Archived Forums

View latest posts View active forum

disruption

pabjen August 17, 2013 17:02
Does anyone have experience of an adoption disruption,voluntary or not? We went through this awful experience and have desperately been trying to contact people who haev gone through something similar for some time. It seems there is no help out there.
Edited 17/02/2021
Pear Tree August 17, 2013 17:26
HelloSeveral families here have faced disruptionLots of threads with disruption in the title if you do a searchIn the meantime baaf do a booklet 'dealing with disruption' which is excellent Auk have it to borrow in their library
Edited 17/02/2021
Twiggywinkle August 17, 2013 19:01
Hi.We've been through it which ended in a pair of sisters being split up. One is still with us. But there is a lack of information on this subject and we are still unsure how often it happens.... TW
Edited 17/02/2021
Corkwing August 17, 2013 19:07
Hi -Probably a bit different from you: we adopted a group of 3 and one of them had to move back into foster care about 7 years into placement.There are a steady number of people who post on here, normally on the "Adopters" board. Normally it seems to be the adopters who initiate the disruption; sometimes it's social services.How can we help you?All the best,Corkwing
Edited 17/02/2021
Lavender Lady August 18, 2013 08:32
Hi Sorry you are feeling so alone at the moment. I'm not sure as I am no longer an Adoption UK member but AUK had a service called ERBIE - and then changed to PAL - whereby they could put members in touch with other members on the list who had experienced similar issues - I wonder if this service is still available? On a personal note, we went through something similar, although Social Services called it disruption we refused to do so as our dd was and still is very much our daughter and part of the family, it was just that at the time she was unable to live at home with us and actually never did return to live at home but is now an adult with her own little family - at the time it was the most devastating thing to go through but we were put in touch with other AUK members who had experienced similar through ERBIE and this helped enormously. Good luck
Edited 17/02/2021
Green457 August 18, 2013 11:41
Hi,We went though a disruption last year, it was our choice as the child we met in intros was not the child that had been described and had issues that we did not feel able to help with, and as SS denied there was an issue there would be no specific support for us. It was devastating, to lose a child we so wanted, after all the work and prep that we had done. Our expectations, hopes and dreams were dashed and at the same time, there was also massive guilt about letting the child down when they had already had a bad start in life and had had no control over the situation which we did have. At that time we both felt that we would never want to try adoption again.Once I was over the initial shock and stress of it, I undertook some counselling (counsellor recommended through Barnados LINK). This was effectively like bereavement counselling and helped me to recognise and process the feelings of loss. Having worked through my loss we could evaluate where we were and what we wanted to do with clear heads and we felt that we still would like to adopt a child. having gone through the finding out process again, with the benefit of the experiences learned from the first time, we have just been linked to a lovely little one who we feel very confident about joining our family. I offer my story, just to say that when we went through the disruption last year it was devastating, for me it was more painful than a miscarriage I had suffered several years earlier, but now here we are only a few weeks away from adding a new, special little person to our family and feeling really good about it.I send you lots of hugs and good wishes, but please give yourselves time...you have lost a child, things don't get much worse.Gx
Edited 17/02/2021
mama1 August 18, 2013 20:51
Hi, We adopted a sibling group of 3 , we had put our son into foster care after being with us for 12 years he was 15 when we put him back into foster care which was only last year.Any questions feel free to pm me.
Edited 17/02/2021
Adoption UK Helpline August 20, 2013 10:22
Hi PabjenWe have PM'd you.Helpdesk Team
Edited 17/02/2021
BarnGirl August 23, 2013 14:57
Hi - I've pm'd you
Edited 17/02/2021

Archived

This topic is archived. New posts are not allowed.