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May I remember you that it is August! Christmas is the end of December, do you really have nothing in the meantime to look forwards to?My advise would be keep it very low key, and do not mention it until December to prevent anxiety in the child.

Excuse me Pluto but I've already bought one main pressie and pre ordered another!!I really don't think writing to Santa via Royal Mail has any security implications! There are lots of ways of doing it though.And don't forget tracking Santa via NORAD

Lol I have already started thinking about what they would like, and they have already started to see the adverts for their santa list, it's less than 4 months :-O I think this is something that you can really build up the family traditions with and even the small things really matter. So in my opinion enjoy it even if you go low key, we did the first year, but we still had a lovely time. So go for it!

I'd strongly echo Pluto's advice about keeping it low key, especially the first year. Many adopted children do not "do" Christmas well.I've not heard of any security risks with Royal Mail and writing to Santa either, but one child I fostered used to write her letter then burn it (safely!) as she thought the letter would get up the chimney then. There are also lots of online options, but probably less secure than Royal Mail... I personally like the simple traditions of putting out a carrot for Rudolph, decorating a tree together, baking gingerbread together to go on the tree etc best.

We may be really boring, but we decided to not 'do' Santa. Our children have had so many lies & disappointments. And fears....people coming down the chimney at night?! All too much for our little pickle. But we do family traditions, starting at the beginning of December. Just little things and yes, very low key..but fun

Ohhhh please please manage YOUR expectations. I so wouldn't worry about Royal Mail security but more perhaps about what you are expecting from Christmas. And maybe think about what your adopted child thinks of Christmas. Christmas can be an incredibly stressful time for adopted children. For those from functional families Christmas has cosy, warm and happy memories but for others it can evoke many traumatic and frightening emotions. Many might have been given presents that are then sold the next week at the car boot sale and during the festive period left alone for long periods during drunken festivities. For many of our children Christmas memories are ones of horror. I am sorry if I put a dampner on what you might be hoping for Christmas but I would keep it really low key to be on the safe side. This doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful or memorable time!

Low key or not, how about starting a tradition of making a tree decoration each...can do this each year and could be lovely as the years go by still having ones every Xmas since you've been a family.....Or starting making the Xmas tags...again something you can start doing and look forward to going, particularly when wet/dark days draw in...doesn't matter how early you start them and could keep quiet for ages !!Could include own Xmas cards from kids to family members....all draft ideas but lovely tradition could start, is cheap & doesn't matter how soon you start is start collecting boxes, sweet wrappers etc for decoration....All low key but nice things to do when they get bored

It is not about buying a present when you find a good deal, that can be done year round, no problem there as the children do not know. Writing a list of wishes with the children in August is building expectations and excitement and possible stress what than can be carried by the child for 4 months, that might be a bit much.

I am not sure the original poster actually said they wanted the LO to write the letter in August just that they were thinking about the idea and had decided against it.I understand fully that not all adopted children can "do" christmas, however there are a fair few who can "do" christmas and absolutely love it, i know a fair few myself.So i suppose I am saying you know your own LO best and if you know they can "do" it then good on you for getting your traditions ready.I have a fair few traditions in the pipe line for when our LOs arrive but it comes down to assessing whether they can "do" them or not, taking their age when taken into care into account along with the nature of the FC and their little personalities when we met them we are confident christmas will be magical. My ideas in the pipeline are - christmas elf (throughout december)- christmas eve hampers - letting them decorate their own tree (im rather proud of my xmas tree so i will be buying them their own to decorate that they can fill with their own handmade decs we will make together and homemade gingerbread- Setting the nativity up together whilst telling the story- visiting santa- lots of christmas bedtime stories in december- handmade cards and decorationsHowever all that said, some of these will take off some wont, but as long as our LOs are happy thats all that matters.Daisy

I actually think starting planning in August is a good idea. Why?Well for us it normalises Christmas and spreads it out over several months and so there are no surprises!For our son surprises are one of the main causes of meltdowns. We once only bought 1 pack of yu-gi-oh cards and it ruined our Christmas. Another time we waited for my parents and they were 2 hours late! A few years ago I collected all the advice on here about Christmas and if you think that would be helpful I'll send you a copy by pm as its quite long!

Daisy I do not want to blow your bubble but by the time it is December you are probably so tired with 2 newly placed toddlers that you can no longer be bothered about christmas angles, or hampers, let alone having 3 trees in the house . Everyone has those ideas how it will be after placement, for many those never realise the way hoped for.It is totally imagenable that by than you will be happy if YOUR tree is still standing upright on the end of the day,

It is lovely to be planning ahead. I think the making decorations for the tree is a lovely idea. Perhaps you could get them each a small stocking too that comes out every year, also get an advent card WITHOUT chocolate. That was my mistake. Son couldn't wait and had eaten them all by December 2!!Let them open a small gift on Christmas eve, put out the milk and carrot for the reindeer, leave a small present to be opened on boxing day. I think there is comfort in the same old ornaments coming out every year so hang onto them. I also bought santa books to read in the evenings which also explained it was a nice thing. Read through before buying in case you are uncomfortable with anything. One year I bought a personalised Christmas story book with my son's name in it and his school friends names. He thought it was brilliant and I read that to him for quite a few nights.

How lovely that you are giving Christmas such care & forethought. I too love Christmas & like to plan ahead BUT my BD who has Aspergers has completed ALL her Christmas shopping; created planners for meal timings etc. & purchased wrapping paper etc. Unfortunately she likes to have control & is building it up for being a nightmare as she's inflexible with plans. Ahhhhh.My thoughts are:check what they have done in the past, what beliefs they have etc, particularly if they have been in fostercare - this goes for Borthdays, Christmas & Easter or other cultural celebration times - we learnt a few things.Our family traditions:-stocking in the lounge so no fears of stranger coming in their rooms in the dark night-mulled wine (us) & mulled cranberry & ginger beer AD-friends & neighbours with families & occassional guest for Christmas Eve mulled wine & mince pies then all outside round the outside tree for singing Christmas Carols (percussion instruments provided)

hithis will be our LO's 2nd christmas with us, he was only with us 4 months when we celebrated the first, and I can safely say he is definitely one of those children who just love the hype and the magic involved with celebrating this season. so much so, that he has been torturing us since March as to when Santa will be visiting again. We also celebrate Christmas day with lots of family traditions, that our son simply loved.so far, i have managed to get the main thing that he is looking for already, and will be adding to this over the course of the next few months. personally i think starting early is a good IdeaOn the writing to Santa, we got him to write his letter and then (safely) let him put it in the fire, so that the magic wind would carry it to santa all the way up in the North pole.DD

ran out of space!-quiet Christmas girls open their stockings with us in lounge-sometimes VERY early-Christmas DVDs avaiable for adults to snooze & recover-I cook a smaller turkey so more room in the oven & do a 2nd one for cold if I feel like it-we have gammon & jacket potatoes every Christmas Eve (then cold gammon for other times)- decorating a gingerbread house is fun & nice for picking the odd sweety off- I still do chocolate Advent calenders & have lovely photos of littlies in their hiding places tucking in to the months chocolate - they love to hear the stories of how cheeky they were with their chocolate- to avoid arguments we now get 2 same sized boxes for AD & BD & put their presents from close family in there to avoid "you've got more than me" - when little size matters! I bulk out any descrepancy with appropriate sized soft toy.- when young had one pressie Christmas Eve & tried to make it a calming DVD or storybook-mixing Christmas cake/puddings together & making a wish-opening birth siblings & foster carers gifts before Christmas to avoid identity confusion on the day-have flexible plans for meltdowns - on 2 occassions AD has needed to have er food delivered to her room & eat her meal alone-adults have champagne & canopies at 12 & girls enjoy snacks so easier to cope (me with in-laws & stressful kitchen); girls to cope with culinary delays & getting hungry which triggers them both-only have us & either my parents or in-laws for Christmas Day so quieter-home made crafts through December - paper chains are good- have never threaded popcorn but might try it (I expect it would all be eaten)-keep one or two pressies back for Boxing Day or whenever just so not overwhelmed & also beats the post pressie blues-hubby & I often have an adult relaxing time late Christmas Eve waiting for them to be asleep & take time to reflect, open a gift to each other & enjoy ourselves- buy 2 identical stockings each - hang up & one to pre-fill in case the disturbance wakes girls -we also get into PJs & rumple the bed so if we're heard we can pretend we were also disturbed-Christmas often starts at 4.30am here!!!Enjoy building your own traditins- it can be wonderful-used to manage Christingle service & Nativity-have a plan A & a fall back lower key plan B Ho, Ho, Ho

Our AD was placed in October (almost three years ago) and we took the first Christmas very gently as it was only 8 weeks in. We had no-one to stay except my sister and nieces for a day trip, a lovely little tree, a few presents, lots of cuddles and baking, a few close friends with children dropping in briefly. AD was grieving for her losses (she was 18 months old on placement) and was very wobbly and vulnerable - we felt she needed not to be overwhelmed.Second Christmas in was a different story! Very sociable and all the little traditions, carrots for reindeer, a snowy footprint (icing sugar) by the fireplace, Christmas wish letter to Santa posted (c/o Nana in fact so we can keep it) - and AD loved it all.Now coming up to 4th Christmas with her. She's so into it. On a recent car journey we were playing a version of 20 questions (guessing who the other is thinking of...is it male or female? someone in our family? a real person or someone in a story? etc) - she started off saying 'it's a real person' then led me on a merry dance before saying 'mummy, it's Father Christmas!'. Am rubbish at shopping early though - usually all of a rush in December.

My Mum arranged for Santa to write! Through the NSPCC I think - a letter with some personalized bits, and not the security problems. The girls loved it and couldn't work out how Santa knew When littly got a bit worried about strangers coming into our house I explained that Grandma had had a little chat with Father Christmas, as they were friends...

It will be our first Christmas together too, and whilst I understand some children's anxieties, it just isn't the case for my LO, so I agree with what has been said, trust your own instincts about your own children, no one knows better than you what they can cope with! We have no choice about starting early... Children's TV is ramping up the advertising, various catalogues have been pushed through the door and LO already has a list by the side of her bed to add to as she thinks of things. I have told LO that letters to Santa can be delivered the same way as teeth to the tooth fairy. She will put her letter under her pillow and I can type a response that is much more personalized (and which will also explain that Santa understands we will be at Grandma's house and we will need presents delivering there!)For us it's about creating new memories, new traditions and the whole magical package, so first Christmas or not, we will be doing the whole kit and kaboodle!

Mine have all always managed Christmas and birthdays and love them. That parts fine.What's not so easy is the run up - the change of routine in school - well, no routine really. All the concerts, the sitting still for hours on end, the expectation to behave and all that practicing they're expected to do.Christmas is the easy part!