Archived Forums

Awwwww larsti I thought you'd got some surprise news then?!!!!I hope so, that has to be good4 months old is younger than I've heard of Pear tree

Hi it would be great to think things had improved, BUT I am guessing that any baby under 8 months old are more than likely part of the foster to adopt scheme, not really sure about this process, having spoken to a friend recently that is fostering to adopt a baby. Baby went to her at 4 weeks SW were 95 percent sure they were going to get a placement order but 11 months later they still have no PO, and my friend has spent the last 10 months running around doing weekly contact with BM and SW involvement all the time they seem to phone all the time telling her she has to attend meetings and contact visits. My friend is struggling with letting her self get to attached to baby as anything could happen. As well we all know, in the world of adoption

LOL PT Flowerpower, I think you may be right...why didn't I think of that? Concurrent placement??In both cases I heard the news from a third party who quite possibly didn't know or realise what the situation was.That would make more sense I think.I know that concurrent whatsit is hard on the adopters but I am very much in favour of it from the child's point of view.

Concurrent placement yes that is what its called just could not remembers what they called it . I agree if all goes well it will be better for the children but so hard for all concerned if it does not. LO can is not allowed to call them mummy and daddy because she still has regular contact with BF

Forgot to say fostering was something I never wonted to do because i would not be able to give them back. And in my opinion that could happen with Concurrent placement

yes flowerpower, it does happen. The only concurrent placement that I know of ended in utter heartbreak for the potential adopters when the LO was returned to birth parents after some months. Even though they---theoretically--- knew this could happen, obviously they believed that it wouldn't---so began to plan for the future with their LO. Alongside this they too had to to accept the disruptions of the LO being taken to contact, and attend all the LAC reviews and other meetings that FC s have to. They were distraught with the outcome.

My dd was placed with me for adoption at 6 months. It was possible due to care proceedings / freeing order process for ds, which were ongoing whilst bm became pregnant. DD was therefore brought into those proceedings. If the bm has failed a parenting assessment in the last 2 years, I expect ss could go straight for a freeing order for new child without having to go the usual circuitous route.Phoebe x

I think things are speeding up - Thank God!!!Last year our LA placed a baby at 5 months, this year one at 4 months and my friend has a baby that is part of a sib group that they hope will be placed at a similar age. A massive difference from the 12-18 months min it used to take with even seemingly straight forward cases.In general there seems to be more deadlines being put in place to stop BP coming up with family and friends to be assessed at the last minute and more pressure for final hearing dates to be kept to. Don't know if thats just here though

even with the new speeding up of processes in the courts etc and with a baby who's parents have been assessed within last 2 years and wont be reassessed the processes still take time and while technically the 4 month old might be in placement with a PO (squishy could have managed this had the PO and matching panel been done within the same week or two, had her new parents actually been approved themselves at the time, which they werent) its still very unusual and not the norm. and 8 weeks isn't long enough to complete the legal processes or paperwork, so would go with the concurrency idea. not sure i'd have what it takes for concurrency but hats off to those who do. hope these little ones do well and stay put with their new families.

Not sure I would ever be brave enough to consider concurrency unless it was with a subsequent sibling and you knew the family background and were 98% sure it was all going to go ahead, couldn't bear the risk.I remember when were were growing up (I'm adopted for those who don't know), my Dad was working in the local children's home and one of the Nuns passed the comment that only one child was not going home for Christmas (the kids weren't up for adoption, just in whilst the parents sorted themselves out). My Dad was horrified at this LO having to spend Christmas on his own with a load of Nuns and he asked if LO could come and spend Christmas with us at home. Lo was about 18 months and was adorable. We had him with us for 3 weeks and we all fell in love with him. Think I was about 12 at the time and we all adored having a baby to fuss over. The day we had to take him back was horrendous. He adored my Dad, having been surrounded by women all his life, and when we took him in, his BM was there wanting to hug him. He wrapped himself around my Dad's legs and refused to go to her, crying his heart out and the Nuns had to go and prise him off my Dad's leg. My Mum and brothers and sister left and went outside and were crying our eyes out and my Dad finally came out in bits, tears pouring down his face and I remember him saying to my Mum "never again". We were all devastated to lose LO as we had all become so attached to him and my parents said they could never be Foster Parents as they couldn't let a child go. I still remember that little boy and wonder whatever happened to him.

My ds was placed with us at 4 months old, that was over 6.5 years ago.An adopter who came to talk to us at prep group had her ds at 10 weeks, and another adopter I know had sibs placed with youngest 6 weeks old.

So not necessarily indicative of anything then by the sounds of it.About 30 years ago I knew someone who fostered a baby less than one year old and then wanted to adopt her. This wasn't allowed and she was heartbroken and never fostered again. I knew nothing about fostering or adoption then, it just seemed a shame the baby had to be moved.

Well we did concurrent planning, can't tell you why because I know if the boys had gone back I would definately been in bits. Littly was 20 days old and eldest was 3.5 years when we started and 19 months and 5.5 years when we eventually adopted them.It is a great thing for the children generally. But I have to say in our case I felt it was all rather rushed...panel on Tuesday, matched the following day and boys home with us 18 days later (after 2 FC placements each). This along with 3 x 3 hour contacts with BM didn't really give us a good start. Eldest had always called BM by her first name but was pushed/corrected to call her mum...9 months later he is told I am his new mum. We knew next to nothing about the boys it was only as the months went on and we where well attached to the children that we found out about drink, drugs, domestic violence and it was 4 years after adoption that we where told that eldest had been physically abused too.I am not convinced that "rushing" through the process is such a good thing unless adopters are given more information on the childrens history and the child is assessed first. If our eldest had had this done early on then he would have been kept in LAC longer whilst receiving the help he needed.SM

Bump