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Hi

Welcome to the process, We said when we started the adoption journey, just tell the truth and trust the process. The Adoption Agency will not just rely on the testimony or view of one friend or relative and showing that you have experienced difficult times in relationships and have come through them will show that you can deal with adversity and understand difficult situations.

Our SW said that they were dubious about us adopting due to relationship histories and they sent us for an assessment session with a Psychologist to talk about our history as children, as a couple and in between as well as why we wanted to adopt now. It was actually a very interesting and revealing experience and Psychologist recommended us to continue in the process. Our lovely AS has been with us for over 7 years now!

There are loads of things to worry about during the process as its very emotional and also quite private that sort of stuff the adoption agency ask and get you to do, but go with the flow, tell the truth and be yourselves

All the best

Bx

Hi,

My hubby and I were approved for adoption last year and our CW was great in explaining that although they speak to past partners they don't take things as gospel, Before they contact your references and previous partner you will get to talk through your past (we had this split over about 6 meetings I think), they want to know all about you, your wife and your family as well as previous relationships and soo much more. They will go into alot of detail around that, all of which will be kept confidential so don't worry about them sharing your feelings and details (speak to your CW if you feel nervous about this, I am sure they will be able to reassure you). When they speak to your previous partner they will ask questions about your relationship and you as a person but they will take into account what you have already told them. We were very honest in our assessment meetings, its felt a little un-natural sharing soo much about ourselves but it gave the best picture about us and our past. We often said in the process that they know more about us now than anyone we know.

Try not to be nervous about the process, this is an exciting process which yes has its frustrating times but you will get through it together. While you may feel things in your past may reflect in a particular way your case worker is human, they have heard alot of peoples life stories and will be able to see your personal growth from your past to now. I wish you both all the best in your journey.

I also found this really emotive and difficult. In the end my ex husband didn’t respond to the letter that was sent to him so this was the best outcome I could hope for. The whole process is very emotive and demanding. I found all the the ex husband chat very distressing.