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Happiness is ......
hannah2837
March 11, 2013 20:12
Watching our AD burst into our youngest BC''s bedroom first thing in the morning. Watching her climb onto his bed and lie on top of his head giggling "wakey wakey" whilst he flops an arm around her. Happiness is ..... tucking my youngest BC into bed at night and listening whilst he tells me how much he "really loves" his adoptive sister, and that she makes him happy every day.And this is just my youngest BC. The bond between our amazing AD and her 3 siblings is incredible. More than I could ever have dreamt. I am certain there are several major factors here. Firstly, they are opposite gender and secondly there is a 5 year age gap between youngest BC and AD. Also AD came to us at a very young age (baby). I''m sure there may be many things to deal with in time, and AD is not without needs. BUT I am now certain that we were lucky enough to find the recipe for succesfull bonding (and dare I say attachment) in a family with several BC. Hope this is helpful to other families wondering about age gaps and gender. from a very happy Mummy!
nereid
March 11, 2013 22:42
How lovely! Thank you for posting this.
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moptop
March 12, 2013 21:42
Ahh thats great Its nice to hear some positive stories as well as the challenging ones. I feel I want to hear them all to try and gather ideas.Were you offered older children first and did you have a 'set idea' what age, gender, personality of AC you were looking for?M
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Fruitbat
March 13, 2013 13:34
Aaawww! Thank you for this very sweet and encouraging post! Kids never cease to amaze and delight us, eh.
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salt123
March 13, 2013 18:26
lovely news, so good to hear. We are in the maatching process so need to hear these stories, I think you missed the factor of Super Mummy skills! We all have them on here! was she very little baby? Our SW would like a match with a little LO. here s to many more happy days for you and your family x
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salt123
March 13, 2013 18:28
oh and is this after some time and work or was it an instant process
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redoodles
March 13, 2013 20:20
Yes happiness is our little one too.... Brings us much joy and laughter and tiredness!Mum to AD aged 3 and BS aged 10. .
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hannah2837
March 20, 2013 21:48
Hi, thanks for the replies. In answer to your questions ....Salt123, no the bond wasnt instant between AD and BC but they were almost always very receptive and positive towards her. Our youngest BC (5 at placement time) has had a few occasions of regressing and wanting to be a baby too. We didnt discourage this at all, and offered him a bottle and cradling type cuddles! This seemed to work a treat and within a day or so he wanted to be a big boy again. He hasnt wanted to do this for a long time now, and we are fairly sure he is secure in his place as Much Loved big brother. Our AD is very rewarding for our BC, she clearly shows her appreciation of them and I'm sure this helps.Moptop, we originally got approved for 0-3 years but our SW (wisely) thought a child under 12 months would fit in best, and she was right. We did specify gender, but only because our 3 BC are the same and so it made complete sense to opt for the opposite. So in many ways, their position was not threatened, rather we added a new dimension to the family. As for personality ..... I don't think there is a tick box for that! We considered AD's background and potential problems, and also our own experience and our BC's needs - and then like everyone with an adoptive baby, we took a huge leap of faith! The future is unknown but our love for her is forever.
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mimiandbaby
March 30, 2013 20:21
What a lovely message, I'm so happy to hear that with a bit of hard work things can have a very happy ending... Wishing you all a very happy life together x
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