OK, Long post coming with another update. Good and Bad.
So our son is 7 now. Was kicked out of Nursery with in Foster care. Mainstream was a disaster for primary so we did the move to another mainstream with SRP provisions like mentioned before and the LA also agreed to fund a 1 to 1 for him. I mentioned before how things were not going well as his current school, well it got a whole lot worse. It got to the point where we found out that they were isolating him on his own in his own room which was actually a staff office. You could not swing a cat in this room it was tiny. They were not allowing him to play with other children and the kids would be antagonising him though a tiny window while he was only allowed to play alone. His 1 to 1 turned into 5 members of staff rotating to take turns looking after him. No learning was even attempted either, just colouring and playing with lego.
We were furious....The fact they didn't explain to us that they were doing this was disgusting. A member of staff even told us that they would hold the door so he couldn't get out of the room if he had a melt down. It explained why the violence and anger towards us was getting worse because he was so unregulated and down through isolation. The last straw for us was when he beat me senseless one morning because he didn't want to go to school (at this point we were trying to sort what alternatives we had) so we pulled him out of school. This was late April and he hasn't returned, nor will he return.
Firstly we went to see the GP who was shocked what we said and gave us a letter supporting us taking him out of school. Ive had to leave my job again to be at home as my husband needs to be at work as a police officer. We found online a SEN Advocate who knows the law inside out as well as EHCP and the whole process. We knew that if major things were going to happen, we needed help. We found a gentleman in London and while to date he has cost us about £1800, he has been worth his weight in gold.
Together we brought the ECHP Meeting forward and he completed ripped the school apart. They have failed our son massively. The EHCP anyway isn't fit for purpose as it's already reading quite outdated but during our review meeting I was shocked at the schools silence. They're reasoning for isolation were disgusting and the really didn't understand our sons needs at all. Our advocate came up with a list of ways the school were discriminating our son because of his disabilities including him coming home with dirt pants where we cannot wipe himself. The emotional damage the isolation was doing so we put a request to move to ANOTHER school but have specified that is has to be specialist school that can make the needs. It's already gone to a panel for a change of placement and we are just waiting for a result. LA Case worker thinks it will get approved.
Once we can get him moved, our Advocate is going to help us put in formal complaint to the school and LA at how awful they have treated our son. We aren't going to sew them but someone has to be accountable. This school should not be given SRP funding. From what ive heard, they have been failing several children with higher needs.
All while this has been going on, We went to the Evilina in London for an Autism assessment. We have had to have follow up calls but they have come back to us to confirm that they can give him a 'working diagnosis' of autism. He scored on their assessment levels where they are comfortable to say he has Autism but also want to do further work with him Ince he's in a new school so firm up their diagnosis. For us, we expected the diagnosis but its the start of a journey to explore it more and get him the right support he needs through that.
Sleep continues to be an ongoing issue. Takes 2-3 hours a night to get him settled and asleep. We were prescribed Piriton but it doesn't touch the sides. Separate clinic have received a sleep diary from us and are going to see him at the beginning of August. The Evilina agree with us that he needs to be on Menotonin but when I spoke to the sleep clinic they want to try behavioural changes first. I burst into tears on the phone... We have tried everything over the last 3 years, There's nothing else I can do. Hopefully a word from the Evilina may help support us get stronger medication to help us.
He is continuing Play Therapy after a 4 month Gap as funding ran out. Luckily, Post Adoption picked this up and have initially agreed to fund a years worth of sessions with a coach up meeting every 3 months with us and LA to see how things are going which is great as we weren't getting that before.
Daily life if im honest is hell on earth. Where he isn't at school, he's lost all his routine, He refuses to do a sort of learning at home and he's behaviour has become so extreme. Me and my husband are beaten, spat in the face, scratched and bitten most days. His swearing is disgusting and he says words we would never say as adults. Its shocking. Nothing we do works and he totally controls us.
For me it has become such a struggle that I had to go to my GP and he's put me on anti-depresance for now. It has helped somewhat but I dread getting up the next day. Ive thought about leaving as its affected my marriage so much, even to the point where I resent my son a lot. The medication is helping me but I know I'm going to have to do some serious work to rebuild our relationship.
We are also going to start looking into a medication that maybe calm his anger as that the biggest thing for us.
So while every day is a battle and I want to give up, tiny glimmers of light come through. Main thing is that this special school works this time