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its never ending
evelyn
July 24, 2013 17:38
how do you get a vulnerable 17year old who was failed by school, came out with nothing to actually engage in something and to accept that he can succeed at something. Self esteem non existent. He has been offered a job which he did for one day and enjoyed hugely but he just can''t allow himself to continue. He won''t engage in the Princes Trust type stuff that I''ve organised - even when I step back and allow him to arrange on-going days of it (I thought they provided more mentoring type stuff - but obviously not). Becoming independent is a real problem, his past is a problem - he won''t engage with CAMHS (they are useless anyhow here) so they''re going to sign him off and the post adoption team have said he''s not on the case load now as he''s almost 18. I can''t do this any more - he might have sorted himself out in 5 years time or he might have topped himself in the meantime. (and that''s just the older one)
Corkwing
July 24, 2013 18:52
Sending you big hugs. Sounds like it's really hard right now.Love,Corkwing
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evelyn
July 24, 2013 19:03
Thank you Corkwing - really hard and the end is not in sight
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lilyofthevalley
July 24, 2013 19:52
Would he be able to attend college locally? Are there any courses that would suit him? Life can be very hard.Lily x
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Pear Tree
July 24, 2013 21:21
It's never ending I know.Apparently bryan post's adopted son is in a similar position as he shared at conference If you would like to get informed support, he may well email back. Try his website
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evelyn
July 24, 2013 23:55
The support for transition to college was non existent despite my telling them lots of times what was needed and he got kicked out in February (thats a long story!) Wish I'd gone to the conference with Brian Post - but I have kind of got burnt out on the conference / information day side of things - if you all know what I meanIts 23.45 - at least he's home in bed tonight. Last night he spent the night in the woods with friends cooking on a camp fire (illegal to have fires!) and drinking beer and didn't come home until 8am. I got him to his Princes Trust style activity day, but after I'd gone he said he had a hang over and couldn't be trusted with the knives they would be using doing Bushcraft and he got sent home. I was so cross I wouldn't let him in the house (to sleep it off) and dragged him to town round the shops - I did buy him lunch (a spicy wrap and a bottle of water!), but nothing extra (a pair of shorts, ice-cream and doughnut were requested and denied!)with which he was deeply unimpressed. But strangely he didn't object to being with me - the old strategy 'can't trust you on your own so you have to stay with me' that was so useful when he was much younger was obviously in operation and working!
Edited 17/02/2021
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