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I have a checklist:One paragraph showing they are growing up e.g. getting taller, losing teeth, riding a bike.One paragraph saying what they enjoy and are interested in doing.One paragraph that says life isn't perfect, but we are doing our best e.g. we're working hard to help them settle at school and meeting frequently with teachers or we are trying to find ways they can play together without fighting and the Wii has been a hit.One paragraph saying that we love them and are ever so pleased to have them and will always take care of them and encourage them to grow and explore.Working through my checklist helps me. But I think letterbox is very hard. Good luck!Remember, it's for the sake of the children. I always write with one eye for what the boys might think of the letters when they're old enough (or interested enough!) to read them.

I write one from the heart, then my husband rips it up and writes the one we send .We do similar to REM but her (his?) idea of a checklist is brilliant! I'll suggest this to my husband. XX

We try to keep it factual and fairly basic. Mostly what they have enjoyed, what they are good at, any milestones they may have reached. Hand write it so it looks longer and you don't have to write much. We enclose a few photos and ask the children if they want to say or send anything (e.g. they will make Mothers day cards for BM as well as us)

Thank you so much for your thoughts - the checklist idea has really helped and I am going to draft the letter now.Here goes!Brimble

hello BrimbleI would most definitely question with the letterbox people how this letter got through to you, and as has been suggested, return it as not acceptable to you/your AD...?It would be interesting to find out whether it got through accidently or whether the letterbox co-ordinator thinks the content is okay, and to maybe have a chat about this (it sounds a dreadful letter). Maybe you have already done this.