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Don't know what is normal. I asked the fc of my LO about their profile. It was the most honest profile I read whilst waiting for a link. I could see potential issues there in the profile. When I asked fc about it explaining I was surprised by how honest it was, fc said that following a child she had previously cared for coming back to her (because of disruption), she was keen to have input. Amazingly the SW let fc have a go at writing the profile!!! I am led to understand this is rare. Personally, I found it much easier to have an honest starting point.

I have only ever seen one profile too, and only becoz the adoption disrupted during intros and the prospective adotpers sent all their paperwork back with her belongings to my house, so I saw it there. and like yours it bore little resemblance to the child I cared for on a daily basis. the photo was gorgeous but was taken by a professional photographer (I took her for that) and did reflect just how gorgeous she was. but when I asked the prospective adopters during intros what drew them to her initially they both said the photo, and this was a child with numerous developmental and serious health issues that were mention as 'improving health' and 'some developmental delay'.I wish that photos weren't used in profiles and an honest write up was used. but then her cpr was ridiculously out of date and full of inaccuracies too (they sent that back too, never seen one of those before either). think it would be useful to have fc's at elast check the profiles and cprs, at least the bits that are about the child day to day, becoz sw's really don't have a clue about the day to day stuff and it seemed to be just made up. I barely recognised the child! (or me from things said about our relationship in there).

Having attended a few exchange days when we were waiting for our latest LO I got to see lots of profiles! Most are very nice and only give the tiniest hint of a problem, but usually followed up with 'prognosis is good' or 'it is hoped this will improve' or 'since then has made lots of progress'... etc! Only the odd few will be very real. Almost all of the children we enquired about initially turned out to have additional difficulties that were not mentioned on their profile. Strangely, many of these had only been picked up within the last few days!

My AS's profile was written by his FC and that's standard within our LA. No pictures allowed until we had made a commitment to proceed. We were also given his CPR to read over and I was amazed that it had all BP's names, addresses etc in it as well as some extended BF. I'd already googled, FBooked and street mapped them by the next meeting with SW's! J

There seem to have been a lot of disruptions early in placement recently with the adopters saying the children had issues they hadn't been told about - sounds like this is the same thing from the other side of the coin.Personally, I think that prospective adopters are foolish to believe any profiles which seem to be too good to be true - if there are allegedly no issues, I think it's a case of 'beware'.

No photos allowed to be seen by adopters here, until after MP, for the very reason LoBs describes. After we were approved at MP we were shown one photo which was then taken away again, which we did find hard as we had already been approved for him. I'm no sure it's fair to say adopters are foolish if they believe profiles that are too good to be true. Especially if first time adopters - it's a totally unique situation in life that you will never have walked before. You are encouraged to trust your professional's experience. You are overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork and info flying your way. You are overwhelmed by fear and hope....we waited 2 years for Kipper!With hindsight I feel baffled confused by our sons CPR. The emphasis was on the positive : he likes a cuddle when tired could have been rephrased as not a cuddly baby, struggles to be comforted when distressed, but will snuggle up if tired. Subtle rephrasing all through the CPR would have painted a more honest picture - would we have still gone ahead? I believe we would....and the ensuing challenges would have been less of a shock. It's been very hard to make sense of the boy we have compared to the baby we were described, and it has affected how I see myself as a parent - it must be my fault right? As he was " fine" before he came here. I know that's not true but I have had to wrestle with a lot of self - doubt. Like Jakester we also saw all the BFs addresses...we didn't Google- map them but we did worry about the reverse being true.

"that all prospective adopters know that the profiles are a bit like estate agents descriptions of houses"I certainly don't think that's true. Think it's an outrageous statement!!

Even knowing that profiles and CPRs can be 'economical with the truth', it is depressing and alarming to read this. We didn't see a photo until committing to proceed and it did mean that we focussed very strongly on LOs background and health/development issues - having said that I would have loved to to see a photo or video during the linking process. Poor practice on writing these profiles seems to be widespread - are there suggestions for what can we do about it in such an emotional and turbulent process? We can be wary and inform ourselves as much as possible, try not to be too overwhelmed by the photogenic child, and ask loads of questions (though in itself this can be picked on up by SWs who might suggest prospective adopters are 'unsure' if they have all these questions...) - any other ideas?

Hi, in answer to the original poster, our FC had strong input to the profile. It was honest but intriguing. We had lots of Qs and were totally honest with the FF. we felt connected because of a pic (it wasn't overly cute as it was from a still of a video and LO couldn't cope with flash photos). However, due to honesty from FF and then SW manager etc we always went with our heads until meeting him. LO presents more unknowns now we are post AO but we always knew this uncertainty. His behaviour was worse but that was more due to the change (busy FC house so sometimes he was given into more to keep peace amongst everyone else but FC was excellent so I think this was more a quick coping strategy rather than always.Re how is this fixed going forward. SS's need to know they need transparency & honesty from all profs involved. If the prep groups are comprehensive enough then prospective adopters will know to ask more. Personally I think all agencies should do a mandatory one day post approval to educate everyone on matching/questioning process, behaviours and other things that could concern.The honesty of the SWs involved in our Los case was great but I still feel this was because we would not allow them to fob off, we stood our ground and appeared read on Los issues or potentials. They never doubted our commitment but we took a longer time to officially match as we needed to know we could meet Los needs (thanks boards as without reading some worst case situations we maybe would have been more naive). My own AUK group is also great for this and encourages newly approved folks to come too and I know we have educated others at this crucial stage.Honesty will bring about less earlier disruptions and ultimately help promote adoption.Oh and BMP and CWW drastically need reviewed as I never found one profile that was honest. As soon as you contacted SW there were always other big issues re health or behaviour. In one case slight disability being on profile but when asked for more info, the child was 100% blind and needed a 121 Carer at 2years old. That's not fair on either adopters who get illushioned or the children who wait longer to find a family or potentially end up LTFC.

We saw ds1 in CWW mag and it was his photo that hooked us on him. But there were no surprises when we got more detail, no hidden snags and that added to the feeling of rightness. It was his fc who reassured me that he would be fine and that the profile was accurate. When asked if we would take ds2 I found I couldn't answer that till sw sneaked me a peak at a photo of him. ( as we took him as a foster child until the permanance order came through we were not officially allowed to see a photo ahead of his moving to us) Feelings are important , to me anyway, and I can't know how I will feel about a child that I have not seen even a photo of. I refused to agree till I had seen a photo. Because of the way he came there was no profile for ds2 but his notes ( and his fc) were clear as daylight about his issues!!!It must be hard to try and sum a child up in a paragraph and you can understand that they want to start with good stuff, as long as they hint at the other stuff and are totally honest about the rest to enquirers. Nobody should agree to a specific child and then be told( or find out later) about major problems.

I think our FC would've been quite upset to read DDs CPR.It didn't really go much into detail about her personity other than her being stubborn & active. There were also details about some quite shocking suspected health issues (incorrect but almost caused a huge delay when matching panel read them). But the physical description was terrible (he hair colour was wrong). It made her sound like shrek. We met the SWs thinking it was a no & then shown a terrible photo too & one which the SW said "looks like FAS". We were then shown a DVD & my word what a difference. The DVD was her - not the CPR or photo.We started off as a competitive match but the other couple pulled out (not surprising). We were so reassured from the DVD we went ahead. What can I say, the other couple lost out as my DD is fab I don't blame anyone but I am shocked at how little input FCs have into CPRs.

Sorry to be thick... I assumed that FCs saw the CPR as it could help explain triggers and behaviours?

the cpr is a document meant to be used as part of the process for permanence. fc's don't see that in order to understand a child's behaviour. for that we have experience, and hopefully some kind of verbal hand over, the planning meeting before the child is placed (ho ho) and generally just chatting to others who knew the child before they arrived. the cpr is only ever written once permanence plans are decided on and a child has usually been in care some long months prior to that.

Thanks LOB - see, I was being thick - of course it isn't written yet!

I do wish all LA's and VA's would read these boards EVERY day and see what some of us have to poke up with at times. Don't they realise that by not telling prospective adopters the truth, or the really important things in profiles and CPR's, that this can just lead to disruption, which is SO unfair on the children and on the adopters. I know the Gov. are trying to hurry the system up etc., but what about getting the CRITICAL things right in the first place. And then of course there are some poor FC's that are told they can't be too truthful so the pressure is then heaped on them too. The whole system needs a complete overhaul in some areas of the country. I'm not saying they are all like it, but quite a few are. Sigghhhhhhhhhh

and I was one of those fc's barngirl and we all know how that turned out for small bubs (and myself), and it wasn't good.

The two LO's we are about to be matched to, had a series of professional photos taken, their profile said how bright they were, a few words like stubborn, determined were used...over the last few months we have been drip fed information ....until even now 10 days before matching panel, 28 days before intros we are still being given new bits of information. At this point the information we have is all pretty challenging. However we can still see the children we fell for through all the psychologists reports and the previous adopters comments. What has been the most helpful to us was meeting the current foster carers who brought a welcome sence of perspective and reality to the situation. If only they has been asked to help write the original profile.... had we known then what we do now would we have pursued the children? Not sure....as we have a major challenge on our hands. I do think the profiles are like bait to a fish and then we, the prospective adopters are slowly reeled in..but from our personal view although we know we've been manipulated, we feel certain our gut instinct was right.