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meeting BM
morgan01
July 26, 2009 22:52
we have been pre approved for a sibling group - their SW said that their 13 year old sister would like to meet us to enable her to ''move forward''as she looked after her younger other 3 sister and brothers during domestic violence and no basic care given by parents although this will be very emotionally we feel we ought to meet her to allow her to move forward but also to thank her for keeping our two little ones alive long enough for SW to take them to a safer placebut BM wants to meet us - i work in drug and alcohol service but this one is very difficult for me to deal with - already i feel anger to her - but on a professional side there may be a very high risk of her meeting me some day in a drug service as she uses drugs thought i could meet BM but i am using my job as an excuse whilst i feel this anger towards her
tangerine
July 26, 2009 23:04
We never met BM because of safety fears, but even at this early stage I wish we had. I appreciate the predicament you find yourself in through work and I think that it is a strong consideration.Meeting BPs makes them real-and when as your children are growing up they fantasise about this person, it will need you to be grounded as to who the BP really is.BPs very rarely hate their children, they are just incapable of making the right choices and doing the right thing, most adopters find the BPs have a very pie in the sky perception as to what has gone wrong with the children. So the person you meet may not seem a monster. They also don't seem to realise what adoption actually means to them it is glorified foster care. Meeting BM will enable you to answer questions that your children will want to know as they get older. A picture of you all for them shows they were not just yanked away, and makes the BP more of a real life figure rather than a fantaasy one. In short as angry as you are-and why wouldn't you be, if you can meet the BM briefly it can be very positive to placement. All of that said, sometimes the BPs don't show, don't say anything or talk drivel, but at least you know you tried.
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cuggley
July 28, 2009 08:05
I have sent you a PM
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boobookitty
July 28, 2009 08:12
I have pm'd you.
Edited 17/02/2021
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