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We opted for 'Mam and Dad' from the outset, as we thought that if we were called anything else, then it would be too hard for everyone to change at a later stage. Worked really well.

My boys were prepared by SW. She called us Mummy and Daddy and so the boys did from the onset.

Other gay parents have opted for 'daddy & papa' or 'mummy & mommy or mammy or mama'. I should add he's unlikely to have enough language for much more than 'mmmm' at first.

We opted for daddy and da and this choice the children are very happy and comfortable with.Im a bit confused with previous replies ie "mummy and daddy" this for me as a gay couple wouldn't be the names of choice for our children as it will prove to be very confusing not only for the child but also for the child's friends as they grow.Ours are very happy to have two male parents and are actually very proud of it too as their are no other same sex relationships in the school. I'm sure you will find the answer soon! Regards Westi

I imagine a couple of the posters viewed the thread from 'posted today in the forum' links so may not have realise this was posted in an LGBT board. We are mummy and mama, which works for us. they are different enough but both easily recognisable as parent names mummy and mum would have morphed to mum and mum anyway mummy x and mummy y we felt was too much of a mouthful for the kids and might have ended up being x and y which we didn't want We know plenty of mummy and mama's, including 2 other couples at the school, and socially families with daddy and papa's. So they seem like popular choices and it's important to our kids see their family reflected in others. Our children's SW introduced the names after matching and this was re-enforced by the introductions book that we printed. We got them muddled up a few times in the first few weeks but the kids corrected us... It's such a personal choice really.

Thanks everyone, as he is only 11months we will answer whatever word he uses ut later on i think mammy and mama will be the way forward. X

we are mummy xx and mummy xx.... usually he just calls us both mummy unless he wants one of us in particular then he adds mummy xx....

Interestingly, we were just asked this during a session with our social worker last night. I think we might go for 'Dad' and 'Pa'

I made a mistake- I didn't read the thread properly. My cousins are called ma and mummy.

We have been debating this. Think the options for gay fathers are a bit more difficult... Nothing sounds right.

Hopefully you will find something that sounds right for you but do remember it's also what feels comfortable with the child/rent as they will ultimately decide what to call you.Ours are very happy to call us daddy and da as are the friends of the kids at school who call me da! Hope you reach a happy conclusion. Westi

As foster carer who has moved on children to adoption, during the preparation we have said " new mummy's or new daddy's "

just out of curiosity where mummy/mum etc is one of the options what happens when the child becomes older and decides mummy is babyish and wants to resort to mum? it would be easy enough with a mama/da/pop etc option for the other parent, but when mum was chosen from the off for the other parent then you have two mums or two dads at some point. having had two children with the same name for a couple of years this caused untold confusion (and some amusement!) so possibly worth thinking about. i called my parents mummy and daddy until i was in my early teens then shortened it to mum and dad becoz it sounded childish and i was getting teased at school. i still call my dad daddy when i am after something or teasing him though! (he's 84 now and i'm 54, we never stop being our parents 'babies!).

We are Daddy xxxxxx and Daddy xxx, although three years in, our boys now refer to us both as Daddy, unless they are talking to one of us about the other daddy or they are calling for one of us in particular. It's funny, but generally we know which daddy they mean now anyway. Their friends at school also call us Daddy xxxxxx and Daddy xxx, which always amuses us :)

My wife and I will be Mummy and Daddy, as she's butch and doesn't like to be referred to as anything girly like 'mum, auntie', however, the prospected children we have been matched with are two sisters aged 3&5. They are old enough to know that we are not their parents, so will say to them from the beginning to just call us by our first names and then if/when they feel comfortable calling us anything different then we can discuss it :)

But you will be their parents !

If a chid calls you by your first name it does not make you any less of a parent! All the mummy's, mammy's whatever figures in my son's life have been useless and harmfull to him. He has always called me by my first name, and I have never found this a problem. We are 10 years 'in', he was 6 when adopted. My second child, also 6 at adoption, is different and I forced him to say mum as he used my name with disrespect.

I wouldn't assume that just because they're a little bit older they won't want to call you mum/mummy. Ours were 5 and 3 when they were placed, and although they called us by our first names for the first few weeks (our foster carer wasn't very supportive) they soon started calling us dad (we're a mixed race couple, so my partner uses the word for dad in his first language) and now they struggle to remember what our first names are (we're 10 months in). We didn't make them, but we did refer to each other as 'dad' all the time and they gradually picked it up. All children are different and they'll end up calling you what feels right to them, but I think with ours there was a really strong desire to be part of a family and for them 'dad' was an expression of that. Maybe it was also partly about fitting in, and partly about claiming us - when all their friends have a mum/dad maybe they wanted ones to call their own.

I think from a personal prospective that having your child call you mummy and daddy even though you are a lesbian couple could possibily be damaging to the child In the long term,have you given thought to how confusing this will be to your child as you are at the end of the day a woman and not the man you would like your child to see you as! Our children have so many barriers already without having to deal with our needs/wants.Im so sad that you will tell your children to call you by your first names until they feel comfortable have you given thought to allowing them to decide on what they feel comfortable with? Have you discussed this with your sw? I do hope all goes well and that you go with what you feel is right but please spare a thought for your prospective children as the most important thing about adoption is the very beginning of your child's journey so guide them carefully at the beginning. Regards Westi