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Hi. 6 months after being approved by panel as prospective adopters our children moved in with us. This was in 2018.

We read in the latest government adoption report that 6 months was the average, but actually met many couples during adoption training for whom it took nearly a year. I guess it all depends how proactive you are, what you are looking for and how clear your profile and expressions of interest are. We learned that it is important to tailor your expressions of interest to the child you are expressing interest in and make clear how you could potentially meet their individual needs.

I think this depends on lots of things. We adopted about 8 years ago so that may be a factor in itself. Once we were approved we started looking at profiles in Children Who Wait etc. and we spotted our son almost straight away.

Our social worker approached the LA, but simultaneously, our son's local authority also got in touch thinking we were a good match. So, that was it really. Our son was placed with us about 4 months after we first saw his profile.

I think it is really important to make sure you are comfortable with the match and feel you could meet their individual needs. Don't worry so much about how long it takes, although it is tempting after approval to just want everything to happen quickly. We actually felt it happened a bit to quickly. During the approval process I felt it was all a little abstract, but when you have a particular little person in mind, I found there was so much more to get ready and think about - researching schools, medical issues etc.

Hi, We were linked the week after approval panel and went to matching panel within 2 months and had them home 3 weeks later. We were pretty quick though and it really does depend on a number of factors such as what children you’d be willing & able to consider as well as lucky timing.

I’d echo the advice to focus on getting the right match, getting yourself ready and making sure you make the most of your time before it all goes crazy!

Hello, we got approved in November, shown info on our little one in Feb, lots of waiting around and VERY slow replies from SW's, visited SW and FC in June, intros in July and she moved in in August. Every case is different, I know someone who got approved and had the whole matching process push through within literally a few weeks and on the other end of the scale I know someone who will have waited over a year to be matched. I wouldnt focus on a time scale for a second and just go with it, you will know when it feels right and if it is the way its meant to be it will pan out perfectly. This whole adoption journey is long and stressful, im sure there is a little one out there that is perfect for you. Dont stress yourself xx

Hi,

I'm just starting the process and am yet to have a visit to my new home. (I haven't actually moved in yet, due to lockdown).

I'm a single, 39 year old woman. Does anyone have any idea if this is an ok age, or is it tougher to be matched at 39? I know I shouldn't be discriminated against but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen, does it?

I have read about people who didn't get a match at all and think it is because of their age.Please let me know your thoughts/experience. Thanks

Hi Maguire,

Try posting your question as a new topic as it may get lost here and you might not get any response. Agencies are looking to see if you can meet the needs of the child. That’s the bottom line of it

Plenty of adopters are in their late thirties, forties and a few in their fifties. The age profile is generally older than for birth parents as adopters may have focused more on other things in their teens and twenties. I'm a single adopter too and was 43, winding down from a lot of overseas travel, adventure sports etc. and had built up much more career and financial security and a good child-friendly house. More importantly Id become more grounded, a bit wiser, and just more ready to make the enormous adaptations necessary for having an adopted family.

Have you found the facebook group for prospective single adopters?

Thanks for your comments. I'll check out the Facebook group for prospective single adopters.

I was even older than Lettice, at 47 near enough when my son came home. 'Youth' is not always the most attractive quality in an adopter !

I was 42 - but had older children - and at one point they thought BM was expecting again and said “get ready for another one” - I think they value life experience and maturity and in fact younger people find it harder often age wise

Hi Maguire. I’m 40 (just!) and a single adopter. Only approved end of March and waiting on tenterhooks today for the outcome of a meeting to decide if I’m linked (I’m the only family they are considering). I was more concerned about being single going up against the more traditional couple, rather than my age, but we’ve not even found that to be an issue either. Good luck