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I had it and have now mostly recovered....but at the time both my Post Adoption Support Worker and my GP denied its existence. I tried ADs but they didn't work for me. What did help was prioritising self care - exercise, quiet time, eating well and lots of counselling (that we paid for). I am still triggered sometimes, but its less often and I am better at dealing with it - social work are still one of the biggest triggers...

I had / have it - now much improved and not completely adoption related (ie secondary trauma but the cause was not specifically adoption related though adoption was no doubt a factor and set the scene) - what helped me was excellent specialist counselling which I still have from the service supporting my daughter - and getting the right help for her - self care is also a must and doing something for yourself whatever it is Also I find nature a great help - walking in the park - I walk across a park every day and often walk through a flock of circling pidgeons or seagulls which I love - and I focus on the trees outside the window - so a bit like mindfulness I think

Actually having read your article - it’s probably more PTSD for me with an background of secondary trauma - my therapist refers to it as trauma pure and simple

I think I have it or something akin to it - secondary trauma/blocked care? SO much on that list is relevant to me. I am what they call a 'sandwich carer', looking after my mum from a distance (she's in a care home, but is trying to live a normal life, which requires me to travel 30 miles each way to take her out to do stuff) and our 2 kids. I have no lust for life, can't sleep, am stressed, easily irritated/sad - I cried driving most of the 30 miles home from seeing my mum today. I feel detached, low self esteem, have lost myself, relationship is functioning, but we need to take care of it (no intimacy!) but I have no energy for it. No energy for a social life. We have a commute to work/school and have to be up early, so down time in the evenings and sleep is limited - I am (all of us are) always tired. I do feel trapped. The kids are doing pretty well, but my 17 year old AD has probable ARND and will probably be at home with us for many years to come, something which I am both glad for and terrified of. My AS is doing well, but is anxious and hypervigilant, which definitely passes on to me. We want to make a move to somewhere more rural where other family are, but are kept here by my mum's needs for the foreseeable. I try very hard to practice self care (I go to yoga, walk with friends, and go to a dance class every week) but every moment of every day of my life seems to be accounted for and it feels like my 'self care' has become part of that too - and there's a long unachievable list of things to do even if I do have time. I long for a day where there is nothing that 'needs' done. I think about counselling, wonder if I could just change my attitude and be happy with what I have, but it's very difficult. My life savers are our two dogs. And I do mindfulness/meditation sessions from youtube. Sometimes I deal with it all well - today I'm having a bad day.

Haven, I know I don't post as much as I should (10 years in I know I shouldn't still consider myself a newbie!) but I couldn't read & run. You Haven (& Safia, & many others) are always an inspiration to me. Your relentless hope & positivity to others - yet your stark openness & honesty - is what makes you all so fantastic. Life in adoption land is so very hard for many of us & I am so sorry you feel like this. I know I can't do much to help - but I am sending love & hugs. You are doing a wonderful, wonderful job as a mum & daughter. xxxx

Both mr PT and I have had secondary and primary trauma related to our AC. But I know and can testify that it is recoverable. But we have some scars. I found Kate Cairns good in this

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of what we went through with our 3rd adopted child. He had some therapy and still takes medication for depression but still finds it difficult to talk about any emotional topic, watch a TV program or film in case it triggers an emotional response etc. I also had mental health and trauma issues but found it easier to talk about the experience.