could be used here.i cant remember which one it is but basically it says that any person is entitled to have a child and it can not be discriminated against.might be worth looking at..we certainly used that at our agency and went to panel and they agree with us.

Hi i have had MS for nearly 25 years now. when we applied to adopt i had had it for 7 years and had not had a relapse for 5. we were approved for 3-7 year olds -so that if my health got worse we knew that some of the day they would be at nursery/school.we adopted 2 children 18 years ago, 7 years later we asked to be approved again. the original agency said no-they thought 4 kids would be too much for someone with ms -we went to another agency, and our younger sons joined us 11 years ago. 2 of our children have disabilties ( one has a learning disability, the other has a sensory disability) both have been at national level for sport and we have a lot of driving round to do with them. they are now teenagers and in their twenties. i work 2.5 days a week and do voluntary work 1 day a week. over the last year i have slowed down a bit- i walk with a limp and use a stick for distances. however we have camped through out europe with our sons, back packed round NZ etc it has been possible to do it all with MS . my dh is very hands on and we have lived in the same community for 25 years so have had friends who have helped out when i have not been well - i have had 4 relapses in the last 18 years-each lasting 2-3 weeks. hope that helps-pm me if you have any more questions

hiIm so sorry you have been through the whole process to be discriminated against.i will send a pmPear tree

Hi, I also have ms. Myself and my husband are at the start of the adoption journey. I had a relapse last year, but only because I came off Tysabri to try IVF. Had I not came off treatment I would not of relapsed. Therefore I can not come off treatment again.All the medical staff I have contact with said they could see no reason why I couldn't adopt. I have just had my medical for sw, hoping that it has gone ok.What I don't understand is why your friend said it was better just to walk away. How can anyone thats from sw judge your medical condition when they are not qualified to do so? I will follow any future posts you post with interest. I hope that things go your way.

Hi, I also have ms. Myself and my husband are at the start of the adoption journey. I had a relapse last year, but only because I came off Tysabri to try IVF. Had I not came off treatment I would not of relapsed. Therefore I can not come off treatment again.All the medical staff I have contact with said they could see no reason why I couldn't adopt. I have just had my medical for sw, hoping that it has gone ok.What I don't understand is why your friend said it was better just to walk away. How can anyone thats from sw judge your medical condition when they are not qualified to do so? I will follow any future posts you post with interest. I hope that things go your way.

HiAlthough we are not making a direct complaint we are sending a letter to the department questioning there decision process and we have copied it to the chief executive and our mp. He is also writing to ask how they came to their decision. So it might get someone shouted at.Our friend who advised us felt that if we complained we would be taken on but would we trust them to do their best for us after they had treated us so shabbily.She told us to try another agency who had not already pre decided our fate. Wouldn't it be a waste of time if we stayed with them for another year and their panel turned us down on the same problem.

HiI too have MS.Just wondered what agency you are using? I tried my local authority. They would take me to panel but reluctantly so I decided to use an independant charity organisation. So far its looking good, I have done the prep course, started my home study and had my medical. I am sure that there will be some hurdles but I do feel quite positive about this one.Prior to joing the new agency, I did contact my MP and the childrens minister so I was armed with information to throw back at the local authority. I decided i was not going to be classed as a second class citzen by them and moved on.I have friends who have long tmer illnesses who have successfully adopted. They have even been on the high rate DLA. Not sure if this makes and difference.Good Luck

We finally got the reply from the chief executive who apologised for their inefficiency but qualified it by saying they were short staffed. It took 10 weeks for the letter and we had to remind them!! However when we queried whether they had discriminated against us he said they had not because any discrimination we had received was trumped by the needs of the child! This means of course they can do what ever they like and not be held to account however ill informed or ridiculous the decision. Are we really such a terrible risk to a child because I may get a limp in 10 years and of course they haven' t even allowed for the fact that my husband is fit and healthy. Sorry to moan but now I am worried that the New VA will come up with the same decision and that will be the end. I wouldnt mind if I thought that that my health will be a problem but I am healthy And symptom free and have been for ten years.

