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Really love your post Libertas - and what a wonderful, wonderful achievement for your big girl. Definitely worth shouting from the rooftops! Although very sad to hear health issue news - & also that her friend will not be going to the same school. As always in Planet Adoption good news never comes on its own. xxxx

Congratulations to Big Girl and to you. Sorry to hear about the health issue and the friend not passing 11 plus :-(

Try not to worry about the health issue from the achievement point of view (though no doubt you will from the health point of view) - she’s clearly able to make the most of the opportunities available to her (with your help) and that’s the most important thing - well done to you both - it’s a massive achievement! Regarding the best friend - that’s very common - can they meet up / keep in touch out of school? At least she’s had an experience of making a good friend and hopefully that will help her make another

Well done to your daughter. Whatever the future may bring, she has made a good friend and overcome a poor start to achieve good educational opportunities . All the best Johanna

wow well done Big Girl, amazing achievement. Hopefully the health issue can be managed. But its amazing what young people can achieve even with serious issues. We were at Simba's school awards evening on Thursday, there was an amazing young lady, she has no legs ( quite high above the knee amputations) she has just made the england under 24 team for a major wheelchair sport, she also had an award for dance - they showed a film of her - incredible piece of dance by any standards

Ah, thanks all, I immediately had poster’s regret after pressing ‘save’ on my post and have only just dared to look at my responses! I know schools and education and educational outcomes is such a thorny/sensitive issue on these forums (let’s face it, the very fact that the majority of our children can ‘perform’ in a classroom is so bl**dy. astonishingly wonderful that it often moves me to tears when I read of our children’s successes in here). I think I just wanted to post about Big Girl’s academic achievement to people here who would understand what an absolutely massive achievement it is - after such a terrible start in life. People we know in real life seem to take success in academia as a matter of course for their children. The 11+ letters also got me thinking about the genes Big Girl has inherited - there was a post here in recent days saying that intelligence was 80% heritable - and the fact that, in another world, and with the right support, her birth parents could have achieved too. Sadly, their demons won out in the contest with their natural intelligence and Big Girl’s birth father was dead before the age of 30 and I dread news of birth mother following suit imminently. I would love, for once, for Big Girl to feel total, unalloyed joy in her (rare) successes - she never feels she’s good enough - but I was reassured by her empathy for the feelings of her best friend and her best friend’s mum and family. It’s all so complex and strangely worse to be on the receiving end of brilliant news than it is to be on the receiving end of bad news; or maybe that’s just 10 years of conditioning as an adopter?! Anyway, Big Girl is now allowing herself to feel excited by the prospect of Y7 in the grammar school of her choice, and I’m assured that the health issue will be managed competently there. As for the health issue, it is degenerative and will limit Big Girl’s opportunities in life, but, strangely, maybe because our default setting is always to expect the sh*t to hit the fan and things to never run smoothly, because into each life some rain must fall, we - and Big Girl, in particular - are doing ok and really resigned to what will be, will be, but in a positive way. Thanks all for being so gracious in your responses to what may have seemed like a bragging post.

I understand your feelings (although I never heard the phrase 'poster's regret'....have used the delete button a few times but didn't know there was a name for those feelings!) Not bragging at all Libertas. How wonderful that the cycle is being broken. Also as someone else said it is great that your daughter is able to make a friend (and your recent post about her empathy bodes well for her). Just thinking about how on the boards we celebrate together in the good times and commiserate with each other when it 'rains' I thought of something in the New Testament 'Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep'. We 'get it' Libertas. I'm glad you posted. Larsti xx

its not bragging at all, its hard work paying off and showing the potential all our kids have. These successes give everyone a little bit of hope

It’s not bragging at all! It’s lovely news and so pleased for your daughter and you all. She should be very very proud of herself. And well done to you all for supporting her to achieve this. You sound like a lovely family. It’s so important for all of us to hear success stories like these. I’m very sorry to hear about her illness. But sounds like you are all managing so well and positively. Well done again xxxx

Not only that - people are always commenting that there aren't enough positive posts - especially new people who want reassurance - so you are almost duty bound to report something positive! Its a really hard mix - the nature / developmental trauma / nurture thing - and you never know how it will work out so its really great when something wonderful like this happens and gives you a boost that can keep you going for such a long time and is so significant for your daughter and her feelings about herself and what she can do. It also really helps put things into perspective for others when they can relate this to your previous posts too.. Your comments about other parents just taking this sort of success as a given really rings a bell too - I feel a bit for their children because actually its never a given - there's a lot of luck involved and maybe struggles of another sort and not appreciating their achievement and taking it for granted whilst expecting more great things can backfire long term. Your daughter is so lucky to have not only the support and understanding she has but also the enormous appreciation for what she has achieved.

That is what Good News is all for! Congratulations!!! Big Girl is clearly doing fantastically well. I hope she enjoys it to the fullest and will have an amazing time at her grammar school. Massive congratulations to you too, as you are clearly doing an amazing job as her mum! I am very sorry the brilliant news came along with such sad news. I hope as science advances there will be something to help her condition and if not, that she will have a very long time until things get worse. I also hope she will be able to stay in touch with her best friend and make new friends at her new school.

Not bragging at all, this is fantastic news. So great to hear good news stories.

What a brilliant achievement for “big girl”, clearly she is doing well and will no doubt make freinds at her new school as well as keeping in touch with her old freind. As you say in our world the good comes with the bad hopefully the medical issue will stay away for as long as possible and I have no doubt your family will tackle whatever it throws at you with strength.

Hi Libertas - that really is amazing news, huge congratulations to your daughter. Disappointing for her friend of course, but hopefully the two of them can remain friends - I actually think it is hugely helpful for children at secondary school to have friends and people they know from outside their school, so that when friendship issues arise at school (as I'm sure they will - they seem to for all teenage girls!) they've got other people who they can hang out with out of school. LB

Major congrats:)