Hello everyone, I'm a long time reader of the boards, but have never posted. I remember the days before the boards changed and miss some of the old dialogue, especially advice from Ford, Donatella and Pluto such advice has got our family through some fairly tough stuff and has been invaluable.
Short background we adopted our two, full siblings, who are now 6 and 5. Came to us age 15 months and 9 months respectively. Moved at birth.
6 year old is awesome. Couldn't ask for a better outcome. We went in hard on the therapuetic parenting, and he's quite honestly the result of that hard work. We have these boards too thanks also. 5 year old is gorgeous but there is definitely attachment issues there. Hard time at school because they neglected their statutory obligations (designated teacher failed his obligations and in turn the school staff, don't get me started on how poor the whole set up is), we got the kids out of there to a better school where the head herself has a child with an attachment issue. My God what a difference. If I could buy shares in this school I would. 5 year old is like a different child! The support is incredible and attachment is central to much that they do.
So. To my point. We are in a place of almost serene happiness. Is that even possible?! The kids aren't toddler anymore, 5 year old is so much happier and content, and we finally feel like we are settled and do I dare say, enjoying life!
I then received an email to say birth mum is pregnant. The baby is a full sibling. We are being considered. We are keen and have identified all the positives and negatives. Overall we think it'll be good for our family. But we are worried about all the usual stuff, money, being knackered again, going back into soft play fills me with dread (!), but those issues aside the bigee is of course the kids.
Worried it won't be all roses especially for the 5 year old whose just really beginning to settle and less frequently resorting to attachment seeking behaviours. But equally she's amazing with younger children and is incredibly caring. We think it could be the making of her.....or of course it could be car crash. 6 year old, we think will be supportive. He's responding well to life story work, has a very mature head on his shoulders. For example, he was very involved in the decision to move schools and grasped the risk that he may not like it. Bless him he never complained once following the move but thankfully loves his new school once settled as does 5 year old.
So I'm wondering if anyone here has been in this position, went for the third child. Loved it? Regretted it? Any advice on questions to ask SW apart from what birth mum has been doing during this pregnancy alcohol drugs domestic arrangements etc?
It looks like it'll be foster to adopt.
Thanks for listening.