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and myself were halfway through our assessments (due to go to panel in June) when he recieved his diagnosis of MS. Apart from this he sailed through his medical. I have had a period of depression 8-10 years ago (following the death of my father and breakdown of marriage due to infertility). Basically our application is on hold as they want my husband to have a year of stability, he has already had 6 months but apparently this doesnt count, and they want to make sure I'm resilient enough to deal with it. My question was if he was symptom free for a year what would I have to be resilient against? They had no answer for this funnily enough! Biazrrely tho, my husband has a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship and when we have her we have no issues with coping.We also had it explained to us that if we got a yes from panel we may wait a long time to get matched with any children, if at all, as the childrens SW may take one look at our medical history and decline us straight away.So in a nutshell we now have to ask ourselves if we want to put ourselves through that. Its a tough call and as we only had the conversation with our social worker yesterday its still pretty raw. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, without sounding too childish, is..its just not fair!

hirosemeister. I would question the legal ability of the LA to say that they can discriminate against possible disability because of the "needs of a child". SS now have a legal obligation to support disabled parents, btw. I would, if you are members ring up AUK and get their free legal advice on this matter.The process is very subjective and so I would think having a frank conversation with the new VA would be paramount on the list. They are not allowed to discriminate, and should not be allowed to do lip service excuses nowadays.susanrockey, I think, your case is different. The mental health side of it could be a concern, living with someone who is suddenly diagnosed with a life limiting condition can cause reactive depression. The "normal rule" is at least a yr after the last traumatic event- hence the last IVF treatment must be at least a yr ago, if you loose a family member close to you etc. Dont waste too much energy being cross at the injustice of "it might not happen to me" try and address the issue as an "in case it does".My DH has to live with my chronic condition (because he is rather keen on the woman who has it!), in a way, when I am really poorly, he lives with it more than me- because the powerlessness is ever so tough. my disability has over the years increased hugely- not least due to the stresses of living as an adoptive parent (!) but they are our children, we do manage things I think really well here. We have a rock steady plan for when I'm sick, everyone in the wider family drops everything and runs and we have enormous support. things like the children know the routine and are still taken to all their activities as normal are vital. Its really hard for "other" families when Mum is suddenly unwell and they have well adjusted BC. Here, we slot into plan B and we chug through. We all know what is happening, make a visual timetable etc. Im not saying the loss of mum isnt tough on the children but they know mum comes home (9yrs in now).When DH was ill a while back, the children wobbled a lot more- they arent used to it in him. If I'm in hospital or out of action I have a lot of accepting of circumstances to do, that he is doing his best and the "extras" of life like watering of plants etc will not happen and that any time when the kids are not bothering dh he needs time to chill or he will struggle.With respect, your dh's dd from previous relationship is not the same as parenting a child who has had the level of repeated early losses and traumas an adoptive child has. The experience is valuable as all experience with children is, but a child who has lived even a short life within their BF will have lost everything. every sight, smell, voice, everything familiar to them. These children get trauma from this (and other losses and traumas). You as a good, empathic mum pick up this trauma and start to own it. It can begin to cause secondary trauma. You are especially susceptable as someone who had MH trouble in the past but it doesnt mean that its not recoverable or insurmountable it is, but you need to evidence that you acknowledge, work through and are able to support a hurting child.There are some good parents who are disabled you know. You just have to be good at thinking round things quicky and thats an EXCELLENT attribute for an adoptive parent to have. The comment about people not wanting to take you on as adoptive parents was very unkind, insensitive and (I think unecessarily) spiteful but if you can try and look at the possible issues, write how you can address them, you give yourselves the best possible shot. there ARE people who take on adoptive parents with a quirky set of skills bourne through certain painful parts of life. Several of us have done this.I hope you are able to take this in the supportive way it has been intended. Go for it, but address the things they are flagging as issues as constructively as you can.

Several years ago I was very obviously discriminated against by a childs social worker during a match.The childs sw was from another authority.Our sw felt so strongly she wanted me to take it as far as an official complaint.Her adoption team would not deal with this social worker again.I have a bad hip which is from birth and was replaced in 2006 whilst I was going through the adoption process.I also have facet joint arthritis in my back and two bad knees.My femoral nerve was severed during my original hip op in the 80s and due to this I cant lift my right leg off the ground when sitting,I cant run,walk with a stick and cant stabilise this leg very well which leads to many falls.I fell on Thursday and have a badly strained ankle.My conditions will deteriorate.but it didnt stop us adopting a 2 and 3 year old three years ago.My children are growing up being caring and understanding about disabilities.They know that some days mummy cant do a lot.My disabilities havent stopped my children having active and happy childhoods.NO ONE SHOULD DISCRIMINATE AGAINST PROSPECTIVE DISABLED ADOPTERS.THEY CANT BY LAWDo not be put off or let any authority not let you adopt due to disability.Tiglet

Good news!! I have passed my medical and we are now on the prep course hooray!! The VA medical officer was puzzled why we had been turned down previously as all the reports were positive.Anyway we are only moving forward now so home visits etc bring it on!!!!