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Sunflower26 February 21, 2022 09:41

Hi,

My 6 year old adopted daughter came out of the swimming pool with scratches on her hand that looked like nail marks. At the time she spotted them and she was genuinely shocked to see them. I could not work out at all how she couldn’t know they were there til she saw them! I took her home cos it was after 6pm and she needed tea. I was puzzled. I wondered if I’d accidentally caught her with my nails but there’s no way. The marks were too deep and not in a place on her hand you could accidentally do it holding her hand etc. Plus she didn’t cry out in pain. My husband questioned her at bedtime and she still had no idea how she got them.

Fast forward 24 hours and the school had a social worker, police etc and I’ve been accused of deliberately digging my nails into her!!!! I didn’t!!

My daughter has some degree of learning difficulty and nothing is diagnosed yet but her communication isn’t that of a six year old. Birth mum has learning difficulties too. Birth mum also tells a lot of stories like a small child might.

The teacher asked how she got the marks and she said I did it!!!! She’s never done this before. She regularly tells stories but not like this.

Three days after the marks were found she casually mentioned that in her swimming lesson she jumped in and went under so her teacher pulled her up!!!! She then needed the toilet desperately ( she’d soiled herself earlier and I think was scared that might happen again) so she went to the toilet. I know this as she was in the toilet at collection time. My guessing is the teacher accidentally caught her hand whilst quickly grabbing her up. The water and temperature maybe numbed the pain plus she was focussed on needing a poo fast. Hence not knowing the marks had happened until after.

I’ve had to have a very gruelling long police interview!

Social services absolutely will not entertain the idea I’m innocent. They absolutely won’t. I’m not allowed with the kids on my own!!! They say I have to admit I did it in order to lift the restrictions!!!! But I didn’t do it. Ever since my daughter has said I didn’t do it. But they don’t care about that.

Very scared because the only way out is confessing to something I didn’t do.

We’ve approached the swimming pool who have forwarded it o safeguarding but the social worker won’t even explore that option.

My daughter will make up a story if she’s asked a question she doesn’t know the answer to. But nobody will listen to us.

Donatella February 21, 2022 12:45

I think in these horrendous circumstances you may need some legal advice. Probably worth contacting the AUK helpline in the first instance.

It all seems an awfully heavy handed way to deal with allegations.

windfalls February 24, 2022 13:36

Sunflower you need a solicitor asap. I hope when you were interviewed by the police you had a solicitor present. At the very least you should have been offered the duty solicitor. Under no circumstances admit to something that you did not do. Speak to your solicitor and give them the details of the swimming instructor and get them to contact her and take a statement, although if you mentioned this during your interview the police should be following this up. When your daughter came out of the pool did anyone hear you mention what happened to her hand? If so give details to your solicitor so they can contact them. Any of the other children see the instructor pull her out of the water- I should imagine it would have caused a bit of a commotion? Again give details to your solicitor. You need evidence that the injury was caused accidentally by the instructor when saving your daughter - just incase the instructor panics when questioned by the police and denies causing the injury. Also get evidence of your daughter's conditions also did she ever spend time with birth mum before being removed? Could she be confusing you with what her birth mum did? This often happens with adopted children.

I assume the social worker isn't with post adoption- if so get in touch with post adoption team who know your daughter and see what help they can offer. Hopefully they may be able to talk some sense into this incompetent person. Speak to your local MP too - although s/he may not want to get involved if there is an ongoing police investigation. Once the police drop the case get your solicitor to lodge a formal complaint about the conduct of this social worker with the director of children's services.

Ask your solicitor to also contact your daughter's school and get them to confirm that they have never had any safeguarding concerns about you.

I assume you will have been bailed pending further enquiries so please get a good criminal solicitor to represent you. Make sure the firm has a civil litigation department so that once the police investigation is over, they can advise you about any action/damages you can pursue against the completely over the top reaction from the social worker. At the stage of making the complainant definitely also get your MP involved.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Xxx

windfalls February 24, 2022 13:54

Just to add her pressuring you to admit guilt is completely outrageous and is bullying. Do not let her get away with it or them get away with it. It amounts to duress - make sure you mention it to the police and your solicitor and MP. Make sure you record any conversations with social services/worker - follow up any telephone conversations with an email confirming what was discussed. Better still tell them to contact your solicitor as I am sure they will be looking to obtain further evidence against you.

Sending hugs. Xxx

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