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Dear Cyndi

Welcome to the forums.

I just wanted to check (without judgement or in any way for you to feel you are not welcome!) that you understand that there are differing areas of this forum, and generally they have been used more for adoptive parents in the past?

You request seems heartfelt and of course, all our online users are extremely friendly and approachable, and may be able to offer you some online support, however, this may not be the best place to achieve your goal.

As you are based in London, have you thought about contacting some of the local agencies who may be able to support you directly? Coram, PACT Charity, and lots of others offer some really good support for adopted people, and like here, there are differing "tribes". I am also aware of some local support groups for adoptees that I can hook you into - should you want to.

I hope you are able to find what you are looking for, and of course, you are very welcome to interact on some of the topics on these online forums. We are ALWAYS keen to hear the perspective of an adopted person - it can help us to parent our own adoptees - and put them in a better place.

Best wishes

Scott

As well as those organisations suggested by Scott above which are specific to supporting adult adoptees I was going to suggest accessing therapy as a way of understanding your early experiences and how these have impacted you - it also provides a different relationship which can address some of the aspects you have missed in your earliest relationships - a new "model" attachment. I am speaking from experience here as someone who is currently having therapy with an excellent experienced person. I think who you choose is key and some of these organisations might be able to refer you to appropriate services or recommend specific therapists. Another one to look into is the Bowlby Centre as their therapy is very attachment focused. Something else I was going to suggest is (if you are a Christian) maybe joining a church where you can get that feeling of being part of a "family" which you are missing. A support group might also provide the same if you do not feel this is something for you.

Now, if there was a like button, I would be clicking it Safia!

Thanks Scott - it won't be long I'm sure!

Thank you so much for responding to me, that's really helpful. It would be great to know more about the support groups Scott. And indeed Safia, I have done many therapies and continuing to take them, but they only go so far. I think joining groups would be a great support xoxox

No problem Cyndi... I am just getting the contact details for you and will DM you later when I have them.

ty xx

You are welcome! ☺️