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I have included a statement in a record put together by a mental health worker so that may help. Currently AD and partner are refusing to have that worker at the meeting as she disagrees with AD's viewpoint. Partner is now saying that the acute mental health ward is making AD ill. He just wants her home and for the difficulties to go away. I told him to please be careful because I cannot keep AD safe and well when she is so ill... this evening she was pleasant to me but explained about hearing 'voices' and what they say to her. She also wants to become Rastafarian and spend her housing benefit on buying a car even though she can't drive..... partner is ignoring the obvious to suit his needs. I asked to speak with AD's psychologist but she did not get back to me. Maybe she will tomorrow but the panel is early morning. If she is discharged I will complain loudly to anyone I can but that won't save AD. DIscharge is unlikely but stranger decisions happen apparently. Thank you all for your kindnesses x

Will pray for you all and the panel meeting tomorrow - glad to hear you are looking after yourself in the midst of all this x

Dear White Christmas, I feel for you. Three things, first, the NOK in healthcare is not necessarily the same as the legal NOK. The patients are asked who they want to be named as NOK. Your AD must have given the staff his details. Secondly, being admitted to an acute mental health unit requires acute treatment. She is very unlikely to be discharged unless the doctors see some treatment response. Has she been given a diagnosis? Post-partum psychosis is a well recognised entity that requires treatment which by the way is given in the best interest of the patient. Finally, never forget, you are an amazing mum who loves her daughter dearly and has given yout life for her well-being. That is somewhere in her brain and will help her to come out of this. Look after yourself. Lots of hugs and prayers. A

Panel ruled against discharge, thank goodness. AD was very upset but now is saying that she is glad as she knows she is very ill. Partner is angry and confused. NOK is called nearest relative in reference to sectioning and there is an order. We are third according to the official list. Perhaps our AD could have a say in this but was unlikely to choose us over her partner when she has dreams of making a family unit with him and baby. Luckily the mental health worker was present and she thought the doctor gave a full account of why AD should still be on section. Apparently the judge and other panel members were smiley and sympathetic in their manner which helped as I was worried AD would find the details about herself triggering too. AD has now blocked birth mum as she was ringing the ward drunk and abusive, encouraging AD to fight. AD will now have an assessment of her complex illness which includes having detailed flashbacks of her traumatic childhood before she came to us aged nearly 6. It is not great to watch and hear for us but at least she is safe enough for now. A step at a time. Thank you for all the messages, every one gave me a boost and made me feel I was stronger than one person today.x

Am glad that the panel made a good decision - still a long way to go for you all - but at least all are safe for now and hopefully she can get the help she needs. ((hugs)) and prayers for you xx

Oh that's good news White Christmas. One day at a time. Larst x

Good to read your update Hope that your daughter can accept the help and support from the unit which she needs at this time. As you have said, it is the safe place for her at this time. Take care of yourself Johanna xx

I’m glad to hear. Hope you can have a rest tonight. We will be thinking about and praying for you and AD. You mentioned partner was angry and confused. I do hope the doctors and rest of the staff look into his response too. It might sound hard but the last thing your AD needs is someone angry at her. God bless, A

Good news indeed! That must be such a relief for you xx

AD was discharged before Christmas but is unwell and needs much more support from mental health services than is available, which means that we are trying to fill the gaps as best we can. We have just heard that she may have a liver problem due to a recent overdose on the ward and alcohol since her discharge. AD feels she is unable to manage her mental health crisis without alcohol and her wellbeing is being further undermined by contact with her highly manipulative birth mother who is in the middle of her own mental health crisis. I give emotional support every day, seeing her for hours or giving lifts to friends but each day brings a new challenge or anxiety to add to significant difficulties. Meanwhile her newborn is doing quite well with AD's vulnerable partner but AD pulls away from baby to escape her fears and responsibilities. The birth was a massive trigger for AD, bringing back memories and feelings of historic abuse which she is struggling to come to terms with, though she did report what she remembers to the police before Christmas. Overall, the situation is fragile at best and a complete mess at worst. I keep thinking that we are losing our AD to her traumatic past and we are merely watching her descent. Post adoption support ring me each morning as there is always something to report but otherwise I feel that no one understands or offers enough to help AD cope or heal. Social services merely try to engage family and friends to help. AD's partner's family talk the talk but do not actively help and at times make things worse by judging. My family is tiny now and live miles away. It is always down to my husband and I to pick up the pieces. I pray for hope and change.

I’ve been thinking and praying for you all this time. It saddens me to hear what you and your AD are going through. Is she back in Hospital? Going through what you mentioned: 1. I think it’s a positive thing she realises she is going through a mental health crisis (shows insight). 2. She is aware she needs something to help her with the crisis (obviously not alcohol or BM but she recognises the need for something in which case it might be easier to get her to take treatments rather than alcohol and BM). Has she been offered detox? Alcohol leads to more anxiety but I do get she cannot just stop it - maybe it is worth considering helping her to deal with that firts then with her past (difficult thought). You can only live one day a time. It is hard but try not to think about anything else but today. Do you have any friend to support you and your husband? The journey is long and you need breaks. I shall continue praying for you. A

Keeping you in my thoughts Johanna xx

Thank you both. AD is out of hospital but still suffering from post natal psychosis and depression along with unstable emotional disorder and possible bi polar. Even with my husband's support, it can feel lonely. I have a couple of local friends that I can try to see here and there when not 'on duty' and I am quite canny at grabbing a moment to go to the cinema alone or find a dance class to spend half an hour at before resuming duties. Sleep is hard after listening to AD's traumatic thoughts and spending time with my husband without interruption is difficult but we managed three hours today as we have both given up work to deal with AD. My hubby resents the amount of time that I am on call and the lack of time together now we are retired but I cannot split myself in two. I try to resist her pull sometimes and offer alternatives but often she is in crisis and needs comfort to stabilise. Her own attempts to stabilise herself often unravel. Anyway, as you say, a day at a time or hour. Thank you again. X