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Hello all. This is the first time I have posted - though I have found reading your posts really helpful. DS was placed with us just over 18 months ago aged 23 months. He had been with his FC for a year - removed from large birth family at 11 months. He experienced chronic neglect, witnessed violence and was probably on the receiving end too. The first year of placement was tough but things evolved, so I could see progress. To start with, he would scream when I came into the room, flinched if I moved my hands near to his head and ran to hide if there were any loud noises. He also hit me daily, triggered by me doing any of the normal care you do for a small toddler (changing nappy, helping up or downstairs, getting out of bath, putting in car seat). Initially this was clearly driven by fear. He was also keen to separate me from DH - and felt comfortable with DH and never showed any of the same behaviours to him. The hitting was not a soft overarm pat but a ragefull animalistic assault which left me with bruises and scratches on my face and handfuls of hair pulled out. This changed as he settled in. He is now comfortable with me, spontaneously kisses and hugs me, comes to sit on my lap etc. He seems firmly attached and no longer afraid or avoidant of contact and closeness with me. His Daddy preference has mostly gone, too. BUT the hitting has stayed. It''s different now - rarely does he pull my hair, no scratching or gouging. Instead soft overarm slaps and kicks on the shins. Triggers are different - no longer trying to keep me away and stop me looking after him but instead to try to control what I do or show defiance. This morning he had hit me three times by 7am. Not bad since he only got up at 6.30! So, he rarely hurts me now but he gets very cross and I do too. Cross and sad. This morning the hitting started when I tried to put his socks on. I wanted him to sit on a chair, he wanted to stand up. Ego battled ensued. I could let him ''win'' on everything but he just shifts what he wants to ''win'' on, and that just doesn''t seem viable. We ended this morning with him repeatedly hitting me over the head while I ( much later) eventually got his socks on. He eventually picked up a Tupperware box and started using that to hit me. Not nice. I have tried: holding him firmly on my lap ( talking to him about how hitting hurts), holding him and telling him I love him and he''s going to live with us for ever and ever, telling him to use soft hands with Mummy, getting him to sit on the sofa to think then apologise and hug, I''ve walked out of the room telling him I don''t want to play with a boy who hits. Gah! Running out of ideas and strategies. Any advice?