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Hi Bop, No experiences, our BF can't even manage letterbox contact. I guess my concern would be over managing your DD's expectations, as I guess there is a good chance that he may not respond at all :-( Do you know if anyone in SS has any contact with him? You've obviously done a great job helping your DD understand her life story, and in helping her develop compassion for others.

We re-established contact with BM after about 3 years gap, and it has been positive. But she is more settled - still not in a great place but at least able to turn up, sober, tell the girls she loves them etc. I think knowing that she is still important to them has helped her too. BUT, I also think we've been very lucky - she has been able to stabilise a bit, and the girls (esp ED) are mature enough to appreciate what she can do and forgive her for what she can't do. She was never violent or deliberately harmed them, and fully supports their relationship with me. Children thinking they can/wanting to 'save' parents is dangerous. Put as many safeguards in place as possible, and don't give away personal details. Prepare your girls as well as possible for the likely outcome. At some point we have to stand back and let our children find things out for themselves. Only you can tell whether this is the time for your DDs.

Thanks guys. Tokoloshe its good to hear that it has worked for you. I am worried that she wants to "save" him and I have tried to talk through that is often not possible. I have tried getting SW support but sadly our excellent PASW left last week (typical!). I am wondering whether she does need more information about him and need their help to access it; after that she can decide what she wants to do next - I'd prefer her to wait a little longer as I think a negative response could really throw her.