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Adopting with cats already in the household

CSH1983 November 11, 2020 18:56

Hi all,

Our LO has just moved in with us and what should be an exciting and enjoyable time has become extremely stressful because my 11 year old cat is terrified of her. He is the sweetest natured cat and it breaks my heart seeing him in such a state. He literally won't come in the house at the moment.

Has anyone got an experience of this? Did your cats come round in the end?
All the advice I can find online relates to adding a cat to your family, rather than the other way round.

Edited 17/02/2021
Kazzie November 11, 2020 20:22

Has your cat got a safe space to hide in your house. It might be that you have to keep them separate for a while until the cat gets used to your LO and to give the cat a bit of space. When our DD came to live with us she was very excited about our 2 cats but they did give themselves some space and kept away from her. She liked to try and pick them up. Once they accepted that she was here to stay they would let her make a fuss of them but it was very much when they were ready.

There used to be someone on here who fostered cats and might be able to give you better advice but I don't know if they still access this site.

Edited 17/02/2021
Safia November 11, 2020 20:40

One of our cats was very resilient - my daughter used to chase him / pick him up to cuddle and then throw him down / through powder over him and once hit him with the phone. But he really loved her. When he had to be put down she was the one who came with me to stroke him and comfort him at the end. Our other cat just hid under the bed all the time and barely came out. The cat we have now was a neighbours who refused to go home when they got a new puppy and our neighbour ended up asking us to feed him as he was wanting to come in our house (he used to come into visit the other 2 cats) but we weren’t letting him. They all react differently.

Is he coming in the house? If he’s there then just give him lots of attention when LO is in bed. Could LO give him treats? I was going to suggest you held and stroked him and encouraged LO to do the same. I think it’s a good idea but you would need to be careful you didn’t make LO jealous.

Edited 17/02/2021
CSH1983 November 11, 2020 21:09

Thanks for your advice. We haven't even got as far as introducing them, simply seeing her through the window scares him off. I knew he wasn't going to be happy as he's never liked kids being in the house so I planned to keep them separate for a while, but even that's not working and he won't come in the house at all. He has a bed upstairs but won't go that far because it means walking past the living room. It's really quite upsetting, I can only hope he will come back again soon :-(

Edited 17/02/2021

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