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In order to get an adhd diagnosis symptoms have to be present in more than one setting - so that would be school and home, fir example. Both you and school will need to complete a Connors questionnaire - which is usually issued by Camhs or a paediatrician. Ed psych can have an opinion and pinpoint but to my knowledge won’t be able to diagnose. What do you want EP to look for? Will s/he be doing a full cognitive assessment or just observing? Have school agreed to it yet? EP time is severely limited. Is your son under Camhs or paeds? How to explain? Depends on age and whether you’re certain that he will be assessed for adhd. If it’s a Connors questionnaire then he won’t necessarily know because you’ll complete one and school will complete one so there’s no direct assessment as such. If he’s not hyper then that might mean he doesn’t have adhd. Not saying it’s not something else ...

If you are concerned about his impulsive behaviour and it gets him into trouble - maybe just say you are seeing someone to see if you can get him some help with that? How is his concentration / distractability? Is there ADHD in the birth family?

Hi, I think your son sounds like a lot of adopted children. The benefits of an adhd diagnosis are that you can try the medication - drawbacks are that you have to disclose it for things like travel insurance. It will always be in his medical records. Both of my girls have a diagnosis but really, the medication made little difference. We did try it for a few years but the benefits were mild and we stopped. I'm just saying to think carefully about what benefit you think an adhd diagnosis will bring. Sometimes our children have a cocktail of difficulties and things like sensory interventions will be more useful. That was definitely the case for my girls. The assessment will involve your son being seen by the paediatrician or therapist as well as you and school completing the Conners questionnaires so he will definitely need to know what is going on. And ethically you will need to be telling him at some point. There are some books on adhd aimed at explaining it to children - google and see what you can find. I would suggest you join your local adhd group. I suspect there is one - if not, join on line communities. There are bound to be threads about it on mums net for example. Or closed facebook groups. But local connections are invaluable as you will be able to find out about local resources. With an adhd diagnosis you may want to send your son to some of the more dedicated clubs or other groups aimed at children with additional needs. In fact, you don't usually even need a diagnosis for this, you just turn up. They are usually very welcoming places. Re the ed psych, this is a completely different issue, but I guess you may well have other reasons for wanting him tested by an ed psych and I agree that this is a good idea if you are concerned about anything else. It's very easy to start self diagnosing and chasing whatever you think the problem is, but this can miss out huge chunks. IMO it is best to get a more global assessment for your son by a paediatrician, looking at all possibilities, not just asking for an adhd assessment. But also it's good to get the ed psych assessment done too. If school won't do it (and they may not), you can get a private assessment done. But also you should be looking at a speech and language assessment, especially if you are worried about his social skills. And OT too if you can get it. You may need to consider private assessments if you can afford it. Good luck

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1843106515/ref=asc_df_184310651558694693/?tag=googshopuk-21&creative=22110&creativeASIN=1843106515&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310834580283&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6603218139150532367&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006766&hvtargid=pla-436959812638&th=1&psc=1 This is a lovely book that your son might like - if/when you get an ADD or ADHD diagnosis.

Thank you. We don't know what the problems are , just social interactions gets worked up and ends up hurting someone - majority At school ,not so much now out of school with friends but it can happen . Quite a bright boy, memorises words and numbers quickly, and has an amazing memory.Not so good at writing and sitting still. Can seem very grown up and prefers older children or younger, not his age group . Has ongoing problems at school with hurting his peers in play. School have said they are going stop a playtime and take him out at a different time from everyone else ?!! In tears thinking about this isolation and making him different. Doctor has referred for adhd , however when I meet the Paed maybe I can ask for full assessment ? I don't know what the school will be willing to ask for, the doctor said ask for a ed psych. Someone else said ask for a echp and if they won't give us one , get one from the doctor. I am confused and it would be easier to let the school do what they want and bring him in , but it seems so unfair . I also don't totally recognise the child they are describe to us ! He can have his moments , but not as many as they seem to experience. Not sure he's not getting a bit scapegoated. However regardless they think he is being naughty and there are reasons but I just need an expert to tell the school and be on our side with hard evidence, need an expert assessment but not sure with who. I will ask for ed . Psych, speech and language and o.c. We can't afford to do this privately. I am not sure if he has ADHD (his birth family did) so could be genetic, I feel he may be on some kind of autistic spectrum - he needs his space physically, he is bright, he can be quite deadpan in expression at times or not quite connected to his emotions not sure how to describe it. However a lot of the time is just a wonderful , fabulous little boy with no issues that I can see, almost quite exceptional at times. All very confusing, just want him to go to school and stop getting into trouble, worried they are working towards excluding him . It is a small school and I feel like our child is spoiling their equilibrium in his class and that they will end up trying to manage him out. We have other A siblings so I think they can just see years of problems and hard work and funding issues. So would rather manage him out, But I may be being paranoid on that one !

