Edited 17/02/2021
The Wall
Sockthing
February 13, 2013 17:07
I can''t look at this because I have Apple which doesn''t allow Adobe Flash.i would really like a paper version of the wall...maybe as a factsheet.Its such a common issue for adopters that the outside world doesn''t understand that adopted children often need a different style of parenting. I''ve lost count of the number of times I wished I had a paper copy of the Wall to keep in my handbag, and dish out to unconvinced family members.The Attachment factsheet is great and has its place but is not quite the same thing and feels quite " heavy" in its approach in a way the Wall does not, and doesn''t if i remember rightl explain about parenting approaches.Another factsheet that would be helpful would be something simple about why infants are affected by preverbal traumatic experiences. I''m fed up with people being disbelieving of my sons emotional responses because he came to us at 10 months old and " won''t rememebr anything".
Lemonade
April 16, 2013 17:23
Wasn't sure where to post this, but is the 'Wall' still available on this site? I am unable to find it. It was very useful with my ad2 and I think my ad1 is ready for it now, it helps explain so easily why they have certain feelings of loss.Hope someone can help me find it again.ThanksLemonade
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bovary
April 16, 2013 20:40
It should be at the left hand side of the screen (with a pic of a Dad and child). I can't open it as I have Google Chrome as my browser - apparently if you have internet explorer it should open.I agree, it would be great to have a paper version of this. It's a lot easier to get professionals to look at a bit of paper you shove in their hand than expect them to look up a web address!
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Jellies
April 17, 2013 10:09
Just had a new hard drive and have google Chrome. Just checked and you are right Bovary can't get into the wall - b*gger ! I very often tell new adopters locally to look at the wall and show it to nearset and dearest to help them to get it.I hope that we will all be able to access it again , whether we have adobe or not on the revamped website - WHENEVER - that happens (don't get me started on that one though).So, in the interim, yes, AUK PLEASE, get a vwersion sorted that we can print off asap. Obviously that would not be interactive like the latter versions of the wall would be - but would be helpful nevertheless.Jellies
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Mummamoo
April 17, 2013 11:57
Hi.I found the paper scrunching exercise really helpful to explain that adoption isn't a cure for our children's past.You take a clean, crisp sheet of white paper, and you screw it up or fold it as you name the traumas your child has suffered, eg:In utero stress - scrunch.Lack of bonding with BM - scrunch.Left to cry - scrunch.Seperated from BM - scrunch.etc, etc, you get the idea!Then you smooth out the paper as you name the positives in their life now, eg:Stability - smooth.Regular meals - smooth.Praise - smooth.etc, etc.What you can now demonstrate is that the paper does not look good as new. The creases will always be in the paper, regardless of how many more times you smooth it, tho' it is better than scrunched in a ball and could be useful again. The paper (and your child) will always show the signs of damage but will improve with time.HTH
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Jellies
April 17, 2013 16:15
Mummamoo - I remember doing something similar on my prep course over 14 yrs ago but with a huge ball of string. The ball of string was perfect until it started to be unraveled with the first trauma (interestingly in those days the ball did not start to get tangled from day 1 of the pregnancy) . The string ended up in a right mess (depicting the child on placement with you), we then had to try to unravel it for every positive in the child's life thereafter. we had to find a way to untangle a bit of the mess, but no matter what number of postives there were, it was still a mess - just less of one.
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bovary
April 17, 2013 20:06
Nice idea! Jellies, I LOVE google chrome in all other ways - I can spellcheck on here now, and in FB! (not that you'd know that given the number of typos I still make!)
Edited 17/02/2021
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