Edited 17/02/2021
Increased activity levels +++ in LO. Advice please. Not sure where to post this!!!
minnie7
September 5, 2013 21:51
Oops! I forgot to add comment. Think it might take a while to get used to new format. And, also wasn't quite sure where this sort of post should go. My LO started nursery in the summer, just two sessions and coped well. LO has now also started preschool. This is all in preparation for me going back to work. Thankfully I will only be working part time. However, this week (which is the week LO started preschool in addition to nursery), LO has been very active (as in more than usual) when at home. LO is very easy toddler but his behaviour has been more tricky in that he is pushing the boundaries a lot more this week (still not bad for toddler). But there is a definite difference. Friends say, oh, its normal!!! But I would value other adopters views. My hunch is the over activity is related to the increase in him being in childcare. My difficulty is as a singleton I need to return to work and worry that his behaviour might escalate when he is in childcare more. I have been building it up gradually so he learns I will always come back and so on. I have also tried giving him picture of me, taking something of mine etc but he really isn't bothered!!! Just to add ... LO is 2 (will be three towards end of year) Any thoughts about the increased activity??? Any thoughts about what might help??? Any thoughts about how to help him manage when he does longer hours??? Many thanks for reading!!! Hope people somehow find my post. As mentioned, not really sure where it fits in to the new boards??? Minnie x
Sockthing
September 5, 2013 22:03
Hi Minnie, I recognise this behaviour in Kipper when he is very overtired. Do you mean he is a bit "hyper " as well as testing boundaries? It probably is " normal" up to a point if he is very tired....I think all toddlers will play up when tired of course. But as with all things adoption I think you are right to be a bit alert just in case he's feeling insecure. I guess being at preschool as well as nursery could be unsettling him more than if he was just in one setting? Maybe he just needs more time to adjust to a more complicated routine. I would definitely compensate by as much good quality attention when you are together ( I know that must be so hard) Funnily enough Kipper has been starting nursery this last couple of weeks and he has really been ramping up his behaviour and very challenging. After LOTS of trial and error I have found it works best if I kind of make a joke of it when he tries it on, rather than getting cross with him. The more I was telling him off the more we were getting into a spiral of negativity between us. I'm being very firm and clear about thing that are non negotiable eg biting, but for minor offences distraction is working or pulling his leg ....eg he keeps running off from the meal table halfway through eating :"ooh silly did you forget that it was still tea time and we are all eating! That doesn't seem like my Kipper, he's brilliant at remembering". Seems to be working so far......touch wood.
Edited 17/02/2021
Sockthing
September 5, 2013 22:05
Oh god. Sorry about the ludicrously long box!!!!
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7
September 5, 2013 22:09
The spiral of negativity has been all too familiar. So I have been feeling like "carp" Mummy!!! I like the idea of making a joke of things especially as my LO does enjoy humour!!! He wouldn't eat a piece of toast the other day. And when I asked why, he told me it was too heavy and with grunting noises worthy of a weight lifter then lifted it but only with my help. He had such a twinkle in his eye and cheeky smile!!!
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7
September 5, 2013 22:10
Thing it just looks long cos of the big font/type. But it was helpful :). Thank you.
Edited 17/02/2021
Pear Tree
September 5, 2013 23:46
Hi, Think you are being a brave, bold and intuitive mummy and if that mummy radar is telling you things are being more planet adoption than planet normal parenting, go with it. I wonder if there's some token you could give LO so that he can simply hold it and know you are thinking of him and will be back to collect him, and it. Something snuggly you can have under your pillow so your scent is on it. All the best
Edited 17/02/2021
hubelly
September 9, 2013 08:06
Hi This sounds like a very securely attached child very much testing the boundaries to me.Sometimes due to work granny has to mind my 4.5 year old for a couple of hours in the morning.When i get home he becomes quite "naughty" and is constantly testing me but as i said before this is the actions of a secure child whether adopted or not.I love it when granny says "Well he was very well behaved until you arrived! As the previous post suggested give your child something of yours that has a familiar smell as i know this worked for me. Regards Hubelly
Edited 17/02/2021
FIM
September 10, 2013 09:09
The other thing to think about is having one alternative child care rather than two in social care/ education settings. But it sounds 'normal' with a touch of adoption, rather than pure adoption related. Getting some exercise eg walk round the park might help as I found this worked with our son as he didn't get enough exercise in school. (He 's now doing double PE as his GCSE options!)
Edited 17/02/2021
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