Thank you. We don't know what the problems are , just social interactions gets worked up and ends up hurting someone - majority At school ,not so much now out of school with friends but it can happen . Quite a bright boy, memorises words and numbers quickly, and has an amazing memory.Not so good at writing and sitting still. Can seem very grown up and prefers older children or younger, not his age group . Has ongoing problems at school with hurting his peers in play. School have said they are going stop a playtime and take him out at a different time from everyone else ?!! In tears thinking about this isolation and making him different. Doctor has referred for adhd , however when I meet the Paed maybe I can ask for full assessment ? I don't know what the school will be willing to ask for, the doctor said ask for a ed psych. Someone else said ask for a echp and if they won't give us one , get one from the doctor. I am confused and it would be easier to let the school do what they want and bring him in , but it seems so unfair . I also don't totally recognise the child they are describe to us ! He can have his moments , but not as many as they seem to experience. Not sure he's not getting a bit scapegoated. However regardless they think he is being naughty and there are reasons but I just need an expert to tell the school and be on our side with hard evidence, need an expert assessment but not sure with who. I will ask for ed . Psych, speech and language and o.c. We can't afford to do this privately. I am not sure if he has ADHD (his birth family did) so could be genetic, I feel he may be on some kind of autistic spectrum - he needs his space physically, he is bright, he can be quite deadpan in expression at times or not quite connected to his emotions not sure how to describe it. However a lot of the time is just a wonderful , fabulous little boy with no issues that I can see, almost quite exceptional at times. All very confusing, just want him to go to school and stop getting into trouble, worried they are working towards excluding him . It is a small school and I feel like our child is spoiling their equilibrium in his class and that they will end up trying to manage him out. We have other A siblings so I think they can just see years of problems and hard work and funding issues. So would rather manage him out, But I may be being paranoid on that one !

Thank you. We don't know what the problems are , just social interactions gets worked up and ends up hurting someone - majority At school ,not so much now out of school with friends but it can happen . Quite a bright boy, memorises words and numbers quickly, and has an amazing memory.Not so good at writing and sitting still. Can seem very grown up and prefers older children or younger, not his age group . Has ongoing problems at school with hurting his peers in play. School have said they are going stop a playtime and take him out at a different time from everyone else ?!! In tears thinking about this isolation and making him different. Doctor has referred for adhd , however when I meet the Paed maybe I can ask for full assessment ? I don't know what the school will be willing to ask for, the doctor said ask for a ed psych. Someone else said ask for a echp and if they won't give us one , get one from the doctor. I am confused and it would be easier to let the school do what they want and bring him in , but it seems so unfair . I also don't totally recognise the child they are describe to us ! He can have his moments , but not as many as they seem to experience. Not sure he's not getting a bit scapegoated. However regardless they think he is being naughty and there are reasons but I just need an expert to tell the school and be on our side with hard evidence, need an expert assessment but not sure with who. I will ask for ed . Psych, speech and language and o.c. We can't afford to do this privately. I am not sure if he has ADHD (his birth family did) so could be genetic, I feel he may be on some kind of autistic spectrum - he needs his space physically, he is bright, he can be quite deadpan in expression at times or not quite connected to his emotions not sure how to describe it. However a lot of the time is just a wonderful , fabulous little boy with no issues that I can see, almost quite exceptional at times. All very confusing, just want him to go to school and stop getting into trouble, worried they are working towards excluding him . It is a small school and I feel like our child is spoiling their equilibrium in his class and that they will end up trying to manage him out. We have other A siblings so I think they can just see years of problems and hard work and funding issues. So would rather manage him out, But I may be being paranoid on that one !

Thank you. We don't know what the problems are , just social interactions gets worked up and ends up hurting someone - majority At school ,not so much now out of school with friends but it can happen . Quite a bright boy, memorises words and numbers quickly, and has an amazing memory.Not so good at writing and sitting still. Can seem very grown up and prefers older children or younger, not his age group . Has ongoing problems at school with hurting his peers in play. School have said they are going stop a playtime and take him out at a different time from everyone else ?!! In tears thinking about this isolation and making him different. Doctor has referred for adhd , however when I meet the Paed maybe I can ask for full assessment ? I don't know what the school will be willing to ask for, the doctor said ask for a ed psych. Someone else said ask for a echp and if they won't give us one , get one from the doctor. I am confused and it would be easier to let the school do what they want and bring him in , but it seems so unfair . I also don't totally recognise the child they are describe to us ! He can have his moments , but not as many as they seem to experience. Not sure he's not getting a bit scapegoated. However regardless they think he is being naughty and there are reasons but I just need an expert to tell the school and be on our side with hard evidence, need an expert assessment but not sure with who. I will ask for ed . Psych, speech and language and o.c. We can't afford to do this privately. I am not sure if he has ADHD (his birth family did) so could be genetic, I feel he may be on some kind of autistic spectrum - he needs his space physically, he is bright, he can be quite deadpan in expression at times or not quite connected to his emotions not sure how to describe it. However a lot of the time is just a wonderful , fabulous little boy with no issues that I can see, almost quite exceptional at times. All very confusing, just want him to go to school and stop getting into trouble, worried they are working towards excluding him . It is a small school and I feel like our child is spoiling their equilibrium in his class and that they will end up trying to manage him out. We have other A siblings so I think they can just see years of problems and hard work and funding issues. So would rather manage him out, But I may be being paranoid on that one !

Thank you. We don't know what the problems are , just social interactions gets worked up and ends up hurting someone - majority At school ,not so much now out of school with friends but it can happen . Quite a bright boy, memorises words and numbers quickly, and has an amazing memory.Not so good at writing and sitting still. Can seem very grown up and prefers older children or younger, not his age group . Has ongoing problems at school with hurting his peers in play. School have said they are going stop a playtime and take him out at a different time from everyone else ?!! In tears thinking about this isolation and making him different. Doctor has referred for adhd , however when I meet the Paed maybe I can ask for full assessment ? I don't know what the school will be willing to ask for, the doctor said ask for a ed psych. Someone else said ask for a echp and if they won't give us one , get one from the doctor. I am confused and it would be easier to let the school do what they want and bring him in , but it seems so unfair . I also don't totally recognise the child they are describe to us ! He can have his moments , but not as many as they seem to experience. Not sure he's not getting a bit scapegoated. However regardless they think he is being naughty and there are reasons but I just need an expert to tell the school and be on our side with hard evidence, need an expert assessment but not sure with who. I will ask for ed . Psych, speech and language and o.c. We can't afford to do this privately. I am not sure if he has ADHD (his birth family did) so could be genetic, I feel he may be on some kind of autistic spectrum - he needs his space physically, he is bright, he can be quite deadpan in expression at times or not quite connected to his emotions not sure how to describe it. However a lot of the time is just a wonderful , fabulous little boy with no issues that I can see, almost quite exceptional at times. All very confusing, just want him to go to school and stop getting into trouble, worried they are working towards excluding him . It is a small school and I feel like our child is spoiling their equilibrium in his class and that they will end up trying to manage him out. We have other A siblings so I think they can just see years of problems and hard work and funding issues. So would rather manage him out, But I may be being paranoid on that one !

My DD has been recently diagnosed with PTSD, one of the indicators being impulsivity. I did see a really good diagram on another site which showed the differences and overlaps between PTSD and ADHD. Unfortunately it can't be replicated here but I will try to find a link to post.

https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/is-it-adhd-or-child-traumatic-stress-a-guide-for-clinicians-nctsn-august-2016 This shows the diagram

My dd was diagnosed with ADHD-like symptoms at 6. We asked to try medication and found it did have an effect (and still does at 18 though she can self manage much better now so doesn't have all the difficultues she used to have). How you describe your son reminds me a lot of my dd when younger but there again I suspect trauma also played a role in her issues anyway. Overall though ADHD is a good fit for her and we believe at least one birth parent also had it. Schools always found dd very difficult as did many clubs etc but we found her relatively easy to manage, making allowances for her issues. So I've often had to reconcile the child others described with the one we knew, whilst at the same time understanding how she did present significant problems too - if that makes any sense! At home I think it was the parental presence that made the difference plus the detailed intimate knowledge of a child one has as a parent. Pre-empting was a strategy that we just always used without thinking. Making allowances for the things she found difficult. Adjusting the situation to suit her needs etc. I think those things apply to any child with needs, regardless of their source. It would definitely be better to try to get a more global assessment as an objective observer may see very different things. We knew almost nothing about ADHD before it was suggested to us by a CAMHS psychiatrist. We went with no expectation as to what they might say - only that we didn't feel she suffered from reactive attachment disorder - the "in" diagnosis for adoptive children back in those days. She'd already seen an educational psychologist - but she looked at cognitive abilities and her behaviours in school. It was through her that we ended up going to CAMHS - something else we knew nothing about at the time.

My AD wasn’t diagnosed until she was 19 but I came across ADHD via a book by Dr Christopher Green when she was about 8 and it matched her behaviour really well so I read up lots about it. I went to the GP but she would not refer as my AD had an acquired brain injury from a non-accidental head injury so everything was put down to that. However I read as much as I could and treated her “as if” she had ADHD. She went to a special school and when she asked the staff there what her learning difficulties were 2 said independently that she had ADHD (clearly they couldn’t diagnose so were doing the same as me) We eventually got her assessed privately when the local mental health people wouldn’t do it when she was 19 as we were very concerned about her impulsive behaviour which had led her into some dangerous situations and she was diagnosed as having severe ADHD - medication has been a godsend. If you’ve been referred already just go along with all your concerns - keep notes leading up to the appointment - read as much as possible so you are well informed but keep an open mind

Presumably you are seeing community paediatrics or camhs for an assessment of your son? I would,go,with an open mind and ask for an overall assessment. Maybe keep a diary in the interim, so you can express your specific concerns. I have a daughter with severe adhd. Adhd is a spectrum - some children struggle more with different aspects of it. My Daughter isn’t particularly hyperactive but she is very impulsive and has poor concentration. She also struggles with emotional regulation (very impatient and intolerant) which is also a symptom of her adhd. Medication has helped her enormously although at 11 I’m finding her more able to manage herself now. School and indeed us suspected our younger son of some form of adhd. The fact that his older sibling had it led or compounded our suspicions. In fact we were convinced he had it. However we took him to see an experienced psychiatrist who doubted it. And indeed the older he gets the less he presents as having adhd. Instead he has a probable learning difficulty which makes learning hard for him, which means it’s hard for him to focus. What I think I’m trying to say is that our children are very complex and so keep an open mind and ask for a full assessment. Also I’d recommend that you make sure the assessor is senior /experienced if you can. Good luck x

Thank you I wonder if when it comes through I can ask for a more global assessment ? or will the school do this . I am confused as I don't know if I should be asking for Speech and language, OT,Ed.Psych , ADHD assessment or does all of this come from one assessment through docs ? Or is it a two pronged approach - docs do global assessment and school get ed psych. I don't find either docs or school particularly forth coming on specific assessments. Money related probably.

School will be able to involve an ed psych and a speech and language therapist. The rest would be via camhs or a paediatrician depending on how it works where you live. Does your school get PPP for your son? If so how are they spending it? Small schools often don't know how to deal with challenging behaviour btw. You might find a big school has more experience and resources. Suggest you contact your local sendiass team as a first step. Also post adoption support xx

GP can also refer for speech and language - if you’re meeting with the school check what they are happy to refer for as they will only refer if they feel they have sufficient evidence to do so themselves as may involve a cost to them or come out if a limited time allocation. If the GP can / has referred to paediatrician then lots can come from that but may be an onward referral from the first appointment and again only if there is enough evidence to do so. GP can do separate referrals too so maybe worth an appointment to discuss maybe following your meeting with the school - but it doesn’t hurt to get referrals from both as it will emphasise the need (eg for SALT) As evidence is crucial write everything you’re concerned about down and add to it as anything else comes up

School won't make a generic referral as such. They have limited time allocation / funding to pay for ed psych and speech and language assessments. This would be based on their concerns about a child, rather than yours, which might be much more general. It's about working out what support a child may need in school. For example, a child might present as having ADHD but if they are managing well at school and learning, then they're not really interested. (I mean they might be interested but is not part of their remit - the focus is on the child's education, not in getting a diagnosis or answers as to why a child is the way they are.) They can help by referring you to eg CAMHS but your gp can do this anyway. Parents normally get ADHD or ASD etc diagnoses themselves. Some get private educational psychology or speech and language assessments too. Sometimes these don't actually add much in terms of what can be done at school. My dd had an O T assessment on the NHS which detailed loads of exercises to improve her fine motor skills but even though she had an EHCP, the school didn't do any of them. They felt her handwriting wasn't so bad and just let her have a laptop to write as her hand hurt when handwriting - much easier to do than tons of exercises needing one to one adult support . We let it go as there were much bigger issues anyway.

Thank you . Our meeting went well and school was very supportive , made lots of changes to how they are dealing with him. Referring to ed psych assessment, also working with an independent body once a week to work through his feelings. All amazing , on top of this nursery decided to do all this for our youngest too as he goes along, so that he gets all his support prior to starting school in a few years. So a really positive day all round, feeling much better. Kind, smiley, supportive, nurturing school and nursery professionals really make such a difference. Feel incredibly lucky and hopefully it will work ! Fingers crossed . Thank you for all your advice .