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Yes lots but I guess it would depend on how you define success. This question had come up fairly frequently - maybe take a look through previous threads to get a heads up. Good luck

Spot on Donatella, it depends on what you think of as success. I adopted 9 years ago and my AD is now 13. It's been hard work but I have never once regretted it. However, I do grieve for the person she should have been as trauma damages our children and, although bright, she is emotionally scarred and to some extent she will carry this through her life. I would recommend Sally Donovan's "No Matter What" as an easy read but informative picture of what adoption looks like to many of us. Best wishes

Yes, it's a bit like how schools are assessed in league tables. The ones who have to start with sink estate kids point out that, while they may have lower results in external exam, they often move kids progress and achievements forward by a much bigger amount that schools whose starting point is upper middle class kids. I.e from 1 to 5 is a greater amount of progress than 7-9. I call my kids " overcomers" because of the progress they have made in life, even though they still have significant issues to deal with thanks to their past. They are definitely success stories. ( see Adopters forum, small things thread for , and the whole Good news forum further down the page from " adopters with birth children" forum, for details. Best Wishes on your journey.

It depends what you think of as "very" negative and it depends on your reasons for adopting We adopted a 4 year old 3 years ago when our birth son was 9 it has not been wholly negative or positive it has been ups and downs - with snippets of joy and snippets of extreme pain and is not likely to change in the short term though the troughs are beginning to reduce AS can still be very controlling, competitive, defiant/awkward and needs a lot of 1-1 attention with hindsight, I believe he should have been adopted as an only child This is totally not what BS imagined - despite what we felt was a lot of preparation BS is now 11, entering hormonal stage and gets frustrated wth his little brother and his ways Much of this is normal sibling stuff, but he does not have the patience or understanding to manage him therapeutically [and does not understand that we do not discipline AS in the traditional way] as a result escalating the issues. He is frustrated at the time it is taking AS to "settle down" Other times, when AS is in the mood, they can have a loving relationship and BS is very caring and understanding and they can have fun 70% of the time we are functioning on an even keel and feel that it is worth it Would we do it again? DH is more positive than me, but for me, the jury is still out I would say it has had a negative impact on BS to date and our family life is no where near as easy as it used to be with one securely attached independent child. So it has been HARD, stressful and emotionally draining. However, we didn't do it for us, we did it for the child who needed a stable and loving family So, in the long term, if AS is able to go out into the world and function as a happy and secure person and BS is not adversley affected in his life as a result, then I would say it was worth it Regrdless of what age your adopted child is, you really will be re-setting your life as though you have a new toddler in your house - estabilhing your rules, boundaries etc so you need the energy and patience for that Good Luck with whatever you decide

I think you should check out previous threads relating to those who adopted with birth children as it is clearly a very different set of circumstances and of course you have your birth child/ren to consider - I'm sure there were lots of useful information on the threads. I don't have birth children but have become a mum thanks to the crazy world of adoption and, whilst I have experienced huge highs and lows, it is the best thing I've done - I have become a mum! Good luck with the process

I’ve just found this ... lots of responses so worth a read through https://forum.adoptionuk.org/forum-topic/thinking-adoption

I would agree with Callie... our BD was 14 when we adopted a five year old. In some ways it is a success story as he has made a lot of progress and is a wonderful, funny boy, but there have been many times I have wished my BD did not go through what she has as a result of our decision... having said that, all our lives have been enriched in some ways and I do believe my BD has been exposed to a whole aspect of the world she would not have known about and it has helped her towards being the compassionate understanding person she is now. It is definitely not easy and the attention our AS needs has taken away a lot of the attention our BD would have had. We rarely do anything as a family of four and rarely anything now with our BD unless AS is asleep. it works better that way but can feel a bit sad, though we have all got used to that and now value a smooth day over anything else!! Good luck with your decision! Xx

Our circumstances are similar to Bigmrs. Our BD was also 14 when we adopted our son who was aged 2. He is now 10 and BD 23. It was/is a path about balancing my sons complex needs and trying to support BD through exams/uni etc. It has impacted our daughter both neg/pos. She has as Mrsbig said been exposed to a world she would never have experienced. At times she resents the fact that our sons needs dominate our lives, my son is prone to meltdowns which can be violent. When my AD lived at home this was the thing she found hardest to deal with. She credits our adoption journey as one of the main reasons she became a nurse,and i do feel she has become a more caring, tolerant person with a greater level of understanding due to living with her brother. We can only do things as a family of 4 if they are specific to my sons needs, lots of outdoors stuff. We can't attend social events as a family of 4 as my son wouldn't manage, so there is always a split either my BD and i go to things or DH and her go, i know she finds this hard but as she has matured she understands/accepts it.