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Adopted Daughter showing prefrence to my wife more than me

kdougie January 29, 2018 07:14
We have had our adopted daughter for 1 year now and has recently turned 3 years old. She attached to me (mammy), almost immediately ans has since abiut 3 weeks ago. She now shows preference to my wife, i.e. wanting her now wheb daughter wKes up during the night, wanting wife to take her to the toilet etc. I work part time and wife works full time, so I am guessing daughter misses her mummy. We both have differing parenting styles, me a more firm but loving my wife a little softer but firm when needed. Not sure how long this will go on for but I am feeling rejected. When daughter was attached to me my wife didnt feel like I do, although if she did she did not voice her feelings. Anyone been through same?
Edited 17/02/2021
pingu123 January 29, 2018 08:12
I remember reading somewhere that children who are adopted usually have to begin by attaching to one parent and then the other. It's not something many can do in tandem. She is not rejecting you, it's actually because she knows her relationship with you is sound, she now feels safe enough to branch out with her second attachment figure. It's also slower because your partner is not around so much. Don't worry, she will be pestering you again soon enough, enjoy the break from full on for a bit ! Best Wishes Pingu
Edited 17/02/2021
Upandaway10 January 29, 2018 08:33
Oh it must feel tough for you. But yes, totally ‘normal’ behaviour for children, especially adopted children. Try not to see it as a rejection, be there and present just as much as normal and I’m sure this phase will morph into a new one.
Edited 17/02/2021
westi February 15, 2018 19:45
Pingu you are so on the ball with your explanation! totally agree with you though it is quite difficult dealing with the "rejection" x
Edited 17/02/2021
Anita March 9, 2018 20:20
Hi Kdoughie, We have these phases. Our daughter is with us now nearly 6 years. And it still hurts the one who is left out, but you just have to sit it out.
Edited 17/02/2021

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