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Yes you are dammed if he stays in school if the staff have issues with your son as tat could impact on him in the long term but dammed if you move him for the reasons you mention, so maybe better for him to move to a school where he has no issues with the staff. how does you son feel about the situation. what was the result of the allegations (not suggesting you share ) were they unfounded or are they true .If his allegation is true then something needs to be done to protect him and other children .I would call the police .If you son has made it up then look at why maybe he is un happy at the school. the school need to do a risk assessment on your son to keep everyone safe. Could you have a meeting with head, senco and take someone with you to make a plan of action. Any letter or email you write copy in a friend or someone just so they cannot say they have not received it. Make note of phone calls when, who time and brief outline of content. good luck

I’m cross tbh. What hell our adoptees go through in life and school makes everything so much worse in many cases. I agree with my very experienced friend Ham. Get a meeting. Post adoption (?) might broker it for you ? In the meantime- there are colleges that sometimes take on younger kids who struggle at school. I’m so sorry this is happening.y son faced similar 12yrs ago starting secondary school. He wasn’t ‘bad’ enough for SEN statementing and not ‘good’ enough for normal schooling. I despair! The very good thing is that I found a small selective private school that allowed my son to grow and assemble some education together. The school was paid for by grants.

I agree with PT - my son was similar - learning difficulties but not enough that they proactively addressed these - was always getting detention for “low level disruption” (asking people what the work was for example) - never knew what the homework was - forgot detentions so these always escalated - was being bullied but the school never acknowledged this. He was excluded many times and looking at what led up to these they could always have been avoided if handled differently. He also had a mild hearing loss. He was fine at primary when he was in the group helped by the TA but secondary is so different - changes of class / teacher / teaching group which reflected his early experience and caused extreme anxiety. He ended up school refusing and wanting to kill himself. School told me many times he should be home educated (which wouldn’t have worked by then) In the end we got school to pay for him to go to supported learning at the local college. We had CAMHS involved who did the assessments the school wouldn’t do. Talk to the GP - PASW - IPSEA - SENDIAS - as many people as possible to try and work out the best way forward. At the end of the day your son’s mental health and safety are the most important things - not the school. My son didn’t want to change school as he thought the problems would still be there and the school agreed. That is something to really think about too before considering a move

Is your son in year 9 by any chance? It has become increasingly common, unfortunately, for schools to try to off load children at this stage when they are not hopeful of them getting good GCSE passes. (The government are aware and there are now moves to try to stop these exclusions happening but it won't be a quick fix, I imagine). It happened to our dd in year 9. She was 'trouble' - mostly due to lack of executive functioning skills, poor social skills and anxiety. Things hadn't been great before but had seemed to be progressing due to regular educational psychology support at meetings etc and some staff did understand and helped her a lot.. But the management unexpectedly started to clamp down - an assistant head would turn up at a meeting arranged to discuss how best to support dd and say the school couldn't tolerate things as they were. Then suddenly she had two week-long exclusions due to incidents that weren't on the face of it that serious. The second led to threats she'd be excluded if we didn't agree to her being moved to another school. (This is illegal but was and has become an increasingly common practice - LAs are powerless to stop it). We were devastated as the last thing we felt would benefit dd was a school move. The new school weren't best pleased either when they discovered her needs and maintained for a few months that she was only there on a temporary basis. However they eventually relented and took her on roll permanently. The previous school had submitted an EHCP application, fortunately, at the time she left them, and this was granted at the beginning of year 10 which gave dd a lot more 'protection', although things were never plain sailing. She did have two mentors - members of staff - that were 100% on her side and were fundamental to helping dd stay at school. School management were less enthusiastic but we were fortunate that the LA co-ordinator for dd's EHCP referred her to an outreach service well-versed in the needs of traumatised children. The advice they gave school was invaluable (they also met with us at home - it was fantastic to have someone like that on side) and the school respected it (grudgingly in some cases). Dd always valued going to school for some reason, despite everything, which was one thing we didn't need to worry about, but her behaviours/ emotions were quite unstable until about halfway through year 11. We were glad when the time came for her to leave school and attend college - she's now 2 years into that - and it has been so much less stressful and more supportive for her. The first year she had a few ups and downs, but this year she has been very stable and much more mature / independent generally. Personally I'm not sure there is a school out there that would have suited dd. I mean, I can imagine one, but I'm not sure it existed! Anyway - outside help is always good - variously we also had a post adoption sw at one time and used SENDIASS for a while. We had family therapy with a post adoption agency too and one of the therapists attended some of the school meetings. Dd also went to a teen adoption group - someone from that got involved. We also consulted solicitors etc. Anyone you can get to support you is an asset as schools often listen to them more readily and they can get things across more dispassionately than we as parents often can. My DH in particular bore the brunt of a lot of the school stuff as he works at home so was on hand to go into school - the process really stressed him out and one relationship in particular with a senior member of staff at the second school was really tricky for him.

Hi. Is it an academy? They can be absolutely shocking. Don't feel bullied. School doesn't last for ever. He will go to college after this and do something he enjoys. Just work out the best place for him in the meantime which may well be where he currently is xx