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Does AUK care about its members and the users of its forum?
lilyofthevalley
October 4, 2018 10:43
I wondered about posting this but feel it needs to be said. I adopted my 2 children 26 years ago when they were 6 and 7. This was in the days when we did not have computers or mobile phones and certainly no online forums. I used to receive the magazine for adoptive parents called PPIAS and it was my lifeline. I used to so look forward to getting it. Through an article by another adoptive parent I learnt about ADHD. I realised that both my children suffered from the condition and spent the next 4 years fighting to get them diagnosed and treated. I came to computing quite late but have been using this forum for quite a few years. Over this time there have been several revisions of the website. Unfortunately these have not been for the better. Moderating of the site has often seemed remote and disinterested. Direct questions to AUK have often remained unanswered. There has been a fair amount of spam. Use of the site has declined significantly with sometimes hardly any traffic at all. And yet the need is just as great as before. Quite a few adoptive parents have migrated to other sites as a result. Some months ago I joined the 'Potato' group even though my children were in their 30s. (It was originally intended for teens). But I still posted on this forum. Tragically just over 3 weeks ago my beloved adopted daughter, Jade, aged 32, died in tragic circumstances. I found her dead body and her starving dogs. I have received a huge amount of support from adoptive parents on this site and the 'Potato' site and another site, that I use less often. But, when I come to think about it, absolutely nothing from AUK itself. This is in extraordinary contrast to the other sites. Through the 'Potato' site I was sent flowers and a substantial donation was made to Jade's charity (supported by the funeral collection) in her memory. Two adoptive parents also travelled to the funeral (one a considerable way) to offer their support. I received a beautiful email from one of the founders of the other site. But absolutely nothing from AUK itself - no private message, no condolences, nothing at all. Therefore my question? Perhaps it could be raised at your upcoming conference. 'Does AUK care about its members and the users of its forum?' Lily
ScottC-R
October 4, 2018 18:26
Dear lilyofthevalley I reply on behalf of all of us at Adoption UK, and start by saying we are so very sorry, both about the tragedy of your daughterâs death, but also that you havenât felt supported by Adoption UK. We did know and we sincerely do care, and actually, thought that we had sent a private message of condolence to you, although it appears that something has gone wrong and we havenât. Let us put that right immediately - we are so very sorry not only for your loss, but also the factors that contributed to your daughters death. It is not something that any parent should have to go through, and we pass on our sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family. As long time user of the forums, you will know that the forums are designed to be a place for adopters to talk to each other, rather than being a dialogue between adopters and Adoption UK. So as a rule, we try to take a light touch to getting involved in conversations or debates and donât intervene unless site rules are being broken. We want to make sure weâre helping adopters to stay in touch, share information and connect with one another, and the forum is an important part of that. We also run our adopter helplines and members groups, and provide information in other ways. Weâre happy to be told we havenât got the balance right between these and will look at how we spread our resources across all these areas. Once again lilyofthevalley - and on behalf of us all at Adoption UK, please do accept our sincere condolences and our apologies that you felt let down by us. If you wish to contact me directly - please either DM me or email: S---- EMAIL REDACTED ---- Warm wishes Scott Head of Engagement & Delivery
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Goldenfinch
October 4, 2018 20:16
Lily, Iâm so sorry. Sitting here in tears for you and your beloved Jade xxx
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pluto
October 4, 2018 22:51
Scott you (Aduk) should contact Lily directly, not the other way round!
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ScottC-R
October 5, 2018 00:11
That has also already been done directly Pluto. Thanks Scott
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Serrakunda
October 5, 2018 00:46
Scott, as you appear to be engaging with us, please could you address the issue of 'thumbs up ' and 'voting'. This has been the subject of seversl threads which have had no response. The death of Lily's daughter has highlighted just how highly inappropriate these are on a site like this where individuals are often posting in great distress
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ScottC-R
October 5, 2018 08:52
Hi Serrakunda Thanks for this. I will definitely flag this as part of our forum development. There are restrictions to the current functionality - but I will most certainly look into it. Thanks Scott
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lilyofthevalley
October 5, 2018 18:26
Thank you Scott. Lily
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Madrid
October 6, 2018 00:23
Iâm sorry that a bereaved parent has to come on here and talk about this. There shouldnât have been a situation where it was assumed that a message had been sent, but actually wasnât. This super duper website previously showed that people âsupportedâ a poster, but didnât âvoteâ for them or give a âthumbs upâ. So-called âfunctionalityâ can be reverted to that, surely? Items like this - and the notion that AUK is no longer perceived to really support forum posters - do not get discussed at the Annual Conference. Questions are very limited and are vetted in advance. Iâm sorry youâve felt unsupported on here, Lily xx
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ScottC-R
October 8, 2018 10:15
Dear Madrid Thanks for your message. I will look into your points. We no longer have an AGM at our Annual Conference, however, our Senior Managers and Trustees are all available on the day for all delegates to be able to speak to. If there are specific points or questions any members should have they are welcome to contact us either through the main switchboard or by email, or indeed by Private Message. Thanks Scott
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Madrid
October 9, 2018 11:59
Dear Scott I donât attend AUK conferences anymore but Iâm sure that other friends on here will talk to AUK senior managers or Trustees if they can find them and they make themselves visible amongst the crowds. I donât think I should be asked to write to AUK, since I and many others have done so on here. AUK Management has only to read this thread and this particular area to see that weâve written extensively about the difficulties and issues. Lilyâs original question at the top of this thread is a very fundamental one - something that I would suggest that AUK Senior Management and Trustees would be wise to investigate and take very seriously.
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safia
October 9, 2018 12:09
Also - apart from the very serious issue raised by Lily - it would be good if the spam posts could be removed - there are 8 current posts 3 of which are spam - what sort of message does that give new users?
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pingu123
October 10, 2018 10:37
Regards direct support from auk. One of the things that helped folks feel supported by AUK was that when questions were directed at AUK there was usually a fairly quick response from a mod, even just to say it was passed on to relevant person. Also, in certain kinds of situations a message would be seen telling the poster that We ( auk) have sent you a pm - usually offering support if required via the helpline I think, and reminding the poster of that telephone number. This was reassuring as we felt serious issues were being addressed by AUK. Mod response is much slower nowadays - is there less staff available ? sometimes it can be days before mod questions are answered and sometimes not at all. And questions are passed up the line from mods, we are told that has been done by the mod, but an answer never comes back down. It's this more recent lack of responsiveness that concerns us. And I think a more flexible responsive web service needs looked at for a sensitive forum like this. AUK does a fantastic thing in supporting adopters in often trying or difficult circumstances and needs funding to be prioritised towards urgent support needs such as this and the helpline ( which kept me sane on one occasion) Perhaps at the expense of a reduction of political work for a while anyway, as things elsewhere in politics slow down while Brexit trundles on ! Best Wishes Pingu
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bluefrog
October 29, 2018 23:51
Lily, I have only been on the site today and just started to read some of the threads here. It broke my heart to read your post. I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful daughter. xx